MalachiX Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I'm a good looking guy. Your attitude stinks, so even if I approached a girl like you, you'd probably keep my interest for all of thirty seconds. Judgemental people make me laugh. Maybe the "ugly" guys think her attitude makes her more "attainable."
MixedUpChick Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 This is why i dont approach women i know what theyre thinking if a guy like me approaches so why waste their time or annoy them? I haven't finished reading this thread but I have 2 initial thoughts on this. 1) Looks are subjective. I participate in an online dating thread on another forum, which is mostly male-dominated. Many of the men there think they're ugly, & they most definitely are not. Granted a lot of those guys are young - 20s and some 30s - and some don't have high self esteem, they're a bit nerdy & introverted. Their problem isn't their looks, in some cases it's just a lack of confidence. 2) Maybe you actually did lose out in the looks department, that doesn't mean you don't deserve or can't find love. Sometimes I have a hard time taking chances in life but I try to follow this simple philosophy: if you don't try, the answer will always be no. If you try, sometimes it will be yes - you have absolutely nothing to lose by putting yourself out there 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Clearly confidence isn't everything but I really do think we underestimate a great many things about attraction and what our society seems to perceive as objectively attractive. ...... I counter your opinion with some objective facts as established by academic experts, and their peer reviewed, published papers in journals. Not opinions, and therefore more valid. Prepare to have your mind blown. This guy is a professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Purdue university. People like him, who are not silly, think about leagues. He will explain to you what they call it Assortative mating. They have noted that people date and mate with people who are of roughly the same status. Those statuses are looks, then demonstrable intelligence, then education, income etc. Big Think Interview With Dan Ariely | Dan Ariely | Big Think A study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition which found that people assortatively mate based on their level of "adiposity"... fatness. Assortative mating for obesity People can point out the one couple they know where a very fit man is with a very fat woman or a very fat man is with a very fit woman and hold on to hope... or they can just find a nice fat man to be happy with. Which is wiser? A study in PLOS One studied height. Guess what it found. PLOS ONE: Are Human Mating Preferences with Respect to Height Reflected in Actual Pairings? In line with mate preferences, we found evidence for: (i) assortative mating (r = .18), (ii) the male-taller norm, and, for the first time, (iii) for the male-not-too-tall norm. Couples where the male partner was shorter, or over 25 cm taller than the female partner, occurred at lower frequency in actual couples than expected by chance, but the magnitude of these effects was modest. We also investigated another preference rule, namely that short women (and tall men) prefer large height differences with their partner, whereas tall women (and short men) prefer small height differences. This article looks at education, not looks. Yet people pick marriage partners of comparable education. Educational Assortative Mating and Economic Inequality: A Comparative Analysis of Three Latin American Countries One can argue about this and point out the one couple where a PhD is with a high school drop out and they are happy. Then hold out hope that Stephen Hawking will sweep them off their feet... or they can just try to find someone of comparable level and be happy.
MalachiX Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I counter your opinion with some objective facts as established by academic experts, and their peer reviewed, published papers in journals. Not opinions, and therefore more valid. Prepare to have your mind blown. LOL. And people tell me that I intellectualize too much... This guy is a professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Purdue university. People like him, who are not silly, think about leagues. So what? Economists will talk forever about class and how the majority of people end up staying in roughly the same socio-economic class they were born in. Nevertheless, we see countless examples of people who manage to rise above their class and we tend to champion them. We say look at the courage it took these people to put themselves out there. Look at how hard they must have had to work and all the skills they must have possessed in order to achieve what they have. Yet, for some reason, if a man (or woman) tries to do the same as far as love or romance is concerned, some people on this board scorn them. I've never been content to live in the somewhat arbitrary boundries the world has set for me. To some extent, I've been gifted with certain opportunities that have helped me out along the way. I'm still not where I'd like to be (as far as my career and romantic life go); but I have come further than a lot of similar people of my background do. There's no one factor that has helped me along but I know that a big part of it was a willingness to put myself out there, take risks, and not give up. An "ugly" guy who is willing to be confident, repeatedly put himself out there, and try to use all the skills he has to meet people beyond the looks he was born with; has a much greater chance of having this pay off than someone who sits at home and mopes on message boards that "these women are out of my league so I'll never even try." You keep wanting to talk of "objective facts." Do the math yourself. How many people rise above their station by not trying? Maybe it's worth it to some people to get striving even if they never make it. They have noted that people date and mate with people who are of roughly the same status. Those statuses are looks, then demonstrable intelligence, then education, income etc. And looks are just one of those elements of status. Intelligence, education, income, are all things that "ugly" guys might have. You may want to also look at the studies on "The Dark Triad" of characteristics (just google it). They are a series of traits that many people think of as "negative" that are shown in men to give them a statistical advantage in dating. It's part of the "why women like jerks" theory. The thing that these characteristics share is confidence and assertiveness. Why wouldn't a guy who is at a disadvantage via his looks take advantage of the help that confidence and assertiveness can give him (not to mention other good attributes like intelligence that he might posses)? 1
mario_C Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 But seriously folks, why are we bringing economics and statistics into this? You either think someone is hot or you don't. And if you think someone is hot, even if your friends or peers disagree, you will pursue that person. You're going to listen to your heart, not some economics professor who never got married because he thinks he can still bang his barely legal students. And certainly not to your friends who are all single because they believe in "stations". Stations and cliques and castes and gangs and affiliations are all the same to me. Just walls meant to keep us apart and divided and in our place. 1
Thegreatestthing Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 If an ugly person wants to hit on someone they can, look at the singer lordes bf She is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen and look what she chose. http://theblot.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/lorde.jpg Same with someone like zuckerberg could have any number of models in the world and chose his wife.
