grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Hi guys! this is the emotional pit that I am in right now, my Gf (ex) just left me back in the december (she is currently working in a cruise ship), the sad thing was 1 week after the breakup she had this relationship with another guy on the ship (one of her workmates) to make things even worse, its just been a week since they have known each other that my ex started to sleep and practically live together with the guy, she was the talk of the town for a brief time on that ship because one week she was campaigning for my denied application to work on the same ship, and then the next week they heard she broke up with me and now seeing the guy, I should've seen all the writings on the wall, there are a lot of signs of this happening, my sister even confessed just now that she told her way back in 2010 that "Why does it appear that I'm not happy anymore, but I really really love him (referring to me). Well we have not been the best couple, but we stick to each other like glue whenever we have a chance together. In 4 months she will be coming home, but she said something like this to her mom "I'm afraid that if I go home, he (myself) will do something to me." And kept telling me when I still am begging for her to come home "Move on, Im not the right girl for you, I didn't expect this to happen myself." My question is, I really just view this as a test of fate for the two of us, this has happened before wherein I got myself a girlfriend and she did get hers too but I immediately got her back when I realized I dont wanna lose her. Right now, I'm in NC after telling her that I will let her realize her own mistakes and if she decided to come to her real home I would welcome her with open arms,and I deleted her from FB which she didn't do in the first place. Any thoughts from you guys would be much appreciated, what do you think about the situation and what will I need to do, I'm not giving up on her because I know the juice is worth the squeeze.
Author grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 oh and yes, I have discovered about gigs reading around this forum and I definitely know she is experiencing that syndrome
soccerrprp Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Time to move on and not post about your ex. Let's talk about the next loyal gf you find. 1
Philosoraptor Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 It's not a test of fate and it's not GIGS. She wanted out of the relationship which is why she confessed not being happy to your sister years ago. Right now she's rebounding in order to help her deal with her emotions. You need to take care of yourself and not expect anything out of this. Fill your life with other joys, spend time with friends and family, immerse yourself in hobbies, and allow yourself to move on from this relationship. False hope you're giving yourself about her coming back is going to do nothing but cause you more pain. 2
Author grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 Oh no, sir you got what Im feeling the wrong way, let me explain, you know what in the first few years of our relationship, she is the one like this, I got eyes to on women, and I did something behind her back, she holds on to me, and waited for me to straighten up my life, I eventually did and she sticked to me through thick and thin, and I have nothing but love for her eversince. I just thought of whatever is happening right now is maybe my turn to make all that sacrifices just for her, and I really do believe that this is fate teaching us/myself to appreciate each other when the time comes that we see each other again.
Jesseklaver Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I understand your pain bro. It must be difficult after 8 years! However, I cannot understand why you would want to go back to your ex if she slept with someone else so fast after the breakup? It says something about her feelings for you and her integrity. Please move on and find yourself someone who really wants to be with nobody else than you. The upcoming period will probably hurt, but man up and roll with the punches. Stay in NC my friend and focus on your own life.
Author grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 because sir, true love is once in a lifetime, and if this the price to pay for not showing her the love all the time (this is her biggest complain towards me, not sending a text or message while she was away) I would deal with it, and I think we will come as a better couple when this is all over. Ps. Let's say for example today is something like in the future that we're back together again, if you kind sirs will ask me if I wanna go through this again, then I would definitely say yes in a heartbeat, the reason being, I would not have seen my errors if this wouldn't have happened, and lets say this didn't happen, I would continue to be the emotionless guy to her, which is gonna be wrong.
David87 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Oh no, sir you got what Im feeling the wrong way, let me explain, you know what in the first few years of our relationship, she is the one like this, I got eyes to on women, and I did something behind her back, she holds on to me, and waited for me to straighten up my life, I eventually did and she sticked to me through thick and thin, and I have nothing but love for her eversince. I just thought of whatever is happening right now is maybe my turn to make all that sacrifices just for her, and I really do believe that this is fate teaching us/myself to appreciate each other when the time comes that we see each other again. You can make all the sacrifices you want, she won't come back to you. Sorry but this is the sad truth.
Author grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 I know but I will take every shot I get, I wouldn't be like this if there aren't any rumors that the guy is married/has a gf somewhere, they just met in a ship far away from me that is why I couldn't do anything about this right now.
mantlefan Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 It's not down the drain. I know it feels like it. I want it to be true for me sometimes, because then I can feel better about feeling this terrible, like I deserve to be sad. But in that time, you will realize you learned a lot. You will see things from a new perspective. You will realize so many things that were signs that it was going south. You will at first regret not seeing those for what they were at the time, but then you will realize that a lot of it you never would have seen, and that it's not your fault. I don't know how to go forward sometimes, but I keep going that way as far as I can tell. It might not be a straight line, but you'll get it right someday.
David87 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 because sir, true love is once in a lifetime, and if this the price to pay for not showing her the love all the time (this is her biggest complain towards me, not sending a text or message while she was away) I would deal with it, and I think we will come as a better couple when this is all over. Ps. Let's say for example today is something like in the future that we're back together again, if you kind sirs will ask me if I wanna go through this again, then I would definitely say yes in a heartbeat, the reason being, I would not have seen my errors if this wouldn't have happened, and lets say this didn't happen, I would continue to be the emotionless guy to her, which is gonna be wrong. This isn't true love, she found someone else and fast, if she loved you she wouldn't have don this trust me. 2
Author grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 I can understand where you are coming from sir, but the colleagues that I asked, using a different name (under the name that colleague trusts) says she might just been clouded with sadness and loneliness, thats why she did something like that, (as ive mentioned, my application got denied on the ship and she was excitedly looking forward to it) and she's does not even have close friends there to begin with, technically, she didn't cheat on me coz she broke up with me before they start seeing each other.
David87 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I can understand where you are coming from sir, but the colleagues that I asked, using a different name (under the name that colleague trusts) says she might just been clouded with sadness and loneliness, thats why she did something like that, (as ive mentioned, my application got denied on the ship and she was excitedly looking forward to it) and she's does not even have close friends there to begin with, technically, she didn't cheat on me coz she broke up with me before they start seeing each other. Yes I know, but I havent slept whit no one since my BU that happened a month ago ,because I still love my ex. She hooked up with a guy 1,5 weeks after the BU and she slept with him. (Bi**h, Sl*t, Goold digger)
Author grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 I do understand sir, but isn't that a sign of gigs? she wants to experiences something that she couldn't do with me.... she's 26 btw and Im the same age as her
David87 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I do understand sir, but isn't that a sign of gigs? she wants to experiences something that she couldn't do with me.... she's 26 btw and Im the same age as her GIGS usually occures under the age of 25. Your ex is 26 at that age she should know what she wants in life.
Author grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 as ive said sir we got together when we were 18, i think she still doesnt know what she wants in life, she doesnt want to be working on the ship to begin with, just being pressured to by relatives.
Chi townD Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Oh no, sir you got what Im feeling the wrong way, let me explain, you know what in the first few years of our relationship, she is the one like this, I got eyes to on women, and I did something behind her back, she holds on to me, and waited for me to straighten up my life, I eventually did and she sticked to me through thick and thin, and I have nothing but love for her eversince. I just thought of whatever is happening right now is maybe my turn to make all that sacrifices just for her, and I really do believe that this is fate teaching us/myself to appreciate each other when the time comes that we see each other again. Wow, sorry dude. But, that is the most pathetic thing I've ever read. And you might get mad at me for saying that. But, you would be getting mad at the wrong person. To me, that sounds like you're going to put your life on hold and waiting for her like a good little lab dog hoping that his master might show him a little attention. Or you could send her a letter with a box of condoms saying that you'll always wait for her to come to her senses, but until then; keep it safe. Dude, she did you wrong three ways to Sunday. She had an exist affair on you. And to be honest with you? She's expected back in four months but as already expressed concern about seeing you and "what you would do". Well, that's her coming up with excuses NOT to come home. She planting a seed into peoples minds back home right now that she won't be coming home and using you and your relationship as a scapegoat. Time to move on, dude. Get a job that will take you out of the town you're living in and give you a fresh start. If you're interested in hotel and hospitality, then you don't have to do cruise ships. There are so many resorts all around the world that you could work at. That would be awesome! Getting a job and working in paradise. Time to let go, dude.
Philosoraptor Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I do understand sir, but isn't that a sign of gigs? she wants to experiences something that she couldn't do with me.... she's 26 btw and Im the same age as her Look GIGS is not a medical term and is used for a pattern of behavior. Someone who truly loves, respects, and wants to be with you does not succumb to temptation. What you're doing right now is what many dumpees do which is trying to grasp onto any hope you can. Test of fate... gigs... just ways right now you're using to avoid looking the breakup in the eye and dealing with it. It's understandable that you're doing so, but it's just going to hold you back from moving on.
organizedchaos Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 GIGS usually occures under the age of 25. Your ex is 26 at that age she should know what she wants in life. GIGS can happen at any age. My ex is 33.
Author grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 Some of her friends gave me advice that well, I cant do anything about it, coz of the distance we have, but once she gets back, there is a big hope that she would come back to her senses,(every people that have been witnesses to our relationship couldn't believe this happened, but I kept on telling them that everything happens for a reason) and for you guys who would be skeptics about what I am going to do, its ok, I guess everybody can think of it that way, but I know her better than this, and she might just be caught with the "spur of the moment" thing thats why she said things that maybe she wouldn't mean in the internet world.
GorillaTheater Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 because sir, true love is once in a lifetime This is one of those beliefs that you're going to look back on years from now with a huge mental facepalm: "how in the hell was I silly enough to believe that??" 2
Author grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 This is one of those beliefs that you're going to look back on years from now with a huge mental facepalm: "how in the hell was I silly enough to believe that??" Sir I have been with many women (43) to be exact to know what true love may mean, and yes Im not gonna look back and laugh about this, as a matter of fact 10,20,30 years from now Im gonna regret this if I dont do something about it, this has happened before to us, (I am the one who suddenly had a girlfriend that time that hurt her like hell) I eventually realized my mistakes and vows not to do it again, maybe this time, she will be the one to realize her mistakes.
David87 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Sir I have been with many women (43) to be exact to know what true love may mean, and yes Im not gonna look back and laugh about this, as a matter of fact 10,20,30 years from now Im gonna regret this if I dont do something about it, this has happened before to us, (I am the one who suddenly had a girlfriend that time that hurt her like hell) I eventually realized my mistakes and vows not to do it again, maybe this time, she will be the one to realize her mistakes. I hope you are right and I will like to see a different case once in awhile. On this forum I saw that exes rarely come back or regret their decision.
Author grecko26 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 I hope you are right and I will like to see a different case once in awhile. On this forum I saw that exes rarely come back or regret their decision. Thank you sir, I really do believe she is just in it for the moment, I would have imagined myself saying the same things to her back when I was the one done something that she is doing right now, in your opinion, when will women leave the "cloud 9 feeling of a new relationship" and how long will it take to reach the "realization stage."
flightplan Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 To be honest, I'm not really sure what it is you want from these boards. You've already made up your mind that you're not going to give up on her. So what is it you want? An echo chamber to validate your beliefs? People have given some solid advice, but you're choosing to argue with it, it seems to me, so you can validate your feelings. Do what you want. If you think taking her back after she cheated on you is "true love", then you're in for a rude awakening. But whatever, it's your life, you sound like you have a plan, so go for it. I personally think it's ridiculous, but have at it.
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