Cakess Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Suppose you are at a restaurant or an outdoor picnic with friends/family with a date. Is it bad? I just want to see opinions. I do it personally with my boyfriend, but I always hear that it's really pathetic looking from afar or definitely not something you should do when you're first dating someone. But, I don't see it as a bad thing! Do you?
Els Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 What do you mean 'beside'? As in, next to each other if there is a long table with a lot of people? Or when it's just two of you and you literally pull the chair around so you can both sit at the same end? The former is completely normal, the latter is plain weird. 1
Author Cakess Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 What do you mean 'beside'? As in, next to each other if there is a long table with a lot of people? Or when it's just two of you and you literally pull the chair around so you can both sit at the same end? The former is completely normal, the latter is plain weird. yeah, the last scenario you said. You think that's weird? Why?
Arieswoman Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 (edited) When a couple go out to dinner in England they sit across the table from each other. This is so they can talk, eat and look at each other. At an informal situation like a BBQ where there may not be any tables or the guests might be sitting on the grass or on outdoor chairs, then you could be sitting side by side if you wanted. Why do you ask the question? Edited January 8, 2014 by Arieswoman 1
Els Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 yeah, the last scenario you said. You think that's weird? Why? Well, restaurants typically have one chair at each end of the table so you can look at each other and talk as you eat. Common etiquette I guess. Moving any furniture around in a restaurant is a pretty huge faux pas... On the other hand if it's a cafe or coffee place with long sofas you could probably get away with sitting side by side. 1
Author Cakess Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 When a couple go out to dinner in England they sit across the table from each other. This is so they can talk, eat and look at each other. At an informal situation like a BBQ where there may not be any tables or the guests might be sitting on the grass or on outdoor chairs, then you could be sitting side by side if you wanted. Why do you ask the question? I've also heard that sitting next to your date at a restaurant when usually you are supposed to sit across from them is either strange, weird, or annoying. Say if I'm eating out at a diner with my boyfriend, we sit next to each other, not across, at a booth. I wanted to hear other opinions.
regine_phalange Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I prefer an angle of 90 degrees. Across the table is too far away (I'm a bit deaf too ), sitting next to each other can get uncomfortable when you want to look at each other and talk. 2
soccerrprp Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 After getting comfortable with someone, I like sitting side by side if the seating arrangements allows for it. But, if some serious conversation is going on, I like to keep my eyes on the eyes of the person I'm speaking to, so across is better. It depends.
Els Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I prefer an angle of 90 degrees. Across the table is too far away (I'm a bit deaf too ), sitting next to each other can get uncomfortable when you want to look at each other and talk. Ah, yes, 90 degrees. This is my favourite, honestly. Sadly many restaurants don't offer such a seating option, unless we get the 4-person table.
veggirl Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I don't get it. I don't sit next to my bf when we go out to eat alone but I don't care if other people do. Has someone commented on it to you or something? 1
divinegrace Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 It depends on the mood, situation, and restaurant, I think. If my boyfriend and I are somewhere casual and want some 'intimate' time (cuddly, not making out in public), then if a booth is available and we can sit side by side all the better. Often we even share a meal because I don't eat a lot, and we've had some looks, but whatever... If fine dining, there is generally tables and we are usually seated across from one another. Being able to have that full eye-contact is also a plus. I don't think there is anything wrong with doing what feels good for you and your partner as long as you're cognizant that you're still in public and keep it P.G.
clia Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 (edited) I think it looks really strange when a couple sits on the same side of the booth at a restaurant(when it is only the two of them.) But, if that's what you want to do, who cares what anyone else thinks? Edited January 8, 2014 by clia 4
Shepp Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I think it looks really strange when a couple sits on the same side of the booth at a restaurant(when it is only the two of them.) On there own it does look odd, but with family or friends not at all, where else would you sit? 3 people away from each other? That would be pretty strange in a new relationship when your partner doesn't even know your family that well. Informally when everyone's sitting outside or milling around then I think sitting anywhere cool. My gf would often go sit with my sister & SIL where i'd sit with my brother & cousins but equally it wouldn't be at all strange if she stayed sitting next to me.