peruano99 Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 I'm attractive and I have no problem approaching women.
hotpotato Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Whenever im out i always see the most unattractive men out there approaching women.Do these guys not own mirrors and know what they look like? What makes them think these women will be attracted to them? It gets really annoying that these dudes have no self awareness one of their buddies has to site them down and say listen your ugly stop annoying these women. It makes no sense when you see cuter guys shy and timid and these ugly dudes are approachoing women brimming with confidence with no reason to be. Ouch lol I do agree that unattractive men tend to be very aggressive. I've known really hot guys who were shy. There are some people who look really good but are very introverted. I can sympathize though. I have gotten flack though for not wanting to advances of elderly, and yes, I do mean elderly men. Sometimes people really should know better. My grandpa is over 70, hunchback, missing front teeth but thinks he should have a hot 20-something year old girl. The things is people have their standards. Everybody wants what is attractive to them. It's much less taboo to want to date someone more attractive than yourself than to say you dont want to date down. Like if I said I didn't want to an old man hitting on me, that's ageist. However, it's not ageist for that man to shun women his own age and chase someone younger. Someone unattractive might hit on attractive people and shun people in their league. Now be an attractive person and say you dont want to date or want the attention of someone unattractive and all hell breaks loose. You're shallow, you should look at what's on the inside, etc. However, the unattractive person hitting on the supermodel is not focusing on what's on the inside. Some people are allowed to be shallow, but others are not.. 1
Revolver Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 What's being conveyed is that attention from unattractive men is an extreme nuisance. Well. It's part of the game really you see. In order to get attention from attractive men, the nuisance is something you have to deal with. Would people rather have ZERO attention from both unattractive and attractive members of the opposite sex? What it seems is that people just want attention from the attractive people. Well, it doesn't work that way. You either get a mix or nothing. 2
Barbarossa Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 One of the most common associations with the word "model" is that this person is assumed to be undoubtedly physically attractive or beautiful...when there are plenty of different types of modeling...hands, legs, feet, wrist models, clothing, and the list goes on and on...so while in many cases this person doesn't fall within average looking it doesn't mean they cannot, and with make-up, hair professionals along with photoshop I'm sure they can make a lot of "improvements" on just about anyone with the right foundation of what they are looking for, so they don't necessarily have to be stunning people in terms of beauty, they can just have the right body type, facial features for taking photos or have an eccentric look. I'm no expert but one day you'll meet someone or several people who have done modeling or do it who are not necessarily the greatest looking people or particularly stand out, then you'll think to yourself....hmmm. I remember catching a glimpse of that show "America's next top model" and many of those girls were not that attractive, the criteria seemed to be more-over who was skinny, and had certain facial features. I'm glad someone brought this up I don't get what all the fuss is about models. I recently watched the Victoria secret fashion show with some buddies and we were disappointed. Sure most of their faces are beautiful yet most of them have the bodies of 13 year old boys. I also live in a heavy Latin influenced area so this might skew my judgement but if a girl doesn't have a nice butt I'm not interested. Someone needs to teach models to squat. 2
jcrew11 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Whenever im out i always see the most unattractive men out there approaching women.Do these guys not own mirrors and know what they look like? What makes them think these women will be attracted to them? It gets really annoying that these dudes have no self awareness one of their buddies has to site them down and say listen your ugly stop annoying these women. It makes no sense when you see cuter guys shy and timid and these ugly dudes are approachoing women brimming with confidence with no reason to be. Hahaha, perhaps its because they are more desperate to meet women? Should all the ugly guys just jump off a cliff and live in a cave?
