aw75517 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 So met a guy online, we texted a lot for 2 days and then he suggested we meet. We met for coffee yesterday, perfect gentleman, brought me flowers, no lapse in conversation, had a great time. Were there for about 2 hours. Later on texted that afternoon/evening. I made mention in a joking way "when will I get to meet this amazing man who made me smile from ear to ear today". His response "I'm not sure, we'll have to plan something". Since then, we've been texting back and forth - all night last night, today as well. He's told me a lot about himself, I've told him a lot about me. We get along great. Anyway, my question is this. What did the whole response "I don't know we'll have to plan something mean" - was that a negative sign? Why hasn't he made the move yet to mention a 2nd date yet? I know he's busy, works crazy early morning hours and has his kids every other weekend and I have my daughter every other weekend as well. I know he's still active on the site we met on, I'm on too so I'm not being a hypocrite. Anyway, I'm feeling a little up in the air about things. He is very responsive, seems very into me, but the whole response I received and no mention of anything since leaves me wondering. I'm definitely not up for a texting relationship to pass someone's time, which I don't necessarily think is his intention, but I guess you never really know when you first meet someone. Anything I can make mention to him again? Thoughts?
Fondue Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 It was only days since your first meetup. And you said it yourself, he is quite the busy man. There isn't anything special in what he wrote. All it means is that you and him need to arrange a time that is both suitable for you. Maybe he doesn't have any immediate availability yet. More than likely, he will contact you about the the details of the next date as soon as he finds an opening in his schedule. I would cool it with the constant contact though. Keep things a mystery. Things that burn bright quickly fade out just the same. Just my 2 cents. 2
winny Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Don't do anything. Don't ask directly or indirectly about next meeting. The ball is in his court now. Be patient n wait for few more days... Say 1 week. Text normally till then. If he doesn't ask you out by next weekend, then lower your eagerness in replying to him. If he doesn't ask out still then just stop completely. Please please please keep expectations low and emotional involvement at the minimum. Don't flirt too much n do not sext. Good luck. 4
Author aw75517 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 Yea I'm not going to mention it again at all. If by Friday or next Monday he's made no mention & we're still texting as much, I may something. He's made me feel like he's so interested in me with the things he says, but then I wonder if that was truly the case why would he still be on that website so much still. I just hate that, I mean it's only been one date & a bunch of texting, but words say one thing, actions say another. I may pull back on the texting. There's been no sexting, just normal conversation. Although I'm not going to set the pace that I'm ok with just texting, because I'm not! I don't mind texting, but it has to have in person interaction with it too.
winny Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Yea I'm not going to mention it again at all. If by Friday or next Monday he's made no mention & we're still texting as much, I may something. He's made me feel like he's so interested in me with the things he says, but then I wonder if that was truly the case why would he still be on that website so much still. I just hate that, I mean it's only been one date & a bunch of texting, but words say one thing, actions say another. I may pull back on the texting. There's been no sexting, just normal conversation. Although I'm not going to set the pace that I'm ok with just texting, because I'm not! I don't mind texting, but it has to have in person interaction with it too. What are you planning to say?
deathandtaxes Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Him not asking you out for a second date either before the end of the first or after he got home is a very, very bad sign. Why didn't you ask him out for a second date?
Minnie09 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Just curious. Who initiated the initial texting after the first date ? And who's been initiating (most of) the texts ever since then ?
mwtzzz Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Based on what you said there's no reason you should take that statement as anything other than face value. Sometimes people fire off a quick text when they're in the middle of doing something and it's not as "personal" as one would like.
curlygirl40 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Don't do anything. Don't ask directly or indirectly about next meeting. The ball is in his court now. Be patient n wait for few more days... Say 1 week. Text normally till then. If he doesn't ask you out by next weekend, then lower your eagerness in replying to him. If he doesn't ask out still then just stop completely. Please please please keep expectations low and emotional involvement at the minimum. Don't flirt too much n do not sext. Good luck. This for sure! But also, make sure he's initiating most of the texting. You say that you're texting a lot but if you're initiating it, he might be replying just to be polite. So pull back some and make sure he's initiating. IME if a guy is initiating texting with you after the first date, he likes you enough to see you for a second time. Most of the time if the guy is not interested he won't initiate any texts with you after the first date. So if he's initiating, that's good news if you're interested in him too. Relax on the fact that he's on the website still. It's only been one coffee date, and lots of people do that. And also I have noticed lately that if you have the apps on your phone they can log you in automatically if you get a message, etc. Good luck!
MrMeh Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I was going to say that pulling back might actually be horrible since he might be the shy type, but if he is still on the site looking for options then I would wait and see if he mentions another meetup, making you the best option presumably. 1
winny Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I was going to say that pulling back might actually be horrible since he might be the shy type, but if he is still on the site looking for options then I would wait and see if he mentions another meetup, making you the best option presumably. Likes!!! :)
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