bodomfan91 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 (edited) My girlfriend and I started dating about a year and a half ago. When we first met, she was in a relationship with another guy who was not treating her right (taking money from her, hitting her, etc.) A few months later she broke up with him and moved right into dating me. The first six months were great, standard honeymoon phase and all that, we never fought, had lots of sexual contact, etc. Not too long after that, we started bickering and fighting, mostly over my having issues with her going out and drinking and partying. Some of it was her fault, some of it was mine, usually involving my bad temper, but we worked through it and still every single day we said we loved each other. However over the course of our relationship we started having less and less intimacy. She said she was getting stressed out with her job working her all kinds of hours and her just starting college. A little after dating for a year, we got into a big fight and she said she wanted to be alone to figure things out and think. She said that she was depressed and that she didn't know what she wanted, and that I know exactly what I want and I know where I am going, and she did not want to string me along. So during this time, I started to get help to get my anger issues under control, and showed her that I changed. After about a week, she called me for the first time since the breakup, we had a long talk about what the issues we were having in the past were, and agreed to both work on our faults and make this work. I told her that I really didn't care if she went out and partied (which I really don't, I just have a bad preconcieved idea of what will happen if she does). We started going back out again, and things were great, but now its roughly a month after that, and I noticed she was being short with me and distant and I kept asking her what was wrong and she would always say nothing. She had also started talking to another guy, who she said was an old high school friend. I didn't think much of it because of 2 reasons: One was that she said she did not find him attractive in any way and said that there is no way they were compatible cause he worships the ground she walks on, and two is that when we were broken up for that week, he tried to make a move and she outright rejected him, actually defending me and telling him he doesn't know the kind of person I am when he accused me of being a terrible boyfriend and treating her badly. So, my now ex girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me, saying that she needs to be alone for a while. I kept my anger under control and asked her what the problem was, and she said that she is depressed, and that she doesn't want to keep stringing me along in a relationship she cannot put 100% into, just like before, and that she needed to be alone for a while. She said that I am a man of my word and that I did get my problems under control and fixed, but it is not fair to me for me to keep giving and getting nothing in return. Immediately after the breakup, she went out and partied for a solid week with her friends. However, I found out that she has been spending a lot of time with the other guy, and stayed over his house, with other people, twice this week. I also saw her twitter and how it looked like she was flirting with him, and he was calling her his future girlfriend and such. Naturally, I got really angry and did what I now know I should not have done, which was call her and call her out on it. I found out that she had lied to me and said she needed a recharge day, when in reality she was going to spend time with him. A different day, she said she was going out with her girlfriends shopping, when they actually went to his house to drink. She said she was scared to tell me because she didn't want me getting angry that she went out and drank, even though I told her when we got back together I don't have a problem with it. After that she asked if I was ok. I said I was fine and asked if she still loved me. She said she did in a way, and I asked her what that meant. She said she didn't know cause we have only been broken up for 2 days. Apparently she asked a couple of my friends about me the day after the breakup, but other than that I haven't heard anything. I am currently on day 5 of NC and haven't heard anything from her, but she keeps posting on twitter how last week was the best week ever (multiple times), and how this week is gonna be good. So my questions are: Is this worth pursuing or did I do too much damage? If her friends hate me, will it affect her decision to contact me? Since this is the second time we broke up, do I still have a chance? Are the twitter posts just her trying to convince herself she made the right decision, or is she actually indifferent? And finally, judging by the circumstances, do you guys think she will contact me? Thanks in advance for all the help, I know its a lot of text but I wanted to be as clear as possible about everything. 1'm 22, she's 19. Been in no contact for a little over a month. She's dating the dude now. He's a bum. A pothead loser. She's doing everything she said she hates with him. Drinking a ton, smoking hookah, etc...She might even throw her virginity away to him. I'm a better man in every way shape and form. I didn't get the I love you but I'm not in love with you speech though. I got the "I don't know what I want, and I want to be alone" speech. I asked if she still loved me, she said in a way, but she didn't know cause we just broke up. Then she said she was sorry for hurting me and she hoped I could forgive her. I think she has GIGS. Our parents were supposed to meet for the first time on Christmas Day, and her family kept inviting me out with them to get to know me better, which is something that they've never done with anyone else she has dated. I think that may have triggered it, because it was starting to get serious. Edited January 8, 2014 by bodomfan91
Recommended Posts