dmmm Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 All the great times, promises, dreams of the future. How can you stop yourself thinking of them even though doing so breaks your heart? 1
mantlefan Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Find something useful to do. Catch up on work, volunteer, get a new hobby, spend time with friends. I know how it is. For awhile, I didn't want to forget about anything, because the memories were all I had of her. I could remember us holding each other as we fell asleep, and pretending she was there would help me sleep. Eventually, you will want to let those memories go. It will happen. 1
David87 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 All the great times, promises, dreams of the future. How can you stop yourself thinking of them even though doing so breaks your heart? Yes they are, today I remembered all the bad things that she did to me, I got so mad that I tought I will smash the monitor or something. I hate her so much now for what she did. This will be an ex that I will never in my life talk to.
jphcbpa Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 take them off the pedestal and pray your a$$ off. it is helpful to write a letter to them (do no send it), put the R in its proper perspective. 1
mantlefan Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Five months after the breakup (5-year RS), I found out that she probably dumped me at least partly to go after my good "friend." This was 2 weeks ago that I found out. It's hard not to be in the prison of "why," just waiting to find out the full truth, and then and only then can I move on, but I know that that is unhealthy. In my head, I started to reinterpret the past 5 months with the knowledge that very soon after the breakup she started going after my friend. A reasonable man would come to the conclusion that she lied to me a lot, or at least was incredibly confused, saying we might get back together, we should try to be friends, etc. I need to remember that it doesn't matter. Do I love her and just want her to be happy? I need to get out of the way and let her figure things out. Do I want to get over her? I need to get out of the way and get her out my head. Do I want her back once she "finds" herself? I need to get out the way and find out what I really want. The best thing is to go no contact and to get rid of anything and everything that could remind you of your ex. I think today I am going to move my bed to a different spot from where it has been since the last few nights we spent together.
hurts2death Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 i must agree on that and as a solution i would repeat my self that she DUMPED me for gigs so her promises dont even mean a centAll the great times, promises, dreams of the future. How can you stop yourself thinking of them even though doing so breaks your heart?
LostConfused123 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I have found not thinking about all the wonderful parts of our relationship and the moments that made me beyond happy are almost impossible to squash, especially in the very beginning of recovery. As time went on, I started to have some sort of control over the memories and knew they were toxic and only delayed my healing. Now, when those thoughts creep into my mind I can stop them almost immediately. Kinda like "Hey, what the hell are you doing in my head??? GET OUT!!!" But yeah, definitely one of the hardest steps in recovery. In my opinion anyway. I just kept myself as busy as possible until I was so exhausted, I literally dropped into bed. Being idle was the enemy for many weeks. Best of luck in your recovery!! ((Hugs!!))
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