PinkDotsXOXO Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Hey everyone thanks in advanced for your help! To make a long story short I had been dating my boyfriend for 3 months but we had been official for 2. I admit, we moved pretty fast in all aspects and met each other’s families very soon as well. He would always say he is so happy with me and that I’m so great and understanding and that I’m his girl and he thinks everything between us was going well. We hadn’t been fighting or anything in fact we had a couple of very fun days (we attended a concert, a nice dinner, and some parties) and out of nowhere he decides to break up with me. At first he says it’s because he’s not “head over heels” for me but later says he just can’t see us together long term but refuses to tell me why. He says he has his reasons and I don’t need to know them because it’s his problem. He also told me we will never be together again. However, he has been initiating contact with me a lot lately (more than once a day) and saying things like “I Miss you” “I will always care about you” (we have decided to maybe be friends with benefits and possibly still hangout and go places even though we still have feelings for each other). He says “You will always mean so much more to me than just an ex or a friend with benefits” and “I know I don’t know you that well yet but part of me wonders if knowing more about you would change how I feel, but it doesn’t change my mind”. Today he also told me he needed a hug. He also says that we mean a lot to each other. But maintains “I believe I made the choice I feel I needed to make though. It’s the best for the both of us”. He wants me to come over tomorrow and last time we kissed after our breakup he looked so sad and like he was pondering things and when he kissed me I could tell there was feelings behind it. He admits he did not break up with me because he didn’t not care about me or have feelings for me. Is this a lost cause or is there any way I could possibly get him back? Or anyone’s opinion on the whole thing?
pickflicker Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 It's very unlikely that you will get him back. And you definitely won't get him back by being friends with benefits. So either be happy with sex friends or finish it. If a man said that I was not the one he saw himself with long term, I'd bow out of his life permanently. 3
CaliBabe Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Reduced to friends with benefits? Your good enough to F*** but not be his girlfriend. Girl no. Kick his a$$ to the curb and fast! 4
legion113 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Sounds like he's not extremely physically attracted to you enough to keep you long term, but like they said, he'll screw you until he finds someone else. Sounds like a manipulative jerk actually, I miss F***ing you but not being around you for much else, like being in a relationship is what he's saying. That line about meaning more to him then an ex or friends with benefits is a bunch of bs too. Cut off all contact, and REALLY show him what it's going to be like with you gone. Then see if he comes crawling back once he goes "dry" from sex for awhile, or a relationship for that matter. Geez, what a gigantic A-HOLE!
Qqq Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 (edited) How old are you? I can not believe you would even consider being with this guy. He sounds like a huge *******. I asked how old you are because when I was in high school a friend used to say that to girls all the time. He had like 5 friends with benefits and he told me all you have to do is act like you are extremely emotional person but you just can't be in a relationship right now, but maybe one day. But let's still be together. He said most girls would buy into it. I couldn't believe this worked. But today, in my mid 30s I do not know a single woman who would put up with that. Unless they are severely self conscious or didn't care and just wanted to have a friends with benefits as well. If you are just out for fun then have fun with it. But if you like him and want there to be more there never will. Ever. Even if you somehow get him to say you two are dating again, he will either cheat or it will happen again where he says let's take a break. If he wanted to be with you he would be. Period. It's not like you dated for years and there are underlying issues that are keeping you apart even though you love each other. You were dating for a few months and this... I am sorry if this sounds mean, but I just hate to see people getting taken advantage of. You could do better and when you find a guy who wants to be with you 100% no strings or rules... You will be beside yourself with happiness and you will look back at this douche bag and realize he was class a douche and you will say to yourself... What was I thinking? But, hey, maybe I am wrong and he is the one guy in the world who actually had some major thing happen to him that prevents him from getting serious with a girl and you are the one person who can change this and turn him into the guy you want him to be... I am semi serious about that, but mostly joking to make a point. I hope I don't sounds like an ass, but my twin sister needed to have this said to her in this way to snap her out of the way guys treated her. Don't settle for someone's play thing, unless you want to be. I hope you take this advice and find a guy who would do anything for you...because you deserve it. Edited January 8, 2014 by Qqq 1
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 No I don't think you can get him back, because I'm not sure you ever had him. If he won't tell you the reason, there is nothing you can do to "fix" the problem. If he truly meant any of the BS he's feeding you about how special you are, he'd discuss his reasoning with you. 1
Author PinkDotsXOXO Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 Thank you guys for all of your help! I am 24 years old and to give a little background I got out of a 7.5 year relationship back in April. When I was finally over my ex which took months and lots of tears I met this guy who I thought was everything my ex wasn't. This guy has never lied to me, but tells me now this is the right choice-for the moment. I'm done with all of his random promises. Thanks for the advice
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