headinthecloud Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I got nearly the same speech word for word after almost 3 years together. She's 33 and needs to "grow in to herself some more" her exact words. That was 6 months ago. Been hard NC for 2 months. I don't get it either and I know she didn't leave me for someone else...just the opportunity for someone else is what I think. It's a sign of immaturity. We had a great relationship, very compatible, normal arguments, and I was willing to go all the way. Live and learn. I respectfully disagree with organizedchaos, I don't think it's a sign of immaturity when someone leaves a RS to find themselves. Sometimes we hit a moral crossroads in our lives and we start to question ourselves and everyone who we love. It could be she's just realized that she's not where she thought she would be at her age. The sad thing is she chose to deal with this on her own and not share her struggles with you. Maybe she has low self-esteem and wants you to be happy and thinks she is making (or will make you) unhappy. Who knows. But the reality is that she let you go and chose to abandon your RS. It's a harsh one to face but you're living it nonetheless. She has told you to move on without her while she does the same. And I'm sorry this has happened, it's awful. Definitely start NC and start your healing process. It will take months to let go of the hope of what could have been but in time you will. Even if she does find herself, it doesn't mean that she will necessarily want you back then so don't hold onto to that idea. My heart hurts for you because this is so unfair. You didn't deserve this but you will get through it. 1
somedude81 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Say it like that, and it won't get you into trouble. No. This seems far too common to use the word "some."
pickflicker Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 (edited) No. This seems far too common to use the word "some." OP, not all women act like this. It takes a few goes to get it right. The important thing is now, to move on and get yourself ready to date someone else. If she's not in it for the long haul, breaking up with you was the right thing to do. Edited January 8, 2014 by pickflicker 1
Kopite Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 The "I need space/time" line is very common but I disagree that it means 100% they found someone else. I know more than a few people who said it to their partners and a month or two after they broke up, are still alone. There was no 3rd party involved. However, there is definitely a change in their life that causes this, whether it signifies a crisis, or it means they are just getting cold feet because they were afraid of getting attached. Sometimes, it's just a completely different reason (death in the family, etc)
btvdts Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Yea man hate to say it but it sounds like there's another dude. Why I say that? Unless you are the most boring person in the world, why would a girl leave a guy that is good to her? Because she is comparing what she has now with you with what she may or already has with someone new. mine did the se thing. You know what I didn't do? I didn't keep in contact, no social media. look read everywhere and it will tellYou to cut all contact Bc if you don't, you are going to see something that you won't be ready for it. NC dude.. Right away!
organizedchaos Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 (edited) I respectfully disagree with organizedchaos, I don't think it's a sign of immaturity when someone leaves a RS to find themselves. Sometimes we hit a moral crossroads in our lives and we start to question ourselves and everyone who we love. It could be she's just realized that she's not where she thought she would be at her age. The sad thing is she chose to deal with this on her own and not share her struggles with you. Maybe she has low self-esteem and wants you to be happy and thinks she is making (or will make you) unhappy. Who knows. But the reality is that she let you go and chose to abandon your RS. It's a harsh one to face but you're living it nonetheless. She has told you to move on without her while she does the same. And I'm sorry this has happened, it's awful. Definitely start NC and start your healing process. It will take months to let go of the hope of what could have been but in time you will. Even if she does find herself, it doesn't mean that she will necessarily want you back then so don't hold onto to that idea. My heart hurts for you because this is so unfair. You didn't deserve this but you will get through it. Thanks for that. Some very good points. And that's why I struggled because she didn't talk to me about it. She just chosen to abandon a good thing. And I'm not waiting and told her I wouldn't. I'm dating again somif she ever didncome around again, it may be too late anyway. Edited January 8, 2014 by organizedchaos
Runnersx Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 +1 theres another dude. Girls never jump ship without a life jacket. I found out through social media my girlfriend met up alone with her ex. Went to confront her and she said the same crap, dumped me, then went on social media to call me every awful name under the sun. I immediately went NC. Weeks later, she's liking my photos on instagram. I didn't acknowledge at all. She goes on social media again calling me every name under the sun, making up false stories. Found out her ex isn't committing and she's still single on dating sites. Don't ever let yourself be someone's option while you treat them as a priority. Have self-respect. You deserve better. There ARE other girls out there. Trust me. 1
Fangorn Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 +1 theres another dude. Girls never jump ship without a life jacket. I like this analogy and I'd like to add that often guys will simply have to learn how to swim instead.
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