They give their phone #, talk to you, but never have time for you

[irc333]

Of course the topic says it all, but when it comes to dating, every time a I meet a woman..and usually this is with real life, face-to-face encounters, not online dating, only because a woman can simply ignore you online, but in person, they're stuck giving you their phone # and when you call them, they either just like a "talking buddy" or just never return your call, or they when, on the phone, you ask about getting together, there's always something she's busy with or something comes up.

 

In real life, that's usually been the case with me. They put on a show, act enthusiastic, but 90% they never follow through with an actual first date.

 

Gentleman, how many women do you know of that actually just point blanked turned you down saying, face-to-face, "Sorry, not interested" vs. giving you their phone # and leading you down that road?

 

It rarely happens, I am assuming it's because they are deathly afraid to do it to your face?

 

I think I recall an hour long conversation with a woman that at the end of the conversation, on the phone, I was pretty confident I had a date in the bag, but when I asked her, she said, "Hm, I'll have to see what I have going on that weekend, I'll let you know". And that's that, you never hear from her again, or if you call her again later in the week, the call gets ignored or she said, "Something came up, she can't get together".

 

Any explanation for this? I recall, back before the internet, the tons of little pieces of papers with women's phone #'s I had where they never returned my calls. lol

[Eau Claire]

How could anyone comment unless they were part of the conversation? Could be a million things.

[sagetalk]

Following through is how you know they like you. Words are just words, following through has weight behind it. I wouldn't waste a second more thinking about it.

[nerd]

If I get a number from a cold approach (meaning I'm not likely to see them again by chance), I don't chit-chat on the phone or via text. I use it to set up an in-person date. If they don't agree or otherwise waffle, I try again later in a few days, then delete their number. Or just delete their number without trying again, depends on how things went. I used to just hang around trying to be their friend while wanting sex and/or romance, but now I see that as a waste of time and emotional energy. No more.

[WP4046]

Of course the topic says it all, but when it comes to dating, every time a I meet a woman..and usually this is with real life, face-to-face encounters, not online dating, only because a woman can simply ignore you online, but in person, they're stuck giving you their phone # and when you call them, they either just like a "talking buddy" or just never return your call, or they when, on the phone, you ask about getting together, there's always something she's busy with or something comes up.

 

In real life, that's usually been the case with me. They put on a show, act enthusiastic, but 90% they never follow through with an actual first date.

 

Gentleman, how many women do you know of that actually just point blanked turned you down saying, face-to-face, "Sorry, not interested" vs. giving you their phone # and leading you down that road?

 

It rarely happens, I am assuming it's because they are deathly afraid to do it to your face?

 

I think I recall an hour long conversation with a woman that at the end of the conversation, on the phone, I was pretty confident I had a date in the bag, but when I asked her, she said, "Hm, I'll have to see what I have going on that weekend, I'll let you know". And that's that, you never hear from her again, or if you call her again later in the week, the call gets ignored or she said, "Something came up, she can't get together".

 

Any explanation for this? I recall, back before the internet, the tons of little pieces of papers with women's phone #'s I had where they never returned my calls. lol

 

Maybe you are not the only getting the number and she has cancelled you out without being aware because of the high number of guys who have her number.

 

Sometimes it just happens like that when lots of people are calling the same number

[nescafe1982]

I don't know what's the actual story with your experiences, OP. But I will say that some small part of me would freeze right at that moment of a man calling me, or when he asks me out (on OLD). Like it's decision time... and I suddenly get scared.

 

My tendency to do this on OLD pushed more than a couple dudes away... making them feel rejected, I'm sure. And a couple times I got angry accusations that i was leading them on.

 

All of that is to say, the more you can do to make this moment of potential panic, this "tipping point" more comfortable for the woman... the better. I would avoid needing long, drawn out periods of talking on the phone or texting... those types of communication can be sort of exhausting and sometimes scary. I hate talking on the phone, personally... and with someone I don't know well? Forget it!

 

I agree with other posters that the objective is to get to the in-person meeting as quickly as you can, while making her feel comfortable about the decision.

 

Assume nothing... don't assume she knows which of the 4 guys she's talking to is you. Say "hi, it's IRC, from the other day when we <did X.> I How are you? I was just wondering if you were free to grab a coffee, etc." Ask lightly and quickly. You're more likely to get a yes if you move fast.

 

And if they suddenly can't meet you? Then you know you're likely going to be led on. Lose those numbers.

[MissBee]

Of course the topic says it all, but when it comes to dating, every time a I meet a woman..and usually this is with real life, face-to-face encounters, not online dating, only because a woman can simply ignore you online, but in person, they're stuck giving you their phone # and when you call them, they either just like a "talking buddy" or just never return your call, or they when, on the phone, you ask about getting together, there's always something she's busy with or something comes up.

 

In real life, that's usually been the case with me. They put on a show, act enthusiastic, but 90% they never follow through with an actual first date.

 

Gentleman, how many women do you know of that actually just point blanked turned you down saying, face-to-face, "Sorry, not interested" vs. giving you their phone # and leading you down that road?

 

It rarely happens, I am assuming it's because they are deathly afraid to do it to your face?

 

I think I recall an hour long conversation with a woman that at the end of the conversation, on the phone, I was pretty confident I had a date in the bag, but when I asked her, she said, "Hm, I'll have to see what I have going on that weekend, I'll let you know". And that's that, you never hear from her again, or if you call her again later in the week, the call gets ignored or she said, "Something came up, she can't get together".

 

Any explanation for this? I recall, back before the internet, the tons of little pieces of papers with women's phone #'s I had where they never returned my calls. lol

 

You already said the explanation in your own post.

 

Sometimes a woman may feel awkward about turning you down in person so feels "stuck" giving you her number and maybe she just likes you as a talking buddy and doesn't mind chatting but isn't interested in more so when you try for more, like a date, she backs out of it.

 

You explained it all in your own post lol. Not sure what further explanation there is. Your own answer is pretty spot on.

[ponchsox]

If they are into you, they will make time for you, period.

[Revolver]

I've gotten some numbers in my life it just never turned into anything sexual

 

They always flaked or it turned into a FZ situation or one time I got a date and she never responded back so I just stopped altogether

Edited January 10, 2014 by Revolver