Ashlyn Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 i dont know what to do... i met this guy about a month ago through a mutual friend. my first observation of him was that he was really cute and fit. hes a couple years older than me but is super friendly, easy to talk to and easier on the eyes. of course i say all this to say that i think he has a girlfriend, hes divorced and has 2 kids... the first time we met i think there was an instant attraction on both parts. i was w 2 of my best guy friends and him. we hung out and he wasnt shy or weird he asked me questions about my life, job etc. we exchanged phone numbers that same night. we txt some andi have seen him at least once a week since ive known him. he has openly hit on me twice the first time was a cpl days after we initally met. we were in my friends car in the back seat and he started rubbing my legs and shoulders. i was taken aback bc 1 we were in the car w our mutual friend who had just introduced us days before that i think has some weird protective thing over me plus the guy was drunk so i took it w a grain of salt. next was abt 2 weeks into knowing him. he asked what i was doing. i had been working-- im a bartender and i was closing up- no customers allowed while closing. i told him where me and a few co workers intended on going and he said he would meet me there. well of course that is the 1 night it took FOREVER to close so he txt me and said he left literally as i was finding a parking spot. i said that was lame and i just got there. he was already home but said he may come back. which he did. so we hung out all night long ended up back at his place and he kissed me. this is where i messed up royally. i was so drunk i couldnt even really think.. i was so tired it was like 7am the sun was coming out so i didnt respond to the kiss. i left shortly after bc i felt like a jerk i didnt mean to blow him off. he has said only 1 thing to me abt being w a girl. i ran into him 1 night and we started talking he asked me abt my night and i said it was good so i asked abt his and he said it was terrible. awful. he left his date and another cpl he was so mad. he mentioned something to the effect of liking someone with other qualities. what he meant by that i couldnt tell u. so im obviously so not suited for dating if you cant tell but i think my friend who introduced us is trying to sabotage.... so he knows this guy was rubbing up on me when we were in his car and i actually think they had a talk abt me the 1st night we met anyway... he text me one night to see what i was doing and i told him i was going up to meet our mutual friend for a drink and that he should come. he was there when i got there and every couple mins i would catch him looking at me. esp when i took a sip out of my drink... lips? idk? anyway he left and i stayed w our mutual friend where he made it a point to tell me all abt the girl hes dating and that she just moved in w him..... this crushed my soul for a few days. but i have been to his house twice since then and not seen 1 sign a girl lives there and im sure if i would have been willing that one night we were at his house we would have totally hooked up. i think my friend has messed w my head so bad abt the gf that it takes over whenever he makes a move... he text me last night to see what i was up to, i told him but never saw him!! ugh! am i too available? i need suggestions.. sorry for my crazy rambling new to this !!
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 If I followed this . . . & it was hard. Use punctuation & paragraphs, please. Anyway, a mutual friend introduced you to a guy. You have been chatting & seeing each other. Somebody (I couldn't tell if it was the guy or the mutual friend) told you the guy just moved in with his GF. You now don't know what to do. If the mutual friend told you the guy has a live in GF, you need to confirm that with the guy. Straight up point blank ask. If he has a GF, you need to walk away. This won't end well. 1
Author Ashlyn Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 Hey sorry about that! i am at work and i shouldnt be on this site The mutual friend is the one who started saying the guy i like had a gf that was now living with him. he said this after the guy i like text me and we all hung out and as soon as the guy left he kept making it a point to tell me about his girlfriend.i have been to his house 2 times since my friend told me that and saw no signs that a woman lives there. none. one time was a quick stop in the afternoon. the next time i was there was between 6am-8am. on a sunday morning. i dont understand why my friend would lie to me. when we all hung out the first time he was saying that everyone there was good people and this guy is his friend so i dont get why he would make it up. but ive caught my same friend in just like stupid lies so i dont know what to think. if he has a girlfriend why does he hit on and text me and is super insanely nice? ugh! men!!!
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 You need to straight up ask the guy if he has a GF. Maybe your friend doesn't have all the facts. Next time you are with the guy, just ask him. You can even say the mutual friend said he had GF & you just wanted to make sure you weren't stepping on somebody's toes. 1
MissBee Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Why a man who has a gf would do that? Some men are cheaters and players and flirts and having a gf or wife doesn't at all prevent them from flirting with or sleeping with other women. That's the sad reality. I was an other woman once and it started by me assuming there was no way a man with a gf would ever treat and talk to me the way he did. When we first met months before, he mentioned having a gf, then I didn't really talk to him much after that and we reconnected and he was flirty and basically pursued me in the way a single man would, so I assumed they must have broken up and I didn't ask until some months later I found out that he was very much still taken. Saying all that to say that: don't assume that a man with a gf (or wife) would never be nice and flirty and text you, some of them will and this happens all the time.Therefore: ASK! Ask him directly if he has a gf or not. Don't just assume and if you don't believe his friend who told you (although it seems bizarre for him to lie about it), double check by asking this guy for yourself. 1
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