quills82 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I'm new to the forum. Just looking for some advice and help coping. I met this girl on a dating website and we dated for 2 months. When we were together she was constantly texting me, favoriting and winking at me on the dating website, sending me emails, etc... She was talking about me meeting her sister. We moved things really fast in general, had sex on the 2nd date and she was coming on strong with the messaging, and always wanted to spend more time together on our dates. Writing XOXO after her messages to me after the second date. On our last date I was concerned because she stated she wanted to talk to her ex boyfriend again. After our 4th date I noticed she got real distant, wasn't texting me at all. We saw each other on Friday and the date went great, we cooked dinner together. I called her on Monday and asked her out for the weekend and she stated she was going out of town for work and wanted to play things by ear with the holidays coming up. I didn't like that she said play things by ear but I thought don't make a big deal out of anything. I hadn't heard from her all week so I emailed her on Thurs. She emailed me back on Sunday and stated she doesn't see long term potential in us. I thought the email was a disrespectful. I called her and just told her how surprised I was, she seemed so into me, she stated she just got out of a long term relationship and was leading me on. She never even apologized for leading me on. It hurts to think you were spending time with someone and sharing things with a person that you thought were special to find out you were being used. I didn't understand how she didn't see long term potential because we spent all day together on our last couple dates and were laughing and having fun all the time but she did say she was leading me on, she did a damn good job. I guess it hurts the most because I've been on a dating website for 2 years now and I'm looking for a long term relationship and I've been stung by these girls just getting out of long term relationships too many times. She deleted her profile off the dating website which provided some closure but I don't understand myself, I've been used and abused by this girl but if she called me right now and asked me to come over I think I would. I know she is not going to. It's so weird that you want the ones that hurt you the most.
Supes Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I'm very sorry to hear that. I went through something similar. I met a girl online, we hit it off, non stop texting over Christmas, sex on the 2nd date, everything was going fantastic, we had made other plans. It was brilliant. I saw her on a Saturday, text her Sunday - she replied saying she was busy and she'd talk to me tomorrow but when Monday came I got a message from her saying that she's not ready for a relationship and we shouldn't see each other anymore. It made no sense. We were dating, nothing was said about a relationship. I think her friends talked her into it, she often mentioned how they were serial daters where she wasn't. I don't know man. It's tough. It's heartbreaking misery! I can't make any sense of it all. If you makes you feel any better take comfort in the fact that this happens a lot, and all over the world too! I'm in Ireland and the last 8 days of my life have been gut wrenchingly awful due to this.
flightplan Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Classic serial daters. Nothing new... you just got to recognize it as soon as you can. It can be tough, but a classic sign is moving waaayyy too quick. Never get emotionally attached in the beginning with a women who is willing to move that quick. Learn to live and let live. A lot of these women have been dumped themselves and they're in no mood to get right back into a long term relationship. Move on and consider it a lesson learned.
rosedl Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Slow it down. It takes time to get to know someone. A lot of people go on dating sites after a break up (or even before they are fully broken up), and they are in no way ready to start a new relationship. I went on when my boyfriend broke up with me, but I didn't correspond with anyone nor did I meet anyone in person. I really wasn't ready, so I took my profile down. The only good thing that came from doing it was that it showed me there were lots of other possibilities, I had a good number of men contacting me but I dropped off because I just wasn't ready.
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