theboss123 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I've been with friends with this girl for ages... and she told me she liked me still like 2-3 months ago. It was my fault for waiting too long to ask her out but at the same time I'm glad I didn't because she fell for another guy in our college... Thing is they've been together for like a month and a half now? And literally last week sunday and on new years... she told me she "loved me" and she feels lost without me. I told her we should stop speaking because you can't say you love me when your with someone else! But I had a feeling she didn't wanna let go. Anyway, 4-5 days ago... I told her its over, everything's finished as I couldn't handle it anymore, told her to delete me etc block me as I did the same so I haven't been in touch with her for like a week or whatever. I still like her... and I know she probably hates me because I've stopped talking to her but it was for my own good and safety that I stop getting hurt. Today was the first day of college and I saw her... obviously she would ignore me etc and look away. Her face had hatred all over me and I think she could see the same with me. ... I always see her with her new guy and they tend to always get on the same bus as me and its so awkward... I feel like... I want her badly when I see her with him :/ I just wish I knew how she still felt even though we aren't talking, if she hates me immensely or still has feelings.... I dont know... I need help :/
ShyGuy5 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Time for you to do some soul searching. This is a walking contradiction. Do you want her or do you just want her NOT to have someone.
Author theboss123 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 I do want her... Its my fault for waiting too long, I know... Plus she was my first, but there's nothing I can do about it now :/ I have to move on, but there's still so many unanswered questions.
ShyGuy5 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 You could have ended it amicably though instead of the blocking method. Ever heard of if you love something let it go and if it comes back then that's how you know?
Author theboss123 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 (edited) How could I have done that?? Damn... trust me, my method was so extreme that it was crazy... I shouldn't have ended it like that and I regret it badly :/ I've heard of it, but i've never taken the quote into account. Well I can't do anything i guess. She probably hates me like crazy. Blocked me on everything too. Edited January 8, 2014 by theboss123
emva07 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I don't see you cutting her off as a bad thing. She was hurting you..."I love you".....yet she's still with someone else??? Pffftt. good riddance. 1
Author theboss123 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 That's what I was thinking... I was really hurt. She told me she loved me twice :/ whilst shes going out with him. It's like argh... I couldn't do anything but end it. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Did you ever tell her that you would like to date her if she stopped seeing the other guy? He strikes me as her back up plan second choice because even after she told you that she liked you, you did nothing. When she told you that she loved you (unfortunate timing notwithstanding), your response was to kick her out of your life. You should have said, I like you too but I'm not a home wrecker. Make a choice: me or him. If you pick me, get rid of him & we'll go out. If you pick him, I'm gonna need some distance. 1
Author theboss123 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 You asked the right question. I did tell her. She even said that to me. "If me and him don't work out, would you wanna try again?" I said yes initially. But then again I just feel like her second choice. If it doesn't work out for her ill be the rebound just to make her feel better. I did tell her I liked her... I told her I loved her like crazy and she told me the same thing. But she said she felt "obliged to be with him" Maybe out of respect I think because she just got together with him. Your right, I should've said that. But I didn't, its like she just wanted me to hang about even though she liked me like crazy... but if i said that, she probably would've chosen me as shes only known him for like 2 months now :/
Author theboss123 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 I feel as if I made the worst decision by cutting her off like that though... like literally ending it in such a bad way that it feels like we'd never talk again :/ cuz its been 4-5 days and she hasn't said a word, neither have I. Even in real life when we get on the bus its so awkward :/
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 It sounds like she's trying to do the right thing. . albeit inelegantly. Let her do what she's gonna do. You go off & do something else. If, when she's done with him you're free & want to try with her, go for it. I don't see any inherent malice or "settling" here. I see 2 young inexperienced people bumbling along, trying to figure out life & love & making a few errors along the way. Don't let it or her define your life. 1
Author theboss123 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 It sounds like she's trying to do the right thing. . albeit inelegantly. Let her do what she's gonna do. You go off & do something else. If, when she's done with him you're free & want to try with her, go for it. I don't see any inherent malice or "settling" here. I see 2 young inexperienced people bumbling along, trying to figure out life & love & making a few errors along the way. Don't let it or her define your life. I'm trying not to... Yeah we're young and inexperienced, you're not wrong about that. I'll definitely give her another go if she's ever done with him... I'll just try to forget about it for now I guess... but I just hope her feelings never go for me, if it hasn't already.. And what does, "albeit inelegantly" Mean?
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Alas, the poor vocabularies of youth. albeit means although inelegant means clumsy It means she was trying to do the right thing but sort of made a mess of it.
Author theboss123 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 Alas, the poor vocabularies of youth. albeit means although inelegant means clumsy It means she was trying to do the right thing but sort of made a mess of it. Haha sorry, just never heard that term before. What do you mean doing the right thing? Wow its so weird how you're so right. She even said "I've made a mess of it all" God knows whats going through her head right now.
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 She liked you. She wasn't sure what you wanted & because you didn't make a move, she took up with him. Then you came back but she was already dating him. She told you that she liked/loved you but thought she had an obligation to the other guy so she wants to see where that goes. She's confused & trying to do the impossible: make 3 people happy in this love triangle the other guy might not even know he's in.
Author theboss123 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 She liked you. She wasn't sure what you wanted & because you didn't make a move, she took up with him. Then you came back but she was already dating him. She told you that she liked/loved you but thought she had an obligation to the other guy so she wants to see where that goes. She's confused & trying to do the impossible: make 3 people happy in this love triangle the other guy might not even know he's in. You're right... I waited way too long to admit I liked her and when I did, it all cut loose. Well now she can make 1 person happy because I'm out of her life for now. Out of respect so she can focus on that guy, even though I feel he's a bit of a rebound and she told me some of his flaws etc. Plus the guy has immense hate for me lol. I hope it works out with us anyway.... if she doesn't have a long term relationship with him that is.
darkmoon Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 (edited) u will not want her when she is 60, it is her looks atmo lots of love, Granny xx Edited January 8, 2014 by darkmoon
Author theboss123 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 u will not want her when she is 60, it is her looks atmo lots of love, Granny xx I fell for her personality... that's the worst thing, shes the sweetest person ever. Even though she is beautiful... I just miss her for everything. But I understand where you're coming from..
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