sw2020 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 It's like a story you couldn't make up. I went NC, left my home town over xmas and got myself together, had loads of fun, saw my family and felt good. Then I got drunk and broke NC. I'd been drinking a fair bit over xmas and not broken NC before. So anyway, woke up in the morning with a message back. Then she wanted to meet. I said no. She said she had so much to say sorry for and to tell me. So I went. She said sorry etc. Then she talked to me about the abortion (see my previous posts) and how much it had really affected her and how she had to shut me out. Then she told her family about it too. That actually shocked me, but I'm not sure if it was to drag me back in or to actually own up to some stuff on her part. Her dad said she's been acting crazy the time we've been apart. Then we slept together. Then she asked about us trying again. I said I was happy to see her a bit but not get in to anything full on. I feel fairly chilled about it all, but I'm also very wary of if I'm in denial or not. If she told me tomorrow that she never wanted to see me ever again, I'd be cool with that. But obviously if we spend time together and then she says it in two/three weeks time, who knows if I will be near as strong. It's like having the most seductive woman knocking at your front door in her underwear asking to be invited in as it's cold outside. You know what's likely to happen, but the temptation is great.
David87 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 It's like a story you couldn't make up. I went NC, left my home town over xmas and got myself together, had loads of fun, saw my family and felt good. Then I got drunk and broke NC. I'd been drinking a fair bit over xmas and not broken NC before. So anyway, woke up in the morning with a message back. Then she wanted to meet. I said no. She said she had so much to say sorry for and to tell me. So I went. She said sorry etc. Then she talked to me about the abortion (see my previous posts) and how much it had really affected her and how she had to shut me out. Then she told her family about it too. That actually shocked me, but I'm not sure if it was to drag me back in or to actually own up to some stuff on her part. Her dad said she's been acting crazy the time we've been apart. Then we slept together. Then she asked about us trying again. I said I was happy to see her a bit but not get in to anything full on. I feel fairly chilled about it all, but I'm also very wary of if I'm in denial or not. If she told me tomorrow that she never wanted to see me ever again, I'd be cool with that. But obviously if we spend time together and then she says it in two/three weeks time, who knows if I will be near as strong. It's like having the most seductive woman knocking at your front door in her underwear asking to be invited in as it's cold outside. You know what's likely to happen, but the temptation is great. I know it's tempting, but I also think that this won't end well. 2
MoooOinkBaaa Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I wouldn't do it. You had to reach out to her. If she really wanted you back she would of found you first. Plus you don't know where she's been.
Author sw2020 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 Yeah I hear what you're both saying. She's knocking very hard on my door for getting back together though. I'd say resistance will show how much she really wants it.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Yeah I hear what you're both saying. She's knocking very hard on my door for getting back together though. I'd say resistance will show how much she really wants it. Okay I re-read all your post Look, I cant sit her and say I know what going through an abortion is like. I'm sure it sucks a lot. For that, I am sorry. With THAT said, your constant breaking up and getting back together is pretty bad. Like comical bad. I feel this back and forth is only because she is insecure. Maybe the abortion made it worse this time who knows. I feel like she honestly doesnt want YOU as bad as she just doesnt want to be alone. You said that you guys "make up quickly as we fall out" and that isnt good. What changes if you guys keep breaking up, not really solving anything, and then getting back together? A couple of weeks isnt going to do it anymore. If I were you, I'd let it go all together. 1
Author sw2020 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 I'm wholly aware that it's comedy gold. I'm worryingly a really intelligent, good looking guy with a lot going for me. I'm going to get dragged back in if I'm not careful and I know that won't end well. Why do I now feel like I need to break up with her even though I've not said I'd get back together?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 (edited) I'm wholly aware that it's comedy gold. I'm worryingly a really intelligent, good looking guy with a lot going for me. I'm going to get dragged back in if I'm not careful and I know that won't end well. Why do I now feel like I need to break up with her even though I've not said I'd get back together? Lol well, I've seen MUCH worse on here, so you're good. Its a push and pull man. Most of us, at least, start out with the confidence that we will be alright and there will always be someone out there for us. However, most of us are nervous at what the future holds. In addition, you guys have spent a lot of time together, so everything is familiar. Her looks, her actions, her smell....its all familiar. Also, there isnt much work involved. You can get the basic human needs from her (comfort, sex, etc) without really having to try incredibly hard. Most of us don't like to stray past the norm. It seems like you are in a crossroads here. I'm spitballing here, but I'm guessing you feel that you can be happier and less stressed if you were with someone else, but at the same time, you obviously care about her since you guys have spent such a long time together. You know if you went back, you guys would be happy for awhile and then it will turn into this again. The abortion is something that WILL come back up again I assure you. This will not be something that happens once and its done. She will get mad, sad, angry, remorse, etc etc etc. Do I blame her? No, not at all. That is such a huge thing in someones life. If you do get back, you will have to deal with that a lot. An abortion is something that can break up long marriages, much less a relationship that's pretty wishy-washy to begin with. It's always hard to look past the haze of life.....but I think, in the grand scheme of things, you would be better off branching off here. This is my opinion, and you will ultimately do what you're going to do....but I dont really (at least from what you said) see this going very far. Edited January 8, 2014 by ConfusedHumanBeing
Author sw2020 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 Haha thanks. :-) I'm not worried about what the future holds, and it's not about being familiar. After dealing with her, I'm fairly certain I just want to be on my own for a while and relax and enjoy life with no drama. But I just enjoy her so much. She's really sweet and good fun. Just mixed with crazy drama side.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Haha thanks. :-) I'm not worried about what the future holds, and it's not about being familiar. After dealing with her, I'm fairly certain I just want to be on my own for a while and relax and enjoy life with no drama. But I just enjoy her so much. She's really sweet and good fun. Just mixed with crazy drama side. Yeah people are different. I had maybe 30% of it right lol. I can tell you that there are fun and relaxing people out there with no drama whatsoever.
Author sw2020 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 You were probably more right than I really wish to admit. Even if I'm entirely aware of it, denial is still denial. I'm sure this time will be better, no doubt she's done a lot of soul searching and is now secure in herself and totally trusting and has learned loads........... ;-)
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