jamess2013 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 These feelings are getting worse and worse and I do not know if I should tell her or not. Here's what's the issue is: My cousin dated this girl for 2.5 years and he broke it up a few months ago because he decided he was not ready for a commitment. He's 24. She's around that age. They lived together and until this day, they fool around on and off but never together emotionally. Lately he told me she's been pulling away because she doesn't want to fool around unless he commits which he doesn't want to. He tell me he wants to have a kid with her but she doesn't want to unless they get married but he doesn't want to. I have been deeply in love with this girl for about a year now and I always had this really strong feeling. Something that whenever I talked to her even when she was with him, I sensed there was something there by how much we clicked. The way we looked at each other sometimes made me feel that she knew what I was feeling and I felt the same thing back. I know there was/is something there.. I feel it. I never said this to anyone. To this day, this is my deepest secret. Of course, my cousin is my family. I love him and would take a bullet for him but at the same time this girl is the reason I am still single. I refuse to go out looking for anyone because I have never felt anything feel so right but again.. Its my cousin's girl.. Fast forward to 2 nights ago, I went to a house party and she was there and I was trying this new haircut and she's like oh I love your hair. You look really cute like that and I even tried changing the subject because I felt uncomfortable but that same god damn feeling I felt before about her and I having feelings for each other but nothing could ever happen due to her with my cousin. She told me how she was still in love with him but could not get him to taker her back. He seems to always run when she asks him this and she feels there is no way that's happening anymore but who knows and this is where I am stuck. Its only been a few months and I do not know if he will try to get back with her. My problem is that I love her and I do not know if I should tell her how I feel or not. Even if its through a letter. That's the only way I can think of because I never really see her unless there are mutual friends between us and we both happen to be there these days since they broke up. She is amazing and I only want to give her the love she needs that my cousin does not want to. What do you think? What should I do? I gotta also add, that I remember on her birthday when she was STILL dating my cousin that night we all got hammered and she pushed to me to herself and told me that out of all the cousins her boyfriend has, she loves me the most and I found it random/odd. This must mean something. I think she has feelings for me but won't say because of her love for my cousin is much stronger. What do you think? Am I wrong?
ThorntonMelon Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I think if she had feelings for you she wouldn't emphasize her feelings for someone else. You're in love with comfortable not someone who will actually reciprocate. As you said, your life is on hold waiting for her - might make sense to let her pursue you when her feelings are in place and for now free yourself to find someone who wants your romantic attention.
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 First of all you don't love her. You lust her. You don't know her in the context of a romantic relationship. If her & your cousin are having discussions about kids & marriage, stay away from her. She may love you in a brotherly sort of platonic way -- more than a friendzone -- but not romantically. She loves your cousin. You will upset your entire family dynamic if you try to go after this girl. If she has any brains, she will reject any advance by you based upon the fact that you are her (ex?)BF's cousin. Nothing good can come out of you trying to get with this girl. Don't do it. 1
shinealight Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 You can tell if you really like her i mean if they split up would you tell her straight away how you feel? Or would your'e crush just go away? I have been through the same thing except it backfired and now i have to get over this lady and my life is just . If you really like her and i mean like her then go for it but don't mess it up whatever you do like i did.
Recommended Posts