angelstar Posted January 9, 2005 Posted January 9, 2005 Hi, never been on a forum like this so be gentle. I guess I need to talk about how i'm feeling. My family and friends all know that me and my ex are over. Last week infact I finished it with him. But I feel really lonely and sad in my heart. I'm devasted! What happened with us? I'll try to make it short! We were having a conversation on the phone last week and he's been acting weird lately. I basically put it to him. Do you love me and he said yes I do love you and worry for you very much. I then said to him. Are you inlove with me and he said he wasnt sure. Infact he said he was feeling really down about everything in his life. He said he wanted to take a break and think about what he wants. We've all been here before! So basically knowing this wanting to take a break doesnt work. I just called it a day. We were together 1.5yrs. And engaged to be married. The things is I am still inlove with him. I am so devasted. i moved back to australia about 9 months ago. So we've been having this long distant thing. He's visited twice. We were planning and organising our life together. He was only visiting four weeks ago. Back then we got a place together and all was good. I dont know what has happened. I'm hate myself right now. My self esteem is basically nothingness. I feel empty inside, hurt and betrayed. Now i'm crying : ( The thing is I asked him if he wanted to call it off. He mumbled alot and when i kept pushing i got the answer of yes. Before that happened he said that he didnt want to make any irrational decisions because hes been feeling so low and just give him the space to figure it out. The only problem i got with that was I'm here is OZ and he's on the other side of the world. How much space does he actually want... he's getting plenty from me. I don't know where i'm going with this. It does help to write about it. But that feeling of relief will only last 2 seconds. I guess I don't know where I'm at. I'm just so confused. One minute we're happy and the next we're over. Did i miss something. I love him still and I dont know what to do. Has he been cheating on me. IS there another girl. Maybe he didnt want to hurt me. I just dont know. Its been 4 days since the breakup. He hasnt called me and I havent called him. I so badly want to hold him but he's miles away. Should I have given him the space to think about his life. Surely you know if you love someone right??? I'm a very unhappy little girl right now, angelstar
hurtingandconfused Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 Has he been cheating on me. IS there another girl. It might be another girl. (I truly believe so, but that is my opinion.) How much space does he actually want... he's getting plenty from me. You have to give yourself space. Space to heal, space to love yourself. He hasnt called me and I havent called him. Don't expect him to call, because I believe he won't. One minute we're happy and the next we're over. Did i miss something. I love him still and I dont know what to do. Unfortunately there is nothing you do to get him back. Just know that it was not your fault. And remember ...Keep your head up...
XNemesisX Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 Its only been 4 days, give it some time. I don't think that it would be completely outrageous of an idea to say that you might end up back together. 4 days is nothing, and I don't think you will be able tell if this is really final just yet. Who knows, he may be feeling the same as you right now. You were engaged to be married, I don't think he could quit caring so quickly. You put pressure on him to say that he wanted to end it. He may have thought that was what YOU wanted. It sounds like he hated the long distance. THAT may have been what was really getting him down. Give it some time, I think one of you will end up giving the other a call. It sounds like you both do love eachother. Did you have to move so far away? How long have you been so far apart in distance?
Author angelstar Posted January 10, 2005 Author Posted January 10, 2005 Hey you two. Thanks for replying. Just to give you an update on things. I broke the rule of NO CONTACT and sms him today. Got some news. Since the breakup as you well know. Lots of stuff go on in your mind. Well i've been wanting to volunteer for the Tsunami disaster ever since it happened and have since been offered a place in South india at an orphanage near some of the most effected areas. So i'm getting my vaccinations and visa and heading there a quickly as possible. I sms him to let him know my plans and that i love him. Im getting stuff sorted out for MYSELF and will be on a plane to Chennai soon. I feel heaps better for myself knowing i'm doing something really positive. Respects to the guy who basically thinks he was cheating on me and will probably never phone me again!!!! Well if it happens so be it. I've had a life change and now i hope to help and change other peoples lives. I cant feel this pain anymore. So i'm gona do something about it for me. p.s. i did think about how I will feel when i get back. Who knows? we shall wait and see. p.s.s And yes I did think about the running away from all my problems. This is a no too. I feel good about this. It's lifted my spirits no end. Be good you too. I will keep check up on the message board. This site has been a blessing in disguise. Cheers angelstar
Gottabestrong Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 Dear Angelstar, this is great news. You will get away and you will be doing something really worthwhile with your time. You can be really proud of yourself for volunteering in the orphanage. I wanted to do something similar, but so far financial constraints and obligations keep me back. I am sure this will give you a reality-check and help you put your mind on other things. If he really loves you, he will contact you and come back. If not, you are much better off without him and free to meet the guy who is right for you. All the best, and if you can, keep us posted.
Author angelstar Posted January 10, 2005 Author Posted January 10, 2005 Dear Gottabestrong, Thanks for your thoughts. I'm not really in the best financial position to go either. I'm selling my car So thats gona help with going there. One thing i will say the damage the sea earthquake caused as you know was sooooooooooooo vast. Effected over 7 countries etc etc. You've been reading the papers and watching the news,we all know what i mean. You said you wanna do that as well. Why don't you contact all the charity orgs and see if you can get a posting. You might not be in a position to help now but those people are gonna need help for a very long time. Get stuck in. It will make you feel better too. So whats your story? Go site dont you think. angelstar
iceisles Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Hey Angelstar - I think it's great that you are volunteering. It's really nice to see people coming together from around the world to lend a helping hand, and there is nothing more rewarding than helping someone else. The images coming over from Asia have been absolutely heartbreaking. I recently made a contribution to the Humane Society overseeing some of the most devastated areas there. They are working hard to relocate and save all of the misplaced animals from the disaster. As for the guy, I'm glad you are putting him behind you. I can speak personally to the fact that we can all be jerks sometimes, even when we have the best of intentions.
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