slightly_unusual Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I don't believe in being frivolous with words so im not going to say it unless I feel it or mean it but generally speaking how long would two people be in a relationship before uttering those three words would six months be a little long
Philosoraptor Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 When it feels right it feels right. There is no set time. I've been in long relationships where it was never said and said it to my fiancee less than a month into things. Just have to trust yourself.
mammasita Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I've been juggling the same thoughts around in my head for the past few weeks. I'm one who tends to "fall in love" very fast. My track record shows that moving quickly doesn't work for me. A couple weeks ago I posted about bursting at the seems wanting to tell my BF that I was falling in love with him (we've been dating 4 months, relationship title for 2). I held back. For me, I feel like its the right thing to do because I want to be sure I'm not just in love with being in love, but that I REALLY do love him. Of course, It's different for everyone. I don't think 6 months is too long - honestly, in many cases I think it might be too soon because people don't take time to really know what they're getting into. Bottom line is - do what feels right for you.
regine_phalange Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 When you feel that you know the other person well... Six months usually is not long enough for that I think.
Author slightly_unusual Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 When you feel that you know the other person well... Six months usually is not long enough for that I think. I think your right , six months is no length
rocketman122 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 wow, if a woman waited 6 months to fall in love with me or not say it if she was and there would be no 7th month. WTF. 6 months to be with someone and not love them? where do they find these people. hows the heat from the bush there? you ok? didnt get burned did you?
theboss123 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I told my dream girl that I loved her after a day of going out when we met up... I said it because I was so sure she was the one, she felt the same... and it lasted until some personal problems got involved and yeh... :/ Depends how crazy your in love with the person and if you're confused or not
carhill Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 General sentiments are likely age-dependent. I've found, compared to young years, being older, having had relationships, being 'in love' and being married, it's easier and clearer to know the feelings of 'I love you', as well as to express them. As I can't imagine having intimacy like sexual relations with a lady without loving her, ILY for myself has always come first. At my age, I couldn't imagine being celibate with a lady I was attracted to and exclusive with for six months, so I would surmise ILY would come sooner. With my exW it happened just short of two months of consistent and comprehensive contact, meaning we spent whole weekends together on some of our 'dates'. My advice has always been saying it when you feel it. Good luck.
regine_phalange Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 wow, if a woman waited 6 months to fall in love with me or not say it if she was and there would be no 7th month. WTF. 6 months to be with someone and not love them? where do they find these people. hows the heat from the bush there? you ok? didnt get burned did you? How deep is that love you are confessing? You dont know someone but only after you have spent a significant amount of time and had many experiences together. "Im in love with you" for me doesnt essentially equal "I love you".
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 It can't be measured on a calendar. If you feel it say it unless in your own head it seems too soon. 1
rocketman122 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 How deep is that love you are confessing? You dont know someone but only after you have spent a significant amount of time and had many experiences together. "Im in love with you" for me doesnt essentially equal "I love you". im in love with you is a much higher level than I love you. my point is that a person is dating a person exclusively and no feeling for 6 months or more? thats crazy. 2-4 months, dating 2-4 times a week, and lots of talking/texting, is a lot of time to have these feelings for someone. and its not a regular person either. its not a first second or third date. its a few months and many dates and calls spent together. 6 months and I havent heard an I love you, or even a reciprocating one after I told her? there will be no 7th. And yes, you can feel if the person loves you. there was a girl who said it very selectively but I felt it and I told. both me and my last ex would say it to one another all the time because we really did feel it.
mammasita Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 im in love with you is a much higher level than I love you. my point is that a person is dating a person exclusively and no feeling for 6 months or more? thats crazy. 2-4 months, dating 2-4 times a week, and lots of talking/texting, is a lot of time to have these feelings for someone. and its not a regular person either. its not a first second or third date. its a few months and many dates and calls spent together. 6 months and I havent heard an I love you, or even a reciprocating one after I told her? there will be no 7th. And yes, you can feel if the person loves you. there was a girl who said it very selectively but I felt it and I told. both me and my last ex would say it to one another all the time because we really did feel it. So you're saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you......yet"
soccerrprp Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 OP, You'll have different opinions, of course. I told my late wife only after 2-weeks of dating that I loved her. 6 months is not long enough?! Hmmmmmmm. If you've been together, seeing each other consistently, I would say 6-months is in no way unreasonable. I sometimes wonder if people have preset time periods that they feel they need to adhere to instead of allowing things happen organically.
clia Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I've heard that the average time is around three months. That has held true in most all of my past relationships. I personally think six months is plenty of time.
rocketman122 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 So you're saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you......yet" HAHAHA yes, thats fine. in love can take time, but not loving FT! 6 months to say I love you? sheeeeeeeeeet...hell no.
gaius Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Some people just don't like saying it even if they enjoy the other person immensely. It was always used as a form of manipulation growing up so I never say it unless it's pretty clear the woman is suffering from not hearing it and I would almost prefer I never hear it. Show me you love me through action instead. 1
rocketman122 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 but not in love in 6 months..? thats not going good imo theres a problem there. 1
rocketman122 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Some people just don't like saying it even if they enjoy the other person immensely. It was always used as a form of manipulation growing up so I never say it unless it's pretty clear the woman is suffering from not hearing it and I would almost prefer I never hear it. Show me you love me through action instead. I will disagree buddy. you need to show it and say. but if a women played that with me by holding it because a power game then I would have to walk away. if I said I love you and she said it and I didnt feel it, I would tell her and walk away as well. im opening myself to you (not you haha) being fragile. my heart is fragile as well and she wont reciprocate because it s a power game in her mind and I sense this, im out. it will be her lost. every woman I have been with said the thing I bring the best out of them is I make them softer and they can see im sincere and genuine and what I say is from my heart. but if I sense it is not the same way with them, I would not handle it and would have to walk away. I havent had that situation but Im always worried about that. I hope I never have to confront that but you never know.
Author slightly_unusual Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 lot of contrasting views here I think il wait to let my girlfriend say it first , I think shes crazy about me , she,s a lot less experienced than I am and is a little infatuated I like her an awful lot but saying " I love you " is very heavy , it might freak her out so il let her say it first whats so wrong with that ?
hudson701 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 When you feel it. Simple as that. Don't force it.
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