canal Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Hi, My ex bf contacted me after 1 month of BU and 3 weeks of NC to give me something I got sent to his place before the BU (he just recieved it). He is actually coming to my work place to drop it off for me. I will not lie and say I am completely over him but I also won't say I am still in love with him. I need some advice as to how I should behave. I am thinking of just acting normal like seeing a distant friend. Probably won't tell him anything much about my personal life. Maybe shake his hand and say "friends?" or something a long those lines? I do want to be friends with him again but I'm not sure if it's the right time to do it now or should I wait for a bit more time to elapse before I try being friends weith him as I might end up faking the friendship without myself even realizing. Should I try to initiate any conversations or just wait for him to do it. If he doesn't do it then should I just leave it that way and say "thanks and bye"? Thanks and any advice would be much appreciated
almond Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 It is still very recent, and seeing him will only delay recovery in my opinion. Text him before he gets there to tell him that you've had to pop out/been held up/cannot be there for x reason, and advise him to leave it somewhere or with a colleague. You don't need to see him - just have him drop it off. 1
BC1980 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 If you can get out of a face to face meeting, I would suggest that first. Otherwise, just be business like but cordial. Don't get into any real conversation. Sometimes, we overestimate how much we can handle after a breakup. 1
barky2 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 If you have to see him, ( which I'm sure you won't get out of because you want to see him ) just be aloof, not a care in the world , happy bubbly self. No relationship talk, cut it off before it even gets there. After a few mins, cut the meeting off. Say you're busy and you have to go...bathroom or something,anything to not be put in a situation that will have your guard down and open up your feelings. I'm sure after, you'll get the " hey you looked good" blah blah bootycall text. You're a strong independent woman now, portray that...and you'll be just fine. Barky 2
Author canal Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 Just want to give everyone an update.. So i met up with him today. Super quick meetup. I got my stuff, thanked him and said bye, he asked me how my holiday was so I just said it was good, so I asked how his was and he told me briefly, and then i said bye again and that was it. It was probably less than a minute that we spent together. I felt a bit bad and impolite for super rushing it through (i know I shouldn't feel that way) so I chickened out and sent him a text a few hours later thanking him for coming all the way over to drop off the stuff and then said "talk to you later, take care". and he replied saying "glad to help, ttyl". And that's it. I'm planning to go back into NC now. To be honest.. i thought his face looked a bit sad ... prob just my imagination.
Trapito Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 No need to feel guilty or to send nice texts. You did great, except for the texting after the meet up (although you kept the message short, friendly and to the point). Now hop back on the NC train and keep on healing. 1
Chi townD Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Can you be friends with him again? sure! BUT! Only when you have absolutely no romantic feelings for him anymore. If you still do and you try to enter a friendship with him, you're in for a world of hurt. 3
Fufu Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Just want to give everyone an update.. So i met up with him today. Super quick meetup. I got my stuff, thanked him and said bye, he asked me how my holiday was so I just said it was good, so I asked how his was and he told me briefly, and then i said bye again and that was it. It was probably less than a minute that we spent together. I felt a bit bad and impolite for super rushing it through (i know I shouldn't feel that way) so I chickened out and sent him a text a few hours later thanking him for coming all the way over to drop off the stuff and then said "talk to you later, take care". and he replied saying "glad to help, ttyl". And that's it. I'm planning to go back into NC now. To be honest.. i thought his face looked a bit sad ... prob just my imagination. Now back to ride the NC Train... ^^ You can do it 1
Author canal Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Thank you everyone for the support!!!! =D Enjoying the NC train ride!! And definitly not jumping off any time soon =D 1
Recommended Posts