Broken up

[Luke12345]

Hey 1994, this is what you're doing:

 

You're grasping for straws. I think we all went through the same thing - for every meaningful relationship, its hard to let go.

 

You understand one part of no contact, but you misinterpret what it really means and what you have to do. You guys broke up, I know you're worried, what if I go no contact and she thinks I'm not interested and then she'll move on. Honestly you don't have a choice, you have to leave it to chance. If she told you she's happy, you have to just disappear. I know its pretty ridiculous, but the more you do and try to grasp at straws and overthink, you're just wasting your time. You can not change people's minds. If that worked, telling her you love her and that she's making a mistake would make her come back. Clearly that didn't work.

 

Anyways either you realize this now or after you relish in some pain and get depressed about why al your actions didn't have any result.

 

Break contact, don't have to tell her, no contact is no contact. There's no point in asking "how long do I NC for?" Its basically assume its over and get on with your life. It could be days, it could be months, or even a year. Let go.

 

You can choose to hold onto hope or not, but holding on to hope when there really isn't is pointless. This is straight forward and blunt, its also the reality for a high % of cases.

 

The world is vast, its not the end.

 

What he said.

 

Seriously dude, calm down about it, chill out, ficus on yourself right now, keep yourself busy and if things fall into place then they do, if not then they don't, you've done all you could up until that.

 

Now if this really helps reassure you, women go crazy when given LESS attention from someone they care about, they WONT show it, but if your out having fun, doing your own thing that'll actually really attract her anyway.

 

Go jump in the pool man but don't care if daddy's watching you do that awesome flip.

[1994O]

we have already agreed to be friends though so should i just completely forget that? knowing her she will come back to me after a while of NC but it would be for the wrong reasons. that's why i dont know should i even bother with NC.

[1994O]

i dont want her back just because she is lonely. knowing her my best chance is to just be friends and be the best person i can be, be the person she fell in love with. i appreciate all of yer advice but i feel this may be the best thing to do right now? if it doesnt work, ill have to accept it and move on. we spoke today and she said she does want to get back together, but needs to be alone at the moment.

[Sasukie]

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[Sasukie]

Honestly it's up to you. You can be her friend, but this can go two ways, you guys learn that you might want to be together but will break up again once you go to college and uni. Or secondly, you will be her friend and she still has the comfort of you being there but she won't have to "date" you. And you'll grasp onto those empty straws, and you'll kick yourself in the ass when she gives you the "actually lets just be friends foreva" line.

 

Sometimes its best to learn the lesson the hard way and then next time you'll know whether to be friends during these break up times!

[1994O]

i know im being a fool but i think its better for me to learn the hard way! we are both in uni already. we'll see what happens and i'll keep you posted. thanks again

[Lizzay03]

Maybe she just really needs a break right now and time to focus on herself. If she really loves you she will definitely realize that she wants to be with you and no one else and will eventually come back to you and get together and make things right.. Good luck!