Kittykat96 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Basically my friend has recently split from her fiancé of 1 year, and since moving out he has began to speak to another girl who he knows through a family friend. She found this out after going through his phone when he came back to their house to move out, and has since made his life hell, as well as the 'new girl'. She has called her and harassed her, threatening to beat her up, accused her of stealing her man and she has even claimed to her she is pregnant and ruining their marriage (when he can't even have kids anyway!), but the worst thing is she tells me all this and expects me to agree that what she is doing is right and she deserves it! As far as I'm aware, he was not seeing the girl when they were engaged, but I know that she cheated on him before their engagement ended. My real question is, what do I say, I can't encourage her to do this, but I'm scared that she will do something really bad and possibly end our friendship :/ what shall I say when she's telling me all this about how she abuses the 'new girl' and expects me to find it funny ?!? Also how can I tell her this needs to stop before the police get involved..? Thanks guys..
Author Kittykat96 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 Btw she's 21 and he is 28, and this is childish as far as I'm concerned...
Heatemyheart89 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Hello oh this is difficult. As a friend you don't have to agree with what she does. I would tell her that she should stop doing it. But say it in a 'nice' way. Like oh come on x you can do so much better than this, you are a good person. You don't want to ruin your life by getting in trouble. If she really doesn't listen to you there is not much you can do really. It isn't your responsibility really.
Keenly Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 So she cheated on him and is now stalking and harassing him and his new girlfriend while he is trying to move on with his life? Wow, talk about a selfish raving psychopath.
preraph Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Yes, I would agree that you should definitely not support this behavior at all. She is behaving just like a stalker. Lots of men go out right away after a breakup. She better get used to it before she winds up in jail.
ThatMan Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Btw she's 21 and he is 28, and this is childish as far as I'm concerned... It's illegal and beyond childish. Have you tried telling her that she needs to stop before the police get involved?
Trapito Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Maybe you can give her a link to this site. She sounds like she is in a lot of pain, she could benefit from some venting and some good advice. Just like the previous poster said: You might also warn her that it is possible the cops will soon be involved if she keeps up with this behavior, she could get a restraining order.
nescafe1982 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 OP, I feel for you. Caught between being the supportive friend and not wanting to enable this clearly destructive behavior. Perhaps you need to share with her how worried you are that her actions will get her into real trouble. Tell her you support her getting better after this breakup and you see the pain she's in, but that you cannot be a part of all these crazy things she's doing. Tell her you don't want to hear about them any more, because when you do hear about them, you are caught between wanting to be her friend and saying the right thing. Sometimes when a woman flies off the rails like this, she needs a friend to tell her she's acting crazy. Make sure she knows that you're coming from a place of being worried about her, though... you want to support and help her, but you can't do that if she is doing things that are dangerous, illegal, or wrong. If she's not ready to hear it, or if she blows up on you, create some distance between you and her. She'll come around... but until then, all you can do is draw a firm boundary about what kind of support you're willing to offer her. Good luck... these are among the toughest situations to deal with. 1
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