Sammmmm Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Basically me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 years now. We had a big argument about 5 weeks ago. We almost broke up, it was horrible. A few days after I went to my Christmas staff party got stupidly drunk and a group of us after the party went back to a lad who works in a different section of the store, a lad who I have never spoken to before, his house. Me and him were speaking in the kitchen alone, and then he kissed me and I let him. It lasted no longer than a few seconds and as soon as I realised what I had done I stopped it and nothing else happened. I don't know how it happened. I've never wanted anyone else or thought about anyone else. Even on that night I did had no intention of kissing anyone. Obviously my relationship wasn't perfect at the time as we had argued but there was no excuse for what I let happen. I feel like the worst person in the world. I'm more than disappointed in myself. I hate myself for it. At first I decided I wasn't going to tell him straight away as we had only argued a few days previous. But now we are so happy together we had the best christmas and new year together, I've never wanted to be with someone so much in all my life. But now I can't eat or sleep because of the guilt. If I tell him he could end it between us which is what I don't want. But I think he deserves to know. But I am so scared to loose him. Obviously I know I should of been thinking about that when I let the kiss happen. But I wasn't thinking at all, I know I am in the wrong and I've made a horrible mistake. I'm hoping he forgives me because in the past (first 8 months of our relationship) he hurt me by texting a girl mate of his really inappropriately he didn't cheat but it did hurt me and he did make a mistake, It did loose a little bit of my trust in him. But he has gained it back. So I'm hoping with him making a mistake he might forgive me. Oh I don't want to loose him? But this guilt is killing me. I want to be so honest with him but I don't want to loose him. It was 1 mistake and I know I will never ever do anything to hurt him again. So should I tell him and risk loosing him forever? or should I never tell him and live with the guilt even though I'm not sure I can. I don't want to hurt him and please no nasty comments obviously I know I'm in the wrong!
Philosoraptor Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Yes you should tell him. Not only will it relieve the guilt from your mind but it will once again allow you to have a relationship based on the truth. Put yourself on the other side. If he had a lapse would you like to be able to make decisions for yourself based on all the facts? 1
darkmoon Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 if you want to lose him, then tell him, better bury your drunken kiss in the past, you hardly have described a big love affair - just a misguided kiss you will hurt him - and you - so unless you are a masochist, forget the damn kiss 1
Chief Wiggum Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 If you tell him, then it's a certainty he'll lose a chunk of respect/trust in you. And that's if you're lucky. Best to forget about it. What's the point of ruining everything over something you did unintentionally whilst drunk. Don't tell him. Move on. 1
pteromom Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I don't think you should tell either, but only if you can get past the guilt and chalk it up to a learning experience. If you can't let go of the guilt, it will be a cancer eating away at your relationship. 1
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