brianfantana Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Hi, I'm 19 and at University. I met my girlfriend when I was 16 and we shortly got together, she was my first girlfriend and also 16. After 2 1/4 years, we broke up a few days ago. We were both reluctant to do it, me more so than her but lately we've been arguing as getting to see each other is a rarity and it has reached the point where we can barely see each other weekly, even when I'm at home because of her working hours. I'm at Uni and she works 2 jobs. She is dedicated on working as many hours as possible to get the experience and also saving to go to Australia at the end of this year for 3 months to see her friend. I have always shown my support to her for this, although I do get frustrated when there's hardly any time I can see her! I love her more than anything, she said a week ago she still loves me and doesn't plan on seeing/talking to another lad once we break up. I also have no intention because I just love her too much. I leave for uni this Saturday so we organised to see each other for the last time this Thursday, after we had officially broken up. I had a think about it and thought it was too difficult to see her again so told her we should leave it and she agreed due to not wanting to argue about it anymore. I have unfollowed/deleted her on Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat but don't think she has noticed yet. I did this because I don't want to see her interacting with another lad (I know, I'm silly) however I've kept her on Facebook. Basically we left it as wishing each other the best, for her job and my second semester at uni. I told her she had my number if she ever wanted to talk and she said she was sure she would do. I have realised we can't have a proper relationship because of the distance (2 hour drive) and the fact she works through the week and both weekend days. I just don't want to lose her. I have been tempted to talk to her since we broke up and just say I love her more than anything etc. but I have restrained myself, so basically I have come here for advice. Should I leave it for a month or so, wait for her to contact (if she does) or open up and tell her straight how I feel, maybe see her the Thursday before I go back to uni? Hopefully I haven't waffled too much, any advice would be much appreciated.
Cakess Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I think...if you guys broke up, then you shouldn't start pestering with declarations of love. She must know you love her. Just stop contact, and put some space between you two. I know that might be difficult but maybe it will take some time before you can reevaluate things. c
Author brianfantana Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 I think no contact is the way to go, see what happens. Will just have to bite my tongue. Forgot to add that we had a mini-break up in August 2013, a month before I was going off to uni. She was the one to initiate it, I asked if it was because I would be staying in halls around girls etc but she didn't say that was the reason. Just that we had 'drifted apart'. Throughout September we still acted as boyfriend/girlfriend and still had sex, even though we weren't in an 'official' relationship anymore. Anyway in October she came to uni and we went on a night out and had sex again, then a few days later she said she wanted to be back with me so we went back in a relationship.
MrMeh Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 What would be any point on saying anything to her? You both agreed to end it as soon as possible to avoid any problems. Keep this up. The only suggestion I could add is to delete her on FB.
Author brianfantana Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 I'm not going to delete her on FB without letting her know, I'm gonna wait til she asks me about the other social networks or if I see she has deleted/unfollowed me too.
Chi townD Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 You made the choice to break up with her. Therefore, you made the choice to have her out of your life. She is not your friend even if you believe that she is. I'm sure that neither of you entered into a loving and caring relationship with each other for the end result is that you're nothing more than "really good friends" Can friends happen? Yep! But, ONLY when all romantic feeling for each other have faded and she looks at you with nothing but indifference. Then, you can explore a friendship. But, you wanting to contact her in a month say that you still love her......that's cruel and confusing. You'll screw up all the healing that she's made to try and get over you. Leave her alone.
Author brianfantana Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 I feel that if I leave her alone though she'll think I have found a better life at uni and don't need her anymore, when really I think about her everyday and want to be together but it's near impossible to have a healthy relationship with these restrictions.
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