CautiousLoops Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I've become close with a friend over the past year or so. She went through a bad break up and we got closer because while some of her friends chose sides, I did not. I do really enjoy her and we hang out on a regular basis. My problem is - she wants to be on constant, and I mean CONSTANT, contact. I am married, have hobbies and a full time job. I am also someone who needs downtime on a regular basis, meaning away from my phone. Ive never been the person to check FB, instragram and text every 2 minutes. I just don't care. Id rather live life unplugged. I know we are not all the same. She texts me first thing in the morning, daily. Usually "whats up?". It has become something I dread. I know she hates when people don't respond to text messaging so I always usually respond (sometimes up to an hour later), just to avoid the "where are you?" text (which is ridiculous). I hate having to always be available. I know I have made her this way by always giving her what she wants but now I am starting to resent her and don't enjoy talking to her anymore. Ive told her I don't always have my phone, that I don't always want to talk. She calls me rude if I don't respond at all (recently I really just have not wanted to talk to her - & its never anything important anyway). She will text me all day every day if I let her and then ask me to hang out 4 days a week. I am running out of ways to deal, especially because I am at that point where I feel uncomfortable and am starting to dislike her and her neediness. I will text her one word answers, tell her Im busy, etc. and she will say "ok get at me later!" - WHY. We have nothing to talk about and Im not going to make idle chit chat just do to so. If I don't get back to her she will text me a few hours later "how are you?". Come on. Its too much. I know she is just bored and that she is just trying to be friendly and has probably NO idea how frustrating it is for me but this has to stop. I want to and should be able to do what I want and I don't want to have to explain WHY I didn't text back in an hour or WHERE I am or WHY I don't want to hang out. My phone is for MY convenience, not hers or anyone else's! Anyone go through this? How can I talk to her without hurting her feelings (I know its probably not possible - but I need to break the cycle). She just texted me a picture of her shopping. So far I have ignored it but I know I will get the "did you get my pic?" text soon…..
darkmoon Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I have had similar probs with bored phoners, some get it while others, with no ambition, just expect to natter block her on your phone - she will go straight to voicemail, so it does not look like a snub get a mobile just for her to contact you on she sounds bossy actually - "rude"?? "so leave me alone if I am that horrible" would be my response
preraph Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Tell her flat out to quit junking up your in box 30 times a day! Tell her you don't have the time or desire for so many texts and that you don't like someone texting you for no reason. You're going to have to just tell her because she's already rude about it like her needs are more important than yours. And then if she doesn't agree to limit it to, say, only texting when you're making plans, you need to just stop responding entirely or block her. You can tell her, I'm blocking you because I don't have time for this. I'll call you when I have time and have something to talk about!~
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