La Luna Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 (edited) hi, my backstory goes like this. i've never had a girlfriend until my early 20s. the reason being is that i'm extremely shy and quiet. during high school and college girls would ask me out all the time, even stalk me, but i denied them because of my shyness. so last spring, i met this beautiful girl my age with a great personally. we connected on so many levels physical, mental and emotional. she brought me out of my shell and we fell in love. she told me she finally met "the one!" so there i was with my first gf, feeling like the luckiest guy in the world. then the honeymoon phase started to fade off. she got irritated with every little thing i did wrong. we'd fight non stop. so we had a few breaks. we reconnected a couple of weeks later, and tried to work it out. it was off and on, on day we're in love then shes mad about something. so she dumped me. i begged, but it just pushed her away. i wanted to talk it over but she blocked me everywhere. now i'm here, depressed. dealing with this for the first time in my life. my self esteem is low, and i feel like i'll never find another like her again. i love her too much, she was my only friend. she brought the best out of me, now she's out of sight. Edited January 6, 2014 by La Luna
TylerDurdenn Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 She didn't bring anything out of you. YOU decided to come out of your shell, she only helped. Her feelings for you have GONE, the quicker you accept that (like I have) the sooner your mind will be at rest. Join the gym and make some new friends - you'd be surprised at the number of people in the same position as you! 4
Author La Luna Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 my ex is the one who dumped me, and all the sudden she's ignoring me. i've tried contacting her in the most respectful way, and she cut me off! she's hella rude. i'm not begging her to come back or anything, i just want to talk about why she broke up with me, because i'm left here wonder wtf did i do wrong. how do i handle this? she's ignoring me for no reason.
margot13 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 my ex is the one who dumped me, and all the sudden she's ignoring me. i've tried contacting her in the most respectful way, and she cut me off! she's hella rude. i'm not begging her to come back or anything, i just want to talk about why she broke up with me, because i'm left here wonder wtf did i do wrong. how do i handle this? she's ignoring me for no reason. I feel for you. There is no way to handle it. My ex did the same to me, I spent a month trying to have a reasonable conversation with him. Eventually I gave up, didn't respond to his last text and proceeded to block him on Facebook and whatsapp. I just figured if he wanted me to not exist then fine and I disappeared. I think it is driving him crazy as he is now emailing me, but I'm not responding to those as well. And this is after 5 days of me not contacting him, he ignored me for nearly a month!!!! There just is no reason as to why people behave, only how you behave and react. I don't want to react because I have nothing nice or nuetral to say. Maybe one day I will but not yet.
Canadiangirl78 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Hi la luna..sorry to hear about your break up..it sucks, I know. How long ago did you and her break up? If she doesn't want to talk about her reasons, give her some time. You should go NC and work on healing yourself and try not to worry about why it happened. I know it's hard, but you have to do this for yourself. In the future you may get the answers you are looking for, you may not. Either way, it's time to be selfish and start focusing on yourself. Start doing things that YOU enjoy, maybe some things that you haven't done in a while or put on the back burner. Use this time for you and only you. This is going to hard but you need to go 100% NO CONTACT. You will find a great support system here, everyone here has a story, most of which you can learn from. Keep your chin up and post here whenever you need to vent, we are here for you! Take care of you because if you don't, nobody else will!
Chi townD Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 i just want to talk about why she broke up with me, because i'm left here wonder wtf did i do wrong. Why does it have to be anything YOU did wrong? Maybe it's her! (actually, I'm positive it's her.) Maybe she does this to every relationship she has? Maybe she has commitment issues? Maybe she gets bored easily and; therefore, dismisses the relationship? Maybe she's just bat sh*t crazy! The point is, why would you want to hunt her down to tell you what you did wrong? Why would you want someone to bring you down? If you know in your heart that you were the best boyfriend you could have been to her, then it's not your problem, it's her! If you feel that you could have done this, or that better in the relationship. Well, then you already acknowledged where you were lacking. You don't need her to reaffirm what you already know! Time to heal and move on dude. Nothing she can say is going to make you feel any better. Welcome to your first heartbreak. 2
mantlefan Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 We have a similar story Laluna I fell in love at 19. I really thought we could "save" each other. She from my shyness and lack of faith, I from her need to be a people pleaser by loving her no matter what. Wventually, she dumped me. Maybe it was loss of feelings, maybe it was another guy, maybe it was wanting to go a different direction in life, or a mix. There is evidence for all of them. YOU grew while you were with her. Yes she helped, but you grew. You will grow from losing her, you will find out more about what you want. I have some similar worries. How will I ever love someone that much ever again? How will I ever be so attracted to someone (she was always pretty, but falling in love with her made her the most beautiful woman on the planet to me)? How will I ever trust someone and be able to give myself to someone like I did her? The big one was, if that was that wonderful and not worth keeping, how will I ever know what IS worth keeping? And just now, I flipped that on it's head. An epiphany, you might say: If that was that wonderful and NOT worth keeping, imagine how wonderful the thing worth keeping will be, once you find it.
Author La Luna Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 i couldn't take it i sent an email to her and said "this silent treatment is getting old. you're hella trippin over stupid sh*t. stop acting like the victim and being a coward. just tell me what i did wrong & we don't have to deal with each other again."
mantlefan Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 i couldn't take it i sent an email to her and said "this silent treatment is getting old. you're hella trippin over stupid sh*t. stop acting like the victim and being a coward. just tell me what i did wrong & we don't have to deal with each other again." Not good, friend. If she even knows, she wouldn't give you the straight dope. I am not even sure if she knows. She brought the best out of you like you say. Keep that stuff. She's also bringing out some nastiness. Throw that away. Keep keeping what you like and throwing away what you don't. You'll be a better person.
Fufu Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 hi, my backstory goes like this. i've never had a girlfriend until my early 20s. the reason being is that i'm extremely shy and quiet. during high school and college girls would ask me out all the time, even stalk me, but i denied them because of my shyness. so last spring, i met this beautiful girl my age with a great personally. we connected on so many levels physical, mental and emotional. she brought me out of my shell and we fell in love. she told me she finally met "the one!" so there i was with my first gf, feeling like the luckiest guy in the world. then the honeymoon phase started to fade off. she got irritated with every little thing i did wrong. we'd fight non stop. so we had a few breaks. we reconnected a couple of weeks later, and tried to work it out. it was off and on, on day we're in love then shes mad about something. so she dumped me. i begged, but it just pushed her away. i wanted to talk it over but she blocked me everywhere. now i'm here, depressed. dealing with this for the first time in my life. my self esteem is low, and i feel like i'll never find another like her again. i love her too much, she was my only friend. she brought the best out of me, now she's out of sight. You put her too high on the pedestal. She has lose the feelings and have decided to leave. Do not leave in the past. She is not the only GIRL in this world. She won't be your only FRIEND too. You could have enjoy her accompany during the dating period, but that was then. It doesn't represent today and tomorrow. Focus on yourself. Move on from this relationship.
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