Guitarisgood Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 I've found ugly people (if you consider that) are the types that do not put an active effort into making themselves look better. A decent hair cut, grooming and wearing the right clothes all the while exercising and building some muscle can make any one look decent which most of the time is enough to get you an opening into chatting someone up. On the other hand, I've found attractive people to be the most annoying of all. They spend TOO much time on making themselves 'pretty' and not enough on anything else. As such their life only revolves around shopping and partying. Give me that curvier chick sitting shyly in the corner of the bar whom spends her days reading books and volunteering at the local charity any time over that model jumping on tables in her heels and make up and chugging down a bottle of wine. 1
MalachiX Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Some people are allowed to be shallow, but others are not.. Don't think people are ragging on the OP for being shallow. I think they're ragging on her for sounding like an incredibly entitled person. It's one thing to not want to go out with someone who you aren't attracted to. It's another thing to insult them for daring to approach you. I've been approached by unattractive women. In some cases they were very overweight and in other cases I just didn't find them cute. Some acted aggressively. My response was never "what's wrong you with you! Don't you see that I'm way out of your league! Why don't you look in a mirror!" Such a response is that of an awful person. I'm flattered when someone is attracted to me even if I'm not attracted to them. I don't think they deserve my scorn for putting themselves out there. 3
Treasa Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 For any men - or women - who are here who happen to feel unattractive and as though they should stop pursuing what they want....**** that. Even when I was 120 pounds overweight I didn't have a problem getting men. I've always been ballsy, fun, outgoing, and personable. People love being around me. Seriously people, strap on your balls and go after what you want. **** the idiots who are too busy judging you and assigning you some ridiculous number on a scale, which is completely subjective anyway. Love, ~The happily engaged and pretty rock-strong Treasa
Leigh 87 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Don't think people are ragging on the OP for being shallow. I think they're ragging on her for sounding like an incredibly entitled person. It's one thing to not want to go out with someone who you aren't attracted to. It's another thing to insult them for daring to approach you. I've been approached by unattractive women. In some cases they were very overweight and in other cases I just didn't find them cute. Some acted aggressively. My response was never "what's wrong you with you! Don't you see that I'm way out of your league! Why don't you look in a mirror!" Such a response is that of an awful person. I'm flattered when someone is attracted to me even if I'm not attracted to them. I don't think they deserve my scorn for putting themselves out there. I am also flattered when ANY man approaches me. It is a compliment and only an awful person would respond with the whole " omg they are soo ugly, WHY do such FAT people approach me:sick:"
jcrew11 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Whenever im out i always see the most unattractive men out there approaching women.Do these guys not own mirrors and know what they look like? What makes them think these women will be attracted to them? It gets really annoying that these dudes have no self awareness one of their buddies has to site them down and say listen your ugly stop annoying these women. It makes no sense when you see cuter guys shy and timid and these ugly dudes are approachoing women brimming with confidence with no reason to be. Maybe these Ugly Men are Rich???
irc333 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Because they have to make up for their looks by being aggressive. People with good looks have no problem getting dates and attracting women, while ugly people tend to have to find other methods like being persistence. Tis the nature of the beast. ;-)
peruano99 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 So I am using this thread to seek some advice. There is this pretty girl in one of my college classes. Normally, I have no problem approaching women, but this is when I am at bars. I have no idea how to approach this girl...Can anyone help?
Shufflin Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 So I am using this thread to seek some advice. There is this pretty girl in one of my college classes. Normally, I have no problem approaching women, but this is when I am at bars. I have no idea how to approach this girl...Can anyone help? Easy. Before or after class approach her and start a conversation with her about the current material being covered. Toss a few jokes in the conversation to gauge her interest. If things are going well invite her to study together or something like that. Ugly men are seen as aggressive because when they approach women their presence is unwanted. Ugly people who take the initiative are often described negatively.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 So I am using this thread to seek some advice. There is this pretty girl in one of my college classes. Normally, I have no problem approaching women, but this is when I am at bars. I have no idea how to approach this girl...Can anyone help? The only real advice on how to approach a woman anywhere and not be called a creepy perverted stalker who's too agressive and should just never make eye contact with a woman ever.... is in this helpful handy video. LiveLeak.com - Sexual Harassment and you - guide how to avoid a SH lawsuit Three things you need to do to approach that woman. Be handsome (good looking in her eyes) Be attractive (good looking in other womens eyes so she can brag about you). Don't be un attractive. (Don't be bad looking to her or her close female friends.) That video is funny because it's true. 100% true. There is no trick to making women like you. Either they find you attractive, or they settle for you because they can't get the man they want. 1
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