Sabrina88 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Hey guys Most of you might be familiar with my story but for the ones who are not .Here is a recap I was in Long distance relationship with a guy who left me around 6-7 months ago for my friend.For full story refer to the link below http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/419050-my-long-distance-boyfriend-likes-my-friend So now the guy is getting engaged to that friend of mine...although i am not on talking terms with my ex bf or my friend but due to our common family friends (my friend and me)...i got this information that they have it set for 18 days from now...I don't want any friendship with my ex or that friend but still this thought is lingering in my mind whether i should send my ex a text just saying "Congratulations" or not ...Please advice.
justwhoiam Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I don't want any friendship with my ex or that friend but still this thought is lingering in my mind whether i should send my ex a text just saying "Congratulations" or not ...Please advice. No. Ten times no. Did you tell your mother their friends' daughter is getting married with the guy you were romantically involved? Maybe she will congratulate them on the happy event. As far as you are concerned, stay out and away from all that. 4
Author Sabrina88 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 No. Ten times no. Did you tell your mother their friends' daughter is getting married with the guy you were romantically involved? Maybe she will congratulate them on the happy event. As far as you are concerned, stay out and away from all that. I did told my mother about the entire thing..and as per me..she's not going for that event ...
nomadic_butterfly Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 WOW why are you still obsessing over this? You are pouring salt on your own wounds. CLOSE THIS CHAPTER. They have both moved on from you and you are the least of their worries. You present yourself as loyal and faithful so I am sure some guy other there will appreciate who you are and what you have to offer. I am sure true and good friends will appreciate this as well. They don't need or want your congratulations. Stop thinking about them, as much as it hurts and focus on leading a fulfilling life; turning a new leaf. 3
Zahara Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Stop this. Move on with your life. They will certainly live to see another day if they do not receive your good wishes. You're finding excuses now to break contact. It's time to put this all behind you and completely shut the door.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 If your goal is appear desperate and still hung up on him, go for it. He will love knowing you're still hot for him and your former friend will feel smug for getting him. This benefits you how, exactly? Seriously, did you not read any of the advice from your other thread?
HeavenOrHell Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 No, I wouldn't as you're not friends with either of them anymore, you wouldn't really mean it (understandably), ie it wouldn't come from the heart, and it might confuse them, they might think you're joking around or something. Why are you even considering it, what are your reasons? Hey guys Most of you might be familiar with my story but for the ones who are not .Here is a recap I was in Long distance relationship with a guy who left me around 6-7 months ago for my friend.For full story refer to the link below http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/419050-my-long-distance-boyfriend-likes-my-friend So now the guy is getting engaged to that friend of mine...although i am not on talking terms with my ex bf or my friend but due to our common family friends (my friend and me)...i got this information that they have it set for 18 days from now...I don't want any friendship with my ex or that friend but still this thought is lingering in my mind whether i should send my ex a text just saying "Congratulations" or not ...Please advice.
polynomial Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Why would you even want to that in the first place... 1
slimmontana Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Capital N-O!!! Forget that they even exist !!
Solcita2 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Why do you keep doing this? What's wrong with you? MOVE ON... THEY DID... Do not let this event dictate who you are...
Author Sabrina88 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 (edited) If your goal is appear desperate and still hung up on him, go for it. He will love knowing you're still hot for him and your former friend will feel smug for getting him. This benefits you how, exactly? Seriously, did you not read any of the advice from your other thread? I know this won't help me...but i am not able to accept all the things that are happening...All the time this thing makes me think that there is something wrong with me that a guy who claim to love me..to be with me... can't be loyal towards me...instead treats me as an option... N i do read all the advice that you guys post ...but i don't know how to handle it....i am completely shattered...just want to get out of this sick situation....N when i read advice by all of you...I feel better but then there is "my mind n my heart" which gets distracted for some time but then again something happens that trigger those emotions and i am back to that vulnerable state Edited January 9, 2014 by Sabrina88
Author Sabrina88 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 No, I wouldn't as you're not friends with either of them anymore, you wouldn't really mean it (understandably), ie it wouldn't come from the heart, and it might confuse them, they might think you're joking around or something. Why are you even considering it, what are your reasons? I don't know why this thing came to my mind even....May be i just want an excuse to talk to him...in order to ask him why he did all that...as my heart is not accepting this thing that all this time i was in love with a guy...who never loved me...as he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who would play with someone's emotions...then there is this thing where i believe "as i thought he can't be disloyal so our love might have been weak ...that he found someone more appealing and he made a choice to go for her...and all the time he spent with me doesn't mean anything ...he didn't even care to tell me what is going on in his head or talk to me about it..
