CaliBabe Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 So here is my story. With my now ex bf for 2 years. He has been going through a really tough time in his life and has started to take it out on me and treated me badly by calling me names and neglecting me. I had to put an end to it and I dumped him. Only days later he starts talking to another girl online. They talk on the phone, face time, sext, he even told her he loved her. After just days! No meeting or physical touching as she lives out of the country. He eventually ended the relationship with her and tried to get me back. I looked through his phone and saw everything. I was heartbroken at what I saw. The sexual photos, sexting, pet names, I love yous... Instead of trying to fix things with me by apologizing for his actions and trying to work things out, he went right to this other woman. Almost immediately. I feel as though he pushed me to a point where I would end things, just so he could pursue this woman. He is now asking for me back. He says he would do anything, but I just can't trust him anymore. I mean after 2 years, you got and tell some girl you love her after a few days? Anyway, I have ended the relationship for good. Do you all think this is completely justified for me to end this? He uses the defense that we were not together and that I broke up with him. I have already made up my mind about ending it, I just want to know from third parties what their opinions are. Thank you all for taking the time to read and respond.
jphcbpa Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 name calling and neglect is abuse. that is unacceptable. you ended it rightly so. his reaction afterwards tells you all you need to know about him. he is trying to blame you for his bad behavior. take a step back and see him for who he is. you deserve better and proved it by ending it. 2
Haydn Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Yes Cali you have made the right decision, the trust has gone from you and it wont come back after what you describe his actions were. Read all your other posts and i think you have a good handle on this. Take care. 1
LostConfused123 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 You absolutely made the right decision! You refused to be abused and treated like a door matt. Good for you!!! Speaks volumes about your self esteem and character. Definitely you are someone we could all look up to. ((Hugs!!)) 2
pickflicker Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Of course you have. Don't doubt it for a second. 1
Zahara Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Justifications for ending it: 1. Started treating you badly by calling you names. Verbal abuse. 2. Started neglecting you. 3. Only days later he was in love with another woman whom he never even met. It speaks of the depth of his emotional maturity and stability. 4. When you took him back, and you found out what he did with this other woman, instead of fixing it, he ran back to the other woman. Again, emotionally immature and unstable. 5. He has presented himself to be untrustrowthy. It would be very difficult to trust that he's not going to bolt the moment things get tough or to use you as a punching bag again. You did the right thing. 1
Author CaliBabe Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to me. I am obviously very emotional so I want to make sure my judgement is not cloudy. You LS members are so amazing and have helped me through many rough times. I try to come back as often as I can to pay it forward. I tend to give tough love and I (myself) am no exception. Therefore, my only logical choice was to end it for good. Healing journey starts now. No looking back. 2
Haydn Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Cali, when i first found loveshack before i was a member the bottom had dropped out of my world. Thanks to you and many others it was was repaired. In my thoughts. Haydn. Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to me. I am obviously very emotional so I want to make sure my judgement is not cloudy. You LS members are so amazing and have helped me through many rough times. I try to come back as often as I can to pay it forward. I tend to give tough love and I (myself) am no exception. Therefore, my only logical choice was to end it for good. Healing journey starts now. No looking back. 2
seekingpeaceinlove Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I think you did the right thing, Cali. If I were in your shoes, I would have dumped that SOB and never looked back. You deserve much better than that. Good for you! 1
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