ponchsox Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Online dating is a numbers game and takes patience.
salparadise Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Then to give that much weight to such a comment as a dismissal to blow someone off you had a "connection" with? There are so many more credible things to judge someone's character on. I agree. Don't try and squeeze people into a small box. Sounds like he was just making casual conversation. It was pretty innocuous. Perhaps it wasn't precisely the words you were looking for but that doesn't make him a loser or time waster. In any conversation the narrower your range of acceptable responses, the more difficult it is to have a positive interaction. Are you only interested in a man who will say, "I expect to be married by this time next year?" Good luck with that. 2
ChessPieceFace Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 NO. This is very wrong. This is the beginning of catastrophe. You should start by looking for a flawless person. Everyone at the start show their best selves and hide their negatives. If you start looking for someone with flaws, these flaws will become double during the relationship. In my opinion at the start you shouldn't compromise for less than perfect (and I mean of course regarding the personality of someone, not the looks). After you've met someone and have a good relationship going and you see they are worth some compromises, then go for it. ... all he did "wrong" was answer "I just signed up for the dating website because I was looking for something to do." Oh man, what a catastrophe dating that guy would be. You're acting like he brought his kid and dog on the date, and was beating them with a stick during dinner. So, indulge my curiosity -- what would the correct response have been? "I haven't had success with dating IRL so I've turned to online dating" That would be the HONEST answer, but we all know THAT isn't the right one. So then, what lie were you looking for, ladies? That way we can write it in our Book of Acceptable Lies. Better navigate the minefield perfectly men. One false step and these prizes won't have you. But Iguanna and mortenschild are obviously both perfect in every thought and action, thus have the right to demand absolute perfection of others.
Iguanna Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I'm sorry I sounded aggressive and sorry I couldn't express myself the way I wanted. What I wanted to say was, girls do NOT waste your time with men who show some irritating flaws from the first dates cause these flaws will only get worse in time. There are always signs to understand what someone wants or means, but we have to keep our eyes and mind open to notice them. There are many stories of women who have admitted that they had some signs from the start and they had to take them into consideration but they didn't and now they regret it. Same goes for men of course. What I suggest is, have your eyes and mind open, don't try to justify everything if it's something that bothers you. I remember my grandmother has told me a story of her first husband, she and his sister were having a disagreement and he slapped his sister to defend my grandmother, and she was happy that her husband defended her. But of course after some months he slapped her as well. She says, I should have known that he would abuse me as well cause he abused his sister. This is a sign. If she hadn't ignored it, she wouldn't have married and then divorced him. When I said, try to find the perfect man, I meant, someone who doesn't show signs of bad attributes. If he is such a good actor and he lies and pretends, of course there is nothing you can do. Also, I appreciate honesty. I haven't read the original post and the posts I made yesterday were not regarding this post, they were general. I'd appreciate more though an answer "It seems that I didn't have much success in real life dating so I gave OLD a try" than "I used OLD cause I was bored". This shows me that he doesn't appreciate me much and I'm just another person to help him have a good time. There are no recipes in dating and love - if there were, we would all be happy. But one rule should be, pay attention to what someone says or how he acts, not only to you but to others as well. This shows things about his character.
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