Zahara Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I don't know why this thing came to my mind even....May be i just want an excuse to talk to him...in order to ask him why he did all that...as my heart is not accepting this thing that all this time i was in love with a guy...who never loved me...as he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who would play with someone's emotions...then there is this thing where i believe "as i thought he can't be disloyal so our love might have been weak ...that he found someone more appealing and he made a choice to go for her...and all the time he spent with me doesn't mean anything ...he didn't even care to tell me what is going on in his head or talk to me about it.. Sabrina, relationships end. At some point, someone leaves you. Whether it be their feelings changed, they met someone else, or by natural causes - death. There is no guarantee that just because someone tells you they love you to the moon and back, that that would never change. People that have been married for decades, vowed togetherness for a lifetime, split up and move on to other partners. A relationship does not guarantee you a lifetime of togetherness. You have to come to terms with that. You have to accept that he chose a different path and it does not include you. Now you have to create your own path. He may have loved you in his own way but it didn't go the way you expected. It has happened to all of us here. You are not the exception. You want to break contact so you can ask him why he did that? The man is getting married. Do you really think he wants to get into all this drama with you? He has put this all behind him. He won't want to deal with it. It's unfortunate that you can't but you cannot depend on him to give you closure. Your closure is that it has ended and he is committed to someone else. Rehashing the past will not change your present or your future. It's done. It's over. Start grieving and healing from this. It's going to be painful but enough is enough. You need to let go. He can't change what you are feeling or make you feel better. 1
FitChick Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Do whatever you like. It won't change the situation.
rosedl Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I'm sorry that you are going through this situation. While I agree with the advice of other people here, I would also say that you might start examining your feelings out of the context of the relationship and see what is causing you to struggle so. There is a belief you are carrying around this breakup and you are holding onto it and you can't seem to let it go. Maybe if you could understand your own reaction to this and your perspective on it that is causing such hurt, you might be able to find a way to let go. I don't know what your particular belief is.... But, some examples that keep us stuck.... I will never meet anyone as compatible with me again. I never will find love like that again. Love is supposed to be there for you always. If that is not true, you can't trust anyone. I can't be happy alone. On and on and on..... It is all well and good for people to tell you to stop but until you look at this stuck place, you will keep going over it like a skipped record. It is there for a reason, it is trying to point out a belief and feeling that is keeping you in this place. A wound that needs to heal. The wound is YOURS though and it will keep coming out in your next relationships unless you look at it and heal it now. This may take some time. Until you really get to the point of really moving past this, all you can do is what we all do. Go through the motions. Actively stop yourself from behavior that will make the situation worse (contacting him) and just putting one foot in front of the other. It will feel true again one day. Hang in there hon. There is a different way to go. You can find it, if you keep at it 1
OnlyHonesty Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Why would you even want to that in the first place... I think She wants to do it because it's an excuse to communicate with her ex, it will bring a bit of drama that will distract her from her true feelings, it will allow her to torture herself which will be another type of distraction. In summary, I believe that she wants to text her ex to get secondary gain. There is some level of obsession her, an inability to accept that things end and it appears the OP has possibly made the mistake of making someone their whole world as opposed to making the whole world their world.
emi Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 If i knew my ex is getting married with my ex-best friend i would take it as a slap in my damn face. Forget it. Its just stupid ppl and they are killing you. Dont congraz or whatsoever
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