mochaprincess Posted January 9, 2005 Posted January 9, 2005 I know this is an age-old question, but I would like to know "does age really matter if two people are attracted to one another"? Some people say "no", but I have conflicting views on this issue. There is a younger male interested in dating me, but I have some reservations about starting a relationship. Can anyone provide some insight? "Hopeful Romantic"
crisp Posted January 9, 2005 Posted January 9, 2005 Of course it matters. Understanding it and accepting it make most relationship overcome the age difference. Not ignoring it. It also depends on the age difference. And even more on the age of the two. Four years is nothing if the two are 24 and 28. However 17 and 21.... See what I mean?
Curt Posted January 9, 2005 Moderators Posted January 9, 2005 It will only matter, if it matters to you both. If you are both consenting adults, and you enjoy each other's company, have similar interests and lifestyles, not to mention good physical and emotional communication, I believe it can work. Both partners need to be on the same page with the changes that age can put to work in your lives over time. Most importantly, both must be willing and able to use the age-centric "uniqueness" between them as a strength, not a weakness. Real love between partners in a devoted relationship can endure almost anything the world has to offer. Love each other, and let each other breathe individually as well. Best of luck to you both. Curt
mochaprincess Posted January 9, 2005 Posted January 9, 2005 Those are some good things to consider. It's a little more than 4 years age difference. The problem I think is more with me than with him. I might also mention there a other differences between us that have absolutely no bearing. But the age keeps coming into play. "Hopefully Romantic"
Baal Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 To me, age doesn't matter. Dating an older person and younger person have its own advantages. I have dated really older guys, guys my age, guys younger than me. It really depends on the two people and what you both are looking to get out of the relationship.
Elmo Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 I don't think "age difference" in itself is a problem. It is the "stage of life" difference. If you are 27 and he is 17...you are an adult woman who has so much life experience and he is very immature (no matter how physically mature). If you are 49 and he is 32...well, you both have been through alot. It could work. If you are 65 and he is 47...you are both mature adults. Of course this could work. You get my drift. People are unique...sometimes love should not be lost because society doesn't "get it". ....So, what's the story? Enquiring minds, etc.!
Curt Posted January 10, 2005 Moderators Posted January 10, 2005 I do find it interesting that you said... "but I have conflicting views on this issue. " Part of me wonders if you yourself are conflicted as to whether or not to go for it, or if you are considering society's conflict on the issue more than your own heart. Don't get me wrong ... I'm not making a judgement on ya here...just trying to wrap my brain around where your confusion is coming from. Curt
white budda Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 no it dont matter, you think love descrimanates
mochaprincess Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Part of me wonders if you yourself are conflicted as to whether or not to go for it, or if you are considering society's conflict on the issue more than your own heart. Don't get me wrong ... I'm not making a judgement on ya here...just trying to wrap my brain around where your confusion is coming from. Curt Definitely. I guess you could say that all of the above reasons factor into it. Although my sister and brother-in-law really like this guy. So do I.
ElderYoung Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 I have but one phrase to say about older/younger: "Love is love and skin is skin"... ok? Do you understand my point? Ok, I have another thing: "If both parties involved agree, then there's nothing wrong happening."
Vepo Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 I've just started dating a woman 10 years older than myself and I'm currently 22 approaching 23. We never had a problem with the age gap, we do know people will look at us and think it's wrong, but we're in love and that's all that matters to us.
Pocky Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Whether or not age difference matters is really a personal preference (considering you're not breaking the law). While many will say age doesn't matter, just as many will say it does. Personally, it's an issue for me. I dated a man that was 55 when I was 25 and I had serious issues with the age gap. I hated going out in public - everyone would stare.
emopunk Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 ...we do know people will look at us and think it's wrong, but we're in love and that's all that matters to us. Romeo and Juliet said the same thing. Seriously though, I have encountered the same thing again and again. Age is no indicator of maturity. And it absolutely is no sign of compatibility. I have several friends from various cultures across the world, and they have an interesting view on this very subject. It seems that the U.S. is one of the only countries that has a bias towards age differences. Egypt, Rwanda, Somalia, Syria, Jordan, India, France, Scotland, England, Wales, South Africa... they all have very accepting views of significant age differences. Why is the US, with one of the highest divorce rates in the world, so hung up on it?
Pocky Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by emopunk Why is the US, with one of the highest divorce rates in the world, so hung up on it? We dislike old people here in the good ole' USA!
CONFUSED0202 Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 I have the same problem... I just turned 38 this week and also got carded twice. I do not look my age, most people guess that I am around 28-30. I am recently separated and have started going to clubs again. All the guys that hit on me are from 23-28. I had a 26 year old ask for my number this past Sat., but I didnt give it to him. But most guys my age, are either married, settled down, or weird. I sort of set a limit that I would date no one under 30, but is this a stupid limit? As long as they are mature, should it matter... Also, the marriage I just came out of my husband was 12 years older. The age difference did become a problem. He was ready to curl up and die, and I am ready to live. It was a factor in our separation and definite divorce.
Juliet Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 I heard this quote somewhere and thought it was funny, "worrying about the age difference is a case of "mind over matter." If you do not "mind" it does not "matter"..lol Seriously though. The last 2 relationships I have been in were with younger men. 2 relationships with men 10yrs younger. The first one I was 31 he was 21..It lasted a few months. The second relationship was when I was 33..He was 23. I did not like going out in public a lot with him because I was uncomfortable with what people thought. These men sensed that and were quite upset. I was with the 23yr old for just over a year. I got over the public thing and what other people thought and things worked out for a while. I did get told off by a few ladies who were sickened by my dating someone so much younger. Now i am 34 and I am with a 27yr old. He seems more mature than the others. I don't care what others think anymore. My dad was with a woman 11yrs older than him for 20yrs!! Sadly he just lost her. My dad was often mistaken as her son. She loved him and never let it bother her much or she never showed him it did. When a 10yr age difference is between a 50 yr old man.. and a 60yr old woman. It becomes huge. My dad noticed many of the guys he worked with were all remarrying younger woman!!!!
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