How many OW and MM still seeing after DDay specially after OW exposed the A.

[nicepuzzle]

Just curious, if MM never accepts the A to wife and his OW exposed the A. Do they still come back?

[Realist3]

From the people I have known where this happened it is a total deal breaker. It is a violation of the A pact.

[Cocochai]

No once the OW exposes the A to the BS thats a deal breaker for the MM and if your threnthing to expose it.

 

That's why if you truly want it to be over.., doing this may help unless they are crazy or don't care about the M anymore.

[nicepuzzle]

I was sick and tired of the selfish MM. And now doing great. Wish I could end it better way. But it looks like there is not a good way of ending an A. it always have to end bad to end it.

[violet1]

Just curious, if MM never accepts the A to wife and his OW exposed the A. Do they still come back?

 

Interesting...I have never heard of the MM going back to the OW if she exposed the affair. It's considered a huge deal breaker for a cheater. I know if my exMOM had ever threatened or exposed our affair, it would have been completely done and I would never spoken to him. As it sits now, he and I are still platonic friends.

[Cocochai]

I was sick and tired of the selfish MM. And now doing great. Wish I could end it better way. But it looks like there is not a good way of ending an A. it always have to end bad to end it.

 

Feelings get hurt when your dealing with a person who won't commit to only you... It's even worst when your in love w/ a MM who CANT commit to you.

 

But YOU know this when you decide to go along w/ an A even after you discover they are M. Leave the BS alone... She didn't ask to be hurt by you all because you choose to be selfish with the MM.

 

I've had it done to me even tho I wasn't in a M but the feeling of another Woman telling you she's been with your man that your also in love with isn't not the way to do it.

 

I hope you find peace within just doing NC and simply walk away..

[10yrs]

I told the BS (unmarried btw) twice, causing two ddays. Last one was over 6yrs ago. No point in me mentioning it again as it doesn't seem to matter to her. Yeah she gets upset for a few days, but then if she thinks he is seeing me she takes him back. Does she know we still see each other? He says No.

 

I often wonder is someone else told him he was seeing me, like if we were seen out, or if she herself caught us, would it make a difference. I'm thinking probably not, as she always takes him back in the past.

 

Yes I know you will all think I'm an idiot for still seeing him, but felt like replying to this one.

 

Editing to add: Yes, MM (not married tho) got EXTREMELY mad at me both times I let the cat out of the bag. Once he didn't see me for a few months, the next time 1.5yrs.

Edited January 7, 2014 by 10yrs

[nicepuzzle]

Feelings get hurt when your dealing with a person who won't commit to only you... It's even worst when your in love w/ a MM who CANT commit to you.

 

But YOU know this when you decide to go along w/ an A even after you discover they are M. Leave the BS alone... She didn't ask to be hurt by you all because you choose to be selfish with the MM.

 

I've had it done to me even tho I wasn't in a M but the feeling of another Woman telling you she's been with your man that your also in love with isn't not the way to do it.

 

I hope you find peace within just doing NC and simply walk away..

 

I agree but she wasnt innocent either. She has baggage of her own bad deeds and illigimate child. I asked him to do a closure but he shuts down after disturbing my life after 6 years of NC. He lies, sc**** and when I got emotional and questioned him shut down. Plus I was close to his family so I did see him on family occasions where he flirted and constantly demonstrated emotions. All games and they had to end for my own good. I begged him to stop me from telling her but he didnt bother. It looks like he wanted me to deal alone with aftermath. Why should I pay for his selfish deeds. This time he will pay too and he willl do aftermath. I am not a discardable object who is used, abused and discarded. Plus i have no desire to see him ever in any way. Revenge is bad but what choice he left. You should read my other thread about this selfish man.

[imperfectangel]

what does her having a child have to do with your having a affair with her h?!

 

don't be bitter.

 

if you want to expose it then do it but don't think you'll get away with it either who's to say who'll she will tell; you're parents, friends etc people are very judgemental of affairs

[nicepuzzle]

what does her having a child have to do with your having a affair with her h?!

 

don't be bitter.

 

if you want to expose it then do it but don't think you'll get away with it either who's to say who'll she will tell; you're parents, friends etc people are very judgemental of affairs

 

He trapped by telling his wife story and always maintained strict compartments leading me on. It wasnt my business until he used it. They cant tell anyone. Have too much to hide. I was just a victim who felt way better after gving him back what he deserved. He will have to live with all his life now. The way I am struggling, he will struggle too. I go through down times but some people take other people's life for granted and use them. Sorry she became part of it, but my target was him.

[imperfectangel]

I really don't understand your post, I'm sorry

[wanting more]

He trapped by telling his wife story and always maintained strict compartments leading me on. It wasnt my business until he used it. They cant tell anyone. Have too much to hide. I was just a victim who felt way better after gving him back what he deserved. He will have to live with all his life now. The way I am struggling, he will struggle too. I go through down times but some people take other people's life for granted and use them. Sorry she became part of it, but my target was him.

 

Did you know he was married when the A started??

[GreySkyMorning]

Just curious, if MM never accepts the A to wife and his OW exposed the A. Do they still come back?

 

Yes.

 

My xmm's wife was informed by a phone call from a friend of mine. I had nothing to do with it and didn't know it was happening. He immediately tossed me under the bus and treated me like trash. So, when the wife left me a message a couple weeks later wanting the truth, I thought about it for a couple weeks and then messaged her back with the entire story.

 

His "leave me alone" lasted less than a month and he was back. We aren't the couple we used to be. Those feelings aren't returning for either of us, especially me. He hurt me too much when it ended and afterwards. There's no way he could ever make it up again. We ended up having sex a couple of times in July, but today, we're just "friends". We communicate by text and a phone call every few months. We haven't seen each other in person since July.

 

Thing is, he'd be more than willing to go back to a physical relationship. I can't do it anymore. He was texting me the other day and started sexting me. I didn't respond the way I used to and he noticed, said something about it. I told him that without the feelings and love to back it up, its just sex and I don't need that in my life. The emotional relationship is dead.