awesomTNT Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Hey guys (& gals), So we broke up. yeah. That was 2 weeks ago, and I decided I would continue NC for another month, because it wasn't really NC these 2 weeks. Ofcourse I really really want her back and all that and she still cares about me a lot. She broke up with me because she didn't feel the 'spark' anymore and seems really convinced of that. Now I'm throwing a party in 2 weeks, and since she is part of our friend group it'd be weird not to invite her. Instead of the normal invite I sent to others I just stated she could come if she wanted to. She responded that it meant a lot to her and that she would like to come, but a few hours later she asked whether I invited her because I'd like her to come or just because I felt I 'needed' to. What do I respond? I really have no idea what to say, please help. Thanks Ftr I'm dealing with all this well and realise that I can have fun without her. I do still miss her though and am convinced why we could make it work.
Philosoraptor Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 So what was the reason the relationship ended? Comes into play before I can make a comment on how to respond to such insignificant questions.
Author awesomTNT Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 Sorry, here it goes: Our relationship lasted 10 months. She began to notice little things the last 2-3 months that annoyed her. She said she didn't feel that 'spark' anymore. The classic "I love you, but I'm not in love anymore" She said I took her for granted, which, I must admit, I did. She thought about it for the last 2 months and the break-up really hurt her. She still says I mean a lot to her and she wants to be friends. Hope that helps :/ Thanks in advance
toolforgrowth Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Can't go wrong with the truth. If you're inviting her just out of politeness's sake, tell her. If you really want her to come, tell her. If you'd really rather she didn't come, tell her. It's your party so do what you want. But remember, she broke up with you so you are under no obligation to do anything with and/or for her anymore. Personally, if it would feel weird for her not to be there, I think a dose of that might be healthy for her. But that's just me going off my prior expeiences...your mileage may vary. Good luck.
Philosoraptor Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Are those annoying things gone? If she lost the spark for you then why are you so sure that things would work now? Seems like it's wishful thinking.
Author awesomTNT Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 Wishful thinking, I know. It is just that this break-up was like a punch to the face and I see things differently now. For instance, beforehand I knew it was unnecessary to be ashamed of myself or her. Now I also realise it: it doesn't matter what 'the others' might think. That bit had to do with that I was sort of bullied at a younger age. I took her for granted, yes, I never realised I could lose her like that. Now I now that I should do all the little things to, to initiate things. Not just to please her, also because it'd be so much fun for me too. I just didn't have the courage to initiate things with her before, because I was worried whether she would like it. Instead, if I let her initiate, I'd know for sure. And yeah, I know it is not very smart to get my hopes up and all. I know this is wishful thinking, but I still am convinced. (This is probably what every guy says after a break-up, but whatever)
xUnknown Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 "Whatever my intentions were, are irrelevant. If you would like to come, you may. If not, I'll understand." 1
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