How to Forgive Yoursefl after an Emotional Breakdown

[Bishop556]

I have been undergoing terrible depression during the last few months due to past trauma. One night, I had an emotional breakdown. I was having a panic attack. I was hitting myself (I do this sometimes when I'm undergoing a panic attack), crying, and my ex was terrified due to my behavior. She broke up with me the next morning as she was no longer happy in the relationship. We had a wonderful relationship until the last month or so. I treated her wonderfully, I cared for her, supported her, and treated her like a princess. I begged my ex to go to couple counseling with me, and that I would get more therapy, but she denied these requests. She is now off with her next love interest a month after we broke up. How can I learn to forgive myself for losing someone I cared for due to my emotional breakdown? I tried desperately to show her that I would take the necessary steps to ensure that I get well to preserve the relationship. I'm alot more happy and sane as I got help, but I still feel extreme guilt.

Edited January 6, 2014 by Bishop556

[fixing]

Look at yourself in the mirror and learn to love and cherish yourself brother! You suffer from a panic disorder, thats not your fault ffs, and if she cant deal with that then trust me she aint worth your time nor energy.

She wasnt all what she cracked up to be. Simple, your true partner will stand tall with you through thick and thin no matter what. What did she do? She ran off, so **** her and her new partner.

 

Trust me, you will see in months to come that she was nothing but a let down.

 

Be proud of yourself and **** anybody who doesnt want to be with you.

 

You gave her your all, you were perfect to her, and she didnt reciprocate.

 

No contact and stay strong sir.

[AnyaNova]

I have been undergoing terrible depression during the last few months due to past trauma. One night, I had an emotional breakdown. I was having a panic attack. I was hitting myself (I do this sometimes when I'm undergoing a panic attack), crying, and my ex was terrified due to my behavior. She broke up with me the next morning as she was no longer happy in the relationship. We had a wonderful relationship until the last month or so. I treated her wonderfully, I cared for her, supported her, and treated her like a princess. I begged my ex to go to couple counseling with me, and that I would get more therapy, but she denied these requests. She is now off with her next love interest a month after we broke up. How can I learn to forgive myself for losing someone I cared for due to my emotional breakdown? I tried desperately to show her that I would take the necessary steps to ensure that I get well to preserve the relationship. I'm alot more happy and sane as I got help, but I still feel extreme guilt.

 

I think Fixing has some great points.

 

1) I think that first you need to know that that night you were doing your absolute best with what you had.

 

If she had any brain cells, she would probably realize that such extreme panic probably causes you to feel like lashing ou like a hurt blind animal, and thus, as frightening as the self harm must seen, it is your attempt, I would guess, to protect all those in your vicinity, by turning that impulse inward on yourself.

 

2) You need someone who can stand with you and by you, and understand that the panic disorder in no way defines you. Fixing is right about that!

 

3) the event clearly indicated to you that you had a problem. Congratulate yourself and take credit for doing the difficult work of seeking help and doing that work!

 

4) make sure that you keep doing all those things that make you, you. If you are an athlete, keep that up. Whether it is drawing, hang gliding, miniature making, mud wrestling, piano, whittling, whatever it is, keep making yourself do those. You will always emerge feeling better and more yourself.

 

5) vow to yourself that as soon as a relationship crosses the line into viable for the long term (maybe two Month mark) explain your condition, explain the possibility that you might begin hitting yourself, and why, and give her some ideas of what she can do to help when that happens. The woman for you wi not be freaked out, and will be glad to have the heads up, so it doesn't take her by surprise. This way you can rest assured that she won't head for the hills after beig taken by surprise.

[LostConfused123]

At least you had the courage to want to seek help (couples counseling)

I think that's pretty awesome!!! Good for you!!

 

I was with a man for many years that had depression, maybe bi polar. I'll never know because I begged him to seek help and he wouldn't.

 

The fact that you were willing to work on the issues speaks volumes about your character!

I wish my ex would have had the guts to want to do that.

 

None of this is your fault. She doesn't deserve a real man (which you obviously are) She sounds like a woman child!! Still hurts like a biotch but at least you addressed the issues instead of ignoring them.

 

Best of luck to you!!

((Hugs!!))

[margot13]

I have been undergoing terrible depression during the last few months due to past trauma. One night, I had an emotional breakdown. I was having a panic attack. I was hitting myself (I do this sometimes when I'm undergoing a panic attack), crying, and my ex was terrified due to my behavior. She broke up with me the next morning as she was no longer happy in the relationship. We had a wonderful relationship until the last month or so. I treated her wonderfully, I cared for her, supported her, and treated her like a princess. I begged my ex to go to couple counseling with me, and that I would get more therapy, but she denied these requests. She is now off with her next love interest a month after we broke up. How can I learn to forgive myself for losing someone I cared for due to my emotional breakdown? I tried desperately to show her that I would take the necessary steps to ensure that I get well to preserve the relationship. I'm alot more happy and sane as I got help, but I still feel extreme guilt.

 

 

My ex suffers depression, and I would give anything to be able to help him, but he won't help himself. Loving someone means you take the bad and the good. Do you really want someone in your life that can't support you? She should feel guilty not you!!!!