HeartBorken Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 So me and my Ex been broken up for probably like 5 months now maybe a little more (NC 3 months). Anyway since the break up first month i begged like crazy only to find out she started dating someone two weeks later. So from that point i started working on myself as well as getting back into dating. Anyway i get a unknown called and decided to pick it up. sure enough its my Ex. She basically starts the Convo saying she know she isn't suppose to call me and then starts crying. She then asks me if she was ever enough for me and if i was satisfied with her. I tell that i was happy with her and i hope everything with you is fine and i got off the phone. I didn't want to stay on the phone much longer simply because i am at a point were i want to move past this part of my life and forget about her (Not trying to be mean but she gave me one brutal break up. Owes me $2k. threw out my clothes. told me the break up was all my fault and again started dating 2 weeks later with her best friend which leads me to believe there was possible cheating. We had a 2 year relationship which she ended a month after she moved away. (I was suppose to move in with her this month) So any reason for this behavior. Does this make me a jerk for ignoring the calls before i finally decided to pick up. 2
2fargone Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I think you did good. But I sure hope you have decided for yourself if you want to move on or not. Because if you would want her back, you surely have to forget about 'what she did'.... Also, if you don't want her back, be really clear about that towards her.
CelticGibson Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 No it doesn't make you a jerk. You had to do what you needed to do for you. If that makes you a little selfish then good because once she shafted you, you owe her nothing. Move on and free yourself of her crap. Life will be better for you if you do...
Luke12345 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 So me and my Ex been broken up for probably like 5 months now maybe a little more (NC 3 months). Anyway since the break up first month i begged like crazy only to find out she started dating someone two weeks later. So from that point i started working on myself as well as getting back into dating. Anyway i get a unknown called and decided to pick it up. sure enough its my Ex. She basically starts the Convo saying she know she isn't suppose to call me and then starts crying. She then asks me if she was ever enough for me and if i was satisfied with her. I tell that i was happy with her and i hope everything with you is fine and i got off the phone. I didn't want to stay on the phone much longer simply because i am at a point were i want to move past this part of my life and forget about her (Not trying to be mean but she gave me one brutal break up. Owes me $2k. threw out my clothes. told me the break up was all my fault and again started dating 2 weeks later with her best friend which leads me to believe there was possible cheating. We had a 2 year relationship which she ended a month after she moved away. (I was suppose to move in with her this month) So any reason for this behavior. Does this make me a jerk for ignoring the calls before i finally decided to pick up. Good on you mate! I wish you hadn't picked up that phone to be honest but you didn't know who it was, its all good. This type of behaviour usually stems from her own life being in some sort of despair and she's trying to use you a scapegoat because you cared for her once before. She probably had a man, he was a wanker, she needs you now. But do you want to deal with that? She sounds like a head case mate, she sounds like she really hurt you and you'd be better off without her in your life, obviously at the end of the day its your decision, so sit yourself down, think about what YOU want (it sounds like you were doing fine though before this), DONT lie to yourself, then decide. If you want my opinion though, do what you did before, your not a prick, your actually being reasonable compared to all the **** she put you through, maybe even save that number so you know what one to avoid. Keep up with your own life dude, no necessary negativity needed. 3
polynomial Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 You're not being a jerk at all! She ditched you and you have every right to move on without her getting in the way with her selfish crap.
fixing Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Your not a jerk mate. She owes you 2k though, i suggest you get that back tbh. She sounded like she treated you very badly in the break up too, and if you suspect she was cheating, i always say that your gut instincts on cheating are almost always right! So, if she is likely to be able to send you that 2k amicably, i suggest you ask her for it, once received go no contact.
Author HeartBorken Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 I still do care about her a lot but being selfish is right. In fact she broke up with me and started dating two weeks later..... Its odd that she is even asking if she was ever enough for me. Oh well doesn't matter now i guess. I don't want to get back with her so i guess i will avoid the (Unknown) Phone calls. The only thing that hurts now is knowing i have to stop communication with someone i once held close to my heart.
organizedchaos Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I still do care about her a lot but being selfish is right. In fact she broke up with me and started dating two weeks later..... Its odd that she is even asking if she was ever enough for me. Oh well doesn't matter now i guess. I don't want to get back with her so i guess i will avoid the (Unknown) Phone calls. The only thing that hurts now is knowing i have to stop communication with someone i once held close to my heart. Yep, that is what really sucks about what it has to come to. A person you once shared everything with, talked to every day, explored every part of him/her etc, etc...is now a stranger.
Luke12345 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 It will hurt, but do it. SIMPLES Come tell me in a month if it still hurts (provided you have kept to NCing her)
Fangorn Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 You handled this excellently. She ditched you brutally, you owe her nothing. The person that you once held close to your heart no longer exists. Treat it as such. 2
Lizzay03 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Wow that's messed up in so many ways dude, you're not a jerk at all. Good for you that you're trying to move on and do better!
MoooOinkBaaa Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 You're not a jerk you're a hero! Get that 2k back though, please. 1
Author HeartBorken Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 (edited) This may be a bit long since i am kinda venting as well. Well me and my Ex were together for nearly two 2 years she broke up with me in September and started dating less than two weeks later (She was acting weird right before the break up so i suspect she was most likely cheating). Anyway she basically told me she deserves better and that its my all fault that i made her leave. (At the time was suffering from depression (Clinically diagnosed) so wasn't social as much as i should have been. Was stressed out about a lot of stuff) So she basically left me when i was at my lowest point i guess. (To keep things short i will just say i did all i could for her. Gave her a place to stay when she couldn't deal with her parents. Payed off her debt the best i could. Sold my stuff to help get her secure (She owes $2k as well as left me in debt that i have to cover now. She also threw out all my clothes.) So basically i started working on myself. Loss weight did a bit of dating got a better job. Life was feeling pretty good (I have been full No Contact). I guess it was an out of sight out of mind type of thing. But recently she called me from an unknown number and i picked up. She was on the phone crying asking me if she ever was enough for me and if i was ever satisfied with her. (I never cheated. I always called her beautiful. I gave my everything to this girl why in the hell would she ask me that). I told her i was happy with our relationship and got off the phone. The issue is I'm feeling angry again. She has her friends & family and possible a boyfriend to go vent her feelings to. I felt it was selfish of her to call me. let alone ask that question as though i left her. wtf........ I'm just so pissed off right now. I felt like i made progress now i am back at the point where she angers me again... I don't know how to fully explain what i am feeling i guess. it just seems unfair that all these emotions just flooded back with a phone call. I know everything with this girl is burned. I guess that's why i hate myself. We can't even be friends i just can't do it. (It's like i know what i have to do but it hurts doing it) Edited January 9, 2014 by HeartBorken
strive Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Yes it was very selfish for her to ask you that. She basically needed an ego boost and you just gave it to her. It's natural to feel angry because the talk set you back. But the good news is you'll bounce back faster from this compared to when you're just starting. Good luck and stay strong. And don't be hard on yourself. 1
freebird31 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Wow...seriously don't get how some people can be so selfish sometimes. Like are they unaware of how selfish they are being. I feel for you. My ex was confusing and contacted me too after I was trying to let it go. Just not worth it! They're not worth it. I would rather find someone who sticks with me and who wouldn't leave me the first time. Their loss, my friend.
Recommended Posts