newmoon Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 sometime during each relationship I have done this a few times, but it is never met with great enthusiasm. I find it just fine, if you want to cuddle a bit, etc. but no bf's have actually been enthusiastic. perhaps it just comes down to table etiquette more than anything and people needing their person space to eat and enjoy food? who knows... it does look 'weird' because it's not the norm in restaurants but it's cute to me all the same
MsOptimist Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 My bf and I sit beside each other almost all the time when we go out to eat. I have never done this with anyone else before, but I love it and so does he, he was the first one to introduce this to me. My exH would have likely had a heart attack on the spot before agreeing to something like that. It allows for a much more cozy meal where we can cuddle up and share our food easier. There's no problem with making eye contact and we don't care if others find it weird. Do whatever you enjoy.
Author Cakess Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 My bf and I sit beside each other almost all the time when we go out to eat. I have never done this with anyone else before, but I love it and so does he, he was the first one to introduce this to me. My exH would have likely had a heart attack on the spot before agreeing to something like that. It allows for a much more cozy meal where we can cuddle up and share our food easier. There's no problem with making eye contact and we don't care if others find it weird. Do whatever you enjoy. Exactly how I feel! I can't deny it though, when I do it in public with my partner we do get stares. But from these responses I see that it is more of a social taboo than just immature or weird. I've had someone comment that sitting beside your date at a booth or table was very immature and a sign of a young, immature relationship. But, I'm glad that I'm not the only one!
carhill Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I generally sat across from dates when first meeting or 'getting to know' and, once a sense of intimacy/interest was established, would 'switch', either from the start, or 'during', like coming back to the booth at a restaurant after using the rest room. I had no problem 'moving stuff' to get closer to a lady. While I was married, my exW and I had no discernible pattern. Sometimes was sat across, sometimes next to. Nothing like a little public 'handling' to make things interesting. 1
MsOptimist Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Exactly how I feel! I can't deny it though, when I do it in public with my partner we do get stares. But from these responses I see that it is more of a social taboo than just immature or weird. I've had someone comment that sitting beside your date at a booth or table was very immature and a sign of a young, immature relationship. But, I'm glad that I'm not the only one! Until this thread I never thought much about it being taboo or some considering it immature - I don't think that way at all. We haven't gotten any comments about it, but then again I can't say I've ever paid much attention if others are staring even. Usually we're so absorbed in each other and the meal that I don't notice what's going on around us. If it's a small table for 2 that isn't accommodating for the restaurant I don't think we'd sit beside each other - in that instance we'd opt to eat at the bar.
lop98 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I can't stand seeing couples do this, it looks cheesy and pathetic to me but I guess I find it inappropriate too when there's people in a table in front of you and the couple's in audience position, or like they will broadcast the news for everyone. 1
Debanked Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I'll sit however I want. I am there so the restaurant can impress me, not so I can impress them. 2
GemmaUK Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 In psychology terms a woman feels less threatened andmore comfortable if a new partner is across the table from her . A male feels more comfortable if his new partner sits to his left (left side of brain being the more attuned to emotions). I usually prefer to sit next to to be honest though.
Author Cakess Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 I can't stand seeing couples do this, it looks cheesy and pathetic to me but I guess I find it inappropriate too when there's people in a table in front of you and the couple's in audience position, or like they will broadcast the news for everyone. Yeah, it's people like you I was worried about... But I'm glad to see that other couples do sit like this and find no harm done! I feel much better about it.
sabre80 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I often will sit next to my lady if its on the noisy side. I have a hard time hearing.
thinkingofhim Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 My BF and I usually sit on the same side of the booth, I wasn't aware that anyone else was watching! ha Personally I think it's weird (and pathetic) to be focused on other peoples' seating arrangements on their dates. 3
Phoe Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 DO WHAT MAKES YOU GUYS HAPPY!!! lol. Who cares if people on the other side of the room think it's odd? My boyfriend and I will start out across from each other as we eat and chat, but once the meal is done he scoots over to my side and we sit next to each other
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