FineFreshFierce Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Is it like being with a friend, always doing fun things together. Or are there a lot of boring/argumentative parts like marriage? I'm young and have never been in a serious relationship and I'm curious what to expect!
Philosoraptor Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 It is the product of what both parts make of it. If you want it to be fun then you and your partner need to do things to make it exciting. If you want it boring and argumentative then you need to find whatever you can to cause issues. 1
Grumpybutfun Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I am married so I am not sure if you want to hear from me...if not, just ignore. Let me just say nothing is more fun... I texted her what r u wearing because I am away on business. She says a hazmat suit with pink curlers. I tell her I am wearing a pork chop. She tells me to be careful of large dogs.....see fun. We have only had three arguments... They were all of our own making and not interesting in the least. I have had the same amount of arguments with my direct tv provider. They weren't interesting either.... 9
soccerrprp Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I am married so I am not sure if you want to hear from me...if not, just ignore. Let me just say nothing is more fun... I texted her what r u wearing because I am away on business. She says a hazmat suit with pink curlers. I tell her I am wearing a pork chop. She tells me to be careful of large dogs.....see fun. We have only had three arguments... They were all of our own making and not interesting in the least. I have had the same amount of arguments with my direct tv provider. They weren't interesting either.... Love it! Are you really GRUMPY?
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Is it like being with a friend, always doing fun things together. Or are there a lot of boring/argumentative parts like marriage? I'm young and have never been in a serious relationship and I'm curious what to expect! If you find someone with whom fun WAY outweighs the issues, hold on to them. 3
regine_phalange Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Is it like being with a friend, always doing fun things together. Or are there a lot of boring/argumentative parts like marriage? I'm young and have never been in a serious relationship and I'm curious what to expect! I want it to be fun, its very important. I want to be like my grandparents, who are 70 years together and still talk all day and night. I dont know where they find so many topics really. Grandpa teases grandma, and grandma always gives him loving 90 year old "slaps". 2
Grumpybutfun Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Love it! Are you really GRUMPY? Yep, I add the butfun because we are all complex and I scowl and laugh the same amount. G
soccerrprp Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 If you find someone with whom fun WAY outweighs the issues, hold on to them. I would cautious of this perspective. I have known and know women (and men) who have been or are in relationships where good days far outweigh bad ones, but when it's bad, IT'S BAD. People have the tendency to remember the good times and dismiss the bad as insignificant. ES, I am certain you didn't mean this. 2
Pyro Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 If you find someone with whom fun WAY outweighs the issues, hold on to them. I would add to make sure that the fun FAR outweighs the issues, but soccer covered that already. As long as you aren't expecting things to be an imaginary situation where things are always perfect or close to it.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I would cautious of this perspective. I have known and know women (and men) who have been or are in relationships where good days far outweigh bad ones, but when it's bad, IT'S BAD. People have the tendency to remember the good times and dismiss the bad as insignificant. ES, I am certain you didn't mean this. BAD as in abuse or cheating? 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I would add to make sure that the fun FAR outweighs the issues, but soccer covered that already. As long as you aren't expecting things to be an imaginary situation where things are always perfect or close to it. No, I think all relationships involve certain amount of work. But if it feels like hard work most of the time then you are probably not compatible. 3
Els Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Heaps of fun. And 'fun' is just the tip of the awesomeness iceberg. 1
Pyro Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 No, I think all relationships involve certain amount of work. But if it feels like hard work most of the time then you are probably not compatible. You get an award for stating the obvious Relationships do take a certain level of work to make successful but it should be work that you enjoy doing. If it ever comes to the point of you not enjoying it then it is time to consider things and/or become single.
soccerrprp Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 BAD as in abuse or cheating? Yeah. Or any kind of behavior, that on balance, proves to be very unstable, unhealthy. You know that there are those who can charm 95% of the time, but 5% of the remaining time, exhibit very unhealthy habits that never change. I know what you are saying though, ES.
Grumpybutfun Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 No, I think all relationships involve certain amount of work. But if it feels like hard work most of the time then you are probably not compatible. Unfortunately not common sense since most people don't get this. My input on the work portion of marriage is limited because it is so easy for us....not easy to find someone laid back yet passionate......
Grumpybutfun Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Is it like being with a friend, always doing fun things together. Or are there a lot of boring/argumentative parts like marriage? I'm young and have never been in a serious relationship and I'm curious what to expect! My wife just texted in response to this question.....only fun on days that end with y. G
Woggle Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 If you find the right person it is tons of fun. Mine certainly is. With the wrong person it is a nightmare though. 1
hotpotato Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 It depends...If you are the one who cares least relationships are great.
Silly_Girl Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Fun? Well, at least 3 or 4 times a week we get on a silly tangent that we laugh so much we are both crying. I currently have pregnancy incontinence and have literally 'pissed myself' on 3 occasions (so far). We have more fun going out together as a couple than separately with our groups of friends. We can go on long walks for 7 or 8 hours, window shopping or cross country or along the coast and we chatter non-stop. We find each other interesting, intelligent and funny. I can't remember if we've had 2 arguments in 20 months, but we've definitely had one. We've had lots of admin/stress in our short time to deal with. Lots. But it's never bad. We find humour in anything and make the best of whatever gets thrown at us. Right now I can't think of a single downside of being in a relationship. 1
TheGuard13 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 It can be a lot of fun. It's also a lot of work.
Shepp Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Is it like being with a friend, always doing fun things together. Or are there a lot of boring/argumentative With the right person you don't always have to be doing fun things to be having fun. Footballs fun, mountain biking with the lads is fun. and yeah beating my girlfriend home with while she uses her supposed shortcut and I know darn well shes been running - that's fun! But even the boring stuff, the traffic jams, the waiting rooms, the food shopping...its fun, cause im with her! We don't necessarily have to be doing anything exciting.
MissBee Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Is it like being with a friend, always doing fun things together. Or are there a lot of boring/argumentative parts like marriage? I'm young and have never been in a serious relationship and I'm curious what to expect! Even with friends it's not sunshine and roses 24/7. I've had a bestfriend whom we've been friends since the 7th grade and it's a relationship, just not a romantic one. We hang out, have fun, share in each other's heartbreaks and successes but we've also argued. We don't have huge blowouts but we have argued and disagreed on stuff and had to compromise. Same with other friends, esp friends I've lived with as roommates. In any kind of relationship: romantic or otherwise, you're dealing with two different people who while they share commonalities and care for each other are still different people who may not see eye to eye on everything. Do you have a sibling? Same thing. In a relationship it certainly is fun and like bestfriends if it is a good relationship, but just like friends, you will have issues to work through, disagreements, find some stuff they do annoying, will encounter misunderstandings as well as external factors and external stress can affect the relationship. There is no friendship, relationship or family relationship that is just fun and never any friction 24/7, 365. However, if all you do is argue all the time, you're always bored and it seems everything causes friction and you're always having to bend yourself and feel stressed out, it may not be the right relationship for you or you may have unrealistic expectations of a relationship as something that is supposed to solve your problems and place you on a 24/7 high, versus something that is as good as how you feed it and what you put into it. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 If you find someone with whom fun WAY outweighs the issues, hold on to them. It's this their are always issues. The question is are the good parts good enough to keep it going. As soon as you realize there are always going to be issues and there will always be some work to keep a relationship going you can be happy with a really good relationship. Just don't fall in the trap of chasing a "perfect" relationship. I had fun with my now EX. She and I shared allot and between some down time and some work time we spent like 8-10 hours together per day. While neither of us was always a barrel of kittens, seeing them always turned out to be one of the things I looked forward to. When a relationship is really working, just sitting together, in silence, and feeling the warmth of eachothers company is fun,...let alone the sexual part. In the context of a relationship sex is at least, 10X better in every way.
happydate Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Is it like being with a friend, always doing fun things together. Or are there a lot of boring/argumentative parts like marriage? I'm young and have never been in a serious relationship and I'm curious what to expect! A relationship is fun when you have 2 complete beings who love themselves first and then love each other and play with each other kind of like little children. If you look at the best loving couples, they play, they joke and they forgive and then play again. Sure, arguements arise, but because they can forgive, throwing a little joke here and there quickly diffuse the situation. Sadly, today's relationships are filled with power play and childish games. People use timing techniques called a "challenge" to exact a Harry Houdini dissappearance act so it gets one or either parties anxious and then you reel them in, sex with them and then break apart again. The only game they are playing is a game of power and control and manipulation. That's your fun, then so be it. I find that kind of fun so energy absorbing. Whereas, the loving couple who joke around and diffuse situations quickly grow stronger day by day together. Their energy level are replenished and then given to others in terms of joy and happiness. What's not to like!?!? 2
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