normal person Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 are you saying I Will be single forever? and what do you mean (And why) do you say at my current age I Am unlikely to meet a woman my town at my current age, I'm not trying to be condescending -- I'm not saying you will be single forever. I'm saying that everything about the situation you describe is not conducive to finding a partner. Let me break it down for you even further. I think I read that you live in a town with 6000 people. Let's generously assume half, or 1500 of them are women. Let's generously assume 1/3, or 500 of them are in your desired dating range. Let's generously assume that 4/5 of those are married or off the market (as you said, most people get married young there.) So in this hypothetical situation, you're left with 100 single women in your town. You have your own preferences and they'll have theirs, so you'll discount possibly half of them, and generously half will discount you. So maybe there are ~15 available women in your town that you can date. You said yourself you never see single women in your town. That's probably because there barely are any. Do you think there's a sorority house teeming with coeds that you just haven't discovered yet? You're unlikely to find a woman where you are because there are so few there. I don't know how to simplify it anymore. You can continue on a thus far fruitless 8 year journey in a town with a very small, limited pool or you can increase your odds of finding a single women by moving to a city that actually has single women. So instead of having 15 women to find and pick from, you have 15,000 and you don't even have to find them because they're everywhere. I hope that makes sense.
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 I'm not trying to be condescending -- I'm not saying you will be single forever. I'm saying that everything about the situation you describe is not conducive to finding a partner. Let me break it down for you even further. I think I read that you live in a town with 6000 people. Let's generously assume half, or 1500 of them are women. Let's generously assume 1/3, or 500 of them are in your desired dating range. Let's generously assume that 4/5 of those are married or off the market (as you said, most people get married young there.) So in this hypothetical situation, you're left with 100 single women in your town. You have your own preferences and they'll have theirs, so you'll discount possibly half of them, and generously half will discount you. So maybe there are ~15 available women in your town that you can date. You said yourself you never see single women in your town. That's probably because there barely are any. Do you think there's a sorority house teeming with coeds that you just haven't discovered yet? You're unlikely to find a woman where you are because there are so few there. I don't know how to simplify it anymore. You can continue on a thus far fruitless 8 year journey in a town with a very small, limited pool or you can increase your odds of finding a single women by moving to a city that actually has single women. So instead of having 15 women to find and pick from, you have 15,000 and you don't even have to find them because they're everywhere. I hope that makes sense. will I find any singles in the 26-35 age range in a city? thats my preferred age group what will happen with the ones that married young? and how did you know they married young, you saw that in my comments? on match.com many of them havent been on in 3 weeks
normal person Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I did the math wrong in the above post but the basic principal still applies.
Eau Claire Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 OP from your situation and attitude you are most likely going to be single forever. The odds on you meeting a woman that is interested in you is almost non existent. Once you accept that you are not going find a suitable mate, then you can move onto other areas of life that will be more satisfying. Not being successful with women doesn't mean you can't be successful in other areas of life. 1
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 OP from your situation and attitude you are most likely going to be single forever. The odds on you meeting a woman that is interested in you is almost non existent. Once you accept that you are not going find