Author H245 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 So hours later and I'm laying in bed still depressed and shaking for no reason. Could use some love now and encouragement to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Yo, she is a cheater man. She is lying and shifting all the blame onto you. Absolute rubbish that she created this fake conversation. She cheated on you plain and simple. What you gotta do, is no contact. You will not get over her if you keep seeing facebook updates and pictures of her, nor will it get any easier if you continue to hang around with her mutual friends. You need a clean break. Sever all ties to her. Make new friends and dont look back! Its all you can do now. She is not worthy of your time and energy. She committed the ultimate sin of betrayal on you. Time to let her go. You deserve to be with people who respect you and really care for you, not the opposite! Link to post Share on other sites
mantlefan Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I thought that having a "real" conversation with my ex would ease my mind and help me move on. For each question that was answered though, another would pop up. Turns out my ex dumped me for my friend and both of them hid it from me for 5 months. Contact is only gonna hurt you more. I understand there is money involved, but whenever possible, ignore anything and everything she does, and avoid putting yourself in a position where you can find out what she is doing. Also, stop prying your friends for information. I abused the friendship and trust of a mutual friend of my ex and I doing this. I would even switch gears completely and tell your friends you want to hear nothing about your ex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I thought that having a "real" conversation with my ex would ease my mind and help me move on. For each question that was answered though, another would pop up. Turns out my ex dumped me for my friend and both of them hid it from me for 5 months. Contact is only gonna hurt you more. I understand there is money involved, but whenever possible, ignore anything and everything she does, and avoid putting yourself in a position where you can find out what she is doing. Also, stop prying your friends for information. I abused the friendship and trust of a mutual friend of my ex and I doing this. I would even switch gears completely and tell your friends you want to hear nothing about your ex. Your friend and your ex are absolute scum. No better then pond life. They are the worst kind of cheaters, the ones who lead double lives for as long as they can until they are caught. Hope you never speak to them again. They are beneath you. Link to post Share on other sites
mantlefan Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 (edited) Your friend and your ex are absolute scum. No better then pond life. They are the worst kind of cheaters, the ones who lead double lives for as long as they can until they are caught. Hope you never speak to them again. They are beneath you. to be fair, I am pretty sure she waited a week after dumping me after 5 years before she really went after him. How noble of her. The best part of it is that both of them claimed they hid it from me because they thought it would "hurt me less." My friend even listened to me and offered me advice on the breakup, and listened to me, in hindsight, realize all the things that I could have done better. He must have gotten some great tips on how to win her heart! Good for him! [/bitter sarcasm] Edited January 11, 2014 by mantlefan Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Yeah, the typical spineless cowardly excuses. Thats just their own way of easing their guilt. And this 'friend' is almost worse than your ex for sitting there giving advice when his intentions were to get with her. Well, your will be a much better place without them in it. They deserve eachother! Keep doing No contact obviously, you owe them no words whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Share Posted January 12, 2014 Yo, she is a cheater man. She is lying and shifting all the blame onto you. Absolute rubbish that she created this fake conversation. She cheated on you plain and simple. What you gotta do, is no contact. You will not get over her if you keep seeing facebook updates and pictures of her, nor will it get any easier if you continue to hang around with her mutual friends. You need a clean break. Sever all ties to her. Make new friends and dont look back! Its all you can do now. She is not worthy of your time and energy. She committed the ultimate sin of betrayal on you. Time to let her go. You deserve to be with people who respect you and really care for you, not the opposite! I agree a clean break is needed. The hardest part is that my ex and I have all the same mutual friends. For example, I went out last night with some friends. My ex was out with some of our mutual friends elsewhere. Those mutual friends wanted to hang out with me but couldn't because my ex was there. They texted me later on when my ex left and we got together. So basically, I would prefer not to lose my friends over this regardless if they are friends with her as well. I find solace in that most of them have taken my side over hers regarding the breakup. I was also told that apparently my ex is no longer leaving the state. After thinking and talking about it with friends, we concluded the leaving the state was all a plot for attention and to make me feel bad. As such, over the last 24 hours, whenever I have been thinking about her, I try to think about and latch onto the things she did to me that were royally messed up. I hope I can keep this up and do not relapse to day 1 status again. My only concern will be when seeing her at our mutual best friends birthday in a month. Hopefully there will be no more drama. I thought that having a "real" conversation with my ex would ease my mind and help me move on. For each question that was answered though, another would pop up. Turns out my ex dumped me for my friend and both of them hid it from me for 5 months. Contact is only gonna hurt you more. I understand there is money involved, but whenever possible, ignore anything and everything she does, and avoid putting yourself in a position where you can find out what she is doing. Also, stop prying your friends for information. I abused the friendship and trust of a mutual friend of my ex and I doing this. I would even switch gears completely and tell your friends you want to hear nothing about your ex. I agree, that talk I had added more questions and did not really answer any. And I do plan to stop asking my friends about her. The really close friends already know she is missing an entire tool set in her head. I will keep this thread updated with any new stuff. Hopefully I get my money back soon Link to post Share on other sites
wildsunandmoon Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Look, don't kick yourself over her actions because she is the one who did wrong. I know what it feels like to put forth all of yourself into a relationship and investing every speck of who you are to make things work. Don't loathe yourself for being brave enough to take chance. If it was rocky to the point where you two have broken up three times, I think this time you should walk away from it. But first thing's first, you need to get that money back. Link to post Share on other sites
spaceboy409 Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 this was one of the main things that caused my relationship to never work out again. sadly I was seeking attention from other girls and I was never trusted again after that, even when I deleted my facebook and didn't respond to even friends that were girls messages. Im in the same boat. I wish I was anywhere but at home stuck in my head... Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 Look, don't kick yourself over her actions because she is the one who did wrong. I know what it feels like to put forth all of yourself into a relationship and investing every speck of who you are to make things work. Don't loathe yourself for being brave enough to take chance. If it was rocky to the point where you two have broken up three times, I think this time you should walk away from it. But first thing's first, you need to get that money back. I agree. I have been trying to not to beat myself over it. I understand and admit that I have my faults of being clingy which causes me to be overbearing. But never did I once do anything so messed up like this. I do not plan to ever get back together with this child because I could never trust her again regardless if she tried moving mountains for me. As for the money...I am beginning to think she doesn't care to pay me back. I will need to press the matter with her every couple of weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 As a quick update, I blocked her from FB tonight finally. It stung but it had to be done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 After 4 days of NC, my ex has reached out that she has a check with the majority of the money she owes me. I really don't want to see her. Should I just tell her to mail it or to give to her friend to give to me? Link to post Share on other sites
mantlefan Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 After 4 days of NC, my ex has reached out that she has a check with the majority of the money she owes me. I really don't want to see her. Should I just tell her to mail it or to give to her friend to give to me? I'd ask her to mail it, with tracking, and she text you the tracking number. Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 I asked her to mail it. I won't lie, I got pretty sad at how cold her text was. Then again, I should know by now that she's completely over me and moved on in the 2 weeks since BU. The rest of the money she said I would get at the end of the month....sigh Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Hey everyone. I have an update on things. I received a check for most of the money owed to me and I got it deposited. The rest will be mailed at the end of the month. Last night I was walking to one of the local bars and as I passed the parking lot across where I live, I saw my ex's car parked. She parked the car close enough so that I could still see it from my bedroom window. So I figured she was at one of the bars in the area. Thankfully not at the one I went to. I did not last long because I felt uncomfortable and went home. I was on my computer in my bedroom talking to a friend online from CA and playing video games until 3am. I saw a car outside my window (same car I saw her in a while back in a previous story). She walked out and went into her car. She drove away, but not before she looked up and stared into my window and we ended up seeing each other. That made me wonder more if her leaving her car where she did was intentional for me to see it. 20 minutes later she texted if deleting her from FB was necessary. She had already been deleted for days. I figure she just noticed. I never responded to her text and will continue to hold firm NC. My friend I was talking to last night thinks she is probably trying to manipulate me into contacting her to maintain control of things and that the text is her wanting to keep tabs on me on FB. Not entirely sure what to really think but it feels like she is acting more and more like a child and not a 25 yr old. Link to post Share on other sites
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