livingnightmare Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 When I was in the relationship with my daughters mother, there was a time when she came back with a rug burn on her spine after having a stop over with a group of her girlfriends. At the time I asked how did she get it, and she replied she was dancing and they were messing about on the floor while drunk. I had forgotten all about this as I had allot of other things after being brutally dumped to deal with, so that never came up in my mind till a few days ago. I never thought nothing of it at the time because I trusted her, now this has come to mind it has brought up painful feelings. I'm now thinking she was up to all sorts behind my back, I feel ashamed, embarrassed and hurt that this could be true, that all those arguments all the trying was in vain. What are the chances of her getting a big rug burn on her spine on without her have cheated. This new revelation burns. I know it shouldn't matter as we are long over, but what ever the reason for the strong thoughts in my head lately this has appeared. Dam, I don't think I'l ever know the truth of who the mother of my daughter really is and the extent of the things she done behind my back. It hurts knowing that I seen her as the love of my life, gave her my all the only one I ever slept with, I know drinking effected my recovery, luckily I have CBT next month, I really hope this can set me on a good path. DON'T DRINK IT WILL MESS UP HOW YOU HEAL. Its not nice dealing with it years later 1
Heatemyheart89 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Hello I have had the same feelings/thoughts. But the truth is that is all they are thoughts. They have no purpose in your life. When you are over her. So for now just accept these thoughts will come and go. Remember what I said... she is no good for you anyway. If she did do that was she ever really a good person anyway? I think you should put thoughts into your recovery and the woman who is out there for you. I bet the one who you end up with won't have carpet burns on her :S.Hope you feel better soon.
mantlefan Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Yeah, I was just thinking about this, journaling it all from my personal experience. When my GF of 5 years broke up with me 5 months ago, I thought it was all about her wanting kids and me not knowing. 5 months later, now that I see her with my "friend," and find out from him that she has been after him since only a couple weeks after the BU, it really causes me to reinterpret everything she said and did leading up to and after the BU. I wish I could tell myself it doesn't matter and I could forget about it, but it's so hard to avoid obsessing over the probability that instead of being dumped for kids, I was dumped for my friend. It's worse because once I realized I did want kids, she came up with all these other reasons why she broke up (even though at the time she told me it was all because of kids), not telling me the real reason, my "friend." My "friend" also talked with me a lot about the breakup, never telling me my ex was after him until I see them together 5 months after the BU. I told him all the things that I realized afterwards were mistakes. I was basically giving him tips on how to be good to her! People are going to treat you like crap sometimes. It's not your fault, it's theirs. What we can do now is figure out the best way to be productive and useful, to others, yes, but to ourselves.
Sabrina88 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 My boyfriend left me for my friend he met when we were in a relation.It's been 7 months but still feels like yesterday..I don't know why but i am not able to get over him...i am no longer in touch with my ex bf or that friend...never tried to contact them after i came to know that all this time...my bf was just showing fake love and emotions... Still trying to find answers for all the whys.... I recently got a news that he's getting engaged to my friend in 18 days I don't know what to do... How can someone treat you bad and you still miss that person and love that person like anything....He did really bad with me like 1.He was in long distance relation with me for 2 years and den when we decided to meet each other he was loving towards me till he met my friend and fall for her 2.He didn't broke off with me even though he was clear in his mind that he doesn't love me...he kept talking to me just to get info about my friend as he was not in contact with her directly. 3.He broke off with me without giving me any reason and after 2 weeks hook up with that friend of mine...and now they are getting engaged in 18 days.... I don't know why but i still miss my ex a lot...Can't imagine how someone can pretend to be in love with you ....Please let me know how can i forget him
Author livingnightmare Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 Your right HAMH, she does not deserve all I have to give she messed up big time. I hope this will come back to haunt her deep down inside her, cant see anyone else putting up with her BS. Mantlefan, I agree and the more I'm thinking of it, it is her fault and her problem I am growing from this. Onwards and upwards. I wish I knew Sabrina, Its horrible pining for someone who can hurt you. You just got to keep taking one day at a time and aim to work on yourself. Well I remembered my exs old FB account (its not been used since the split I hacked it and changed the password, but never looked into it) I just checked it out, to see her msgs to others. Looks like she was chasing who ever she could get her hands on. I see blokes saying I lost my phone here's my number, I miss you etc. Her changing the ending of me and her to friends and family calling me a psycho, all sorts of horrible names. Her saying to her friend how he cant take it I'm sleeping with others.... Im like wtf 6 yrs and Im suppose to be happy about it? all the badness she done behind my back, the disrespect, the lack of acknowledging my feelings But you know what..... This has hardened me, I am worth more than a manky skanky hoe, this has made me feel how can I waste any more time thinking about this trollop of a slut. It has given me some answers, it has changed everything at the moment, I do hope the bad thoughts days are coming to an end, just wish I had a friends with benefits for the company and sexual needs, I only been with my ex and I'm 34, it does bother me 2bh. If I could rid that I'd have a better chance, need to develop some approach skills as I have non lol Im gonna do whatever it takes to get in shape for this summer and go on the hunt, I done a stint of training 2 yrs ago and started getting the looks all the time, but never acted on it, this must change..... lock your wives, girlfriends and adult daughters up Birmingham, I'm on route! It does annoy me that in order to have more luck you have to work out as your still the same person. I had a great natural physique when I met my ex, but all the problems weakened me. I will never let that happen again. Onwards and Upwards from now on I say.
Author livingnightmare Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 I think as time went on, I was hoping she may have regreted how she ended it and all she put me through in and after the relationship, I guess something inside of me wanted her to come back and love me like never before, making up for all the things she done..................... Then I just f***ing woke up! How the F can I have given her so much for nothing but betrayal, abuse in return. This has been a trying time in my life, the worst of trying times been made so much harder by having a child with her, I really feel ashamed of myself for trusting her and having a child with her, but I got a beautiful child and I would put myself through this pain again if I had to for the love of my daughter. Life would be so much easier if we didn't have this connection. Hopefully my family will continue to be a go between until I'm fully over every feeling and become indifferent. And to think this day 8 years ago I watched my daughter born, I watched her mother bleeding non stop and rushed for emergency surgery. The feelings of gaining a daughter and loosing my partner were so intense. Many things I was there for in every way as support, rock solid support never wavering. And this is the thanks I get. There has to be someone waiting out there for me to find. I got to much to give than sit in sorrow.... doesn't change the fact my social life is dead and have very few female friends or any friends who know single females... Need a way of getting out there, but clueless on how to go about it, neglected socializing all these years to be the family man, the urge to get out there and have fun is burning me up. Waisted to much time with a heavy heart... for nothing.
Recommended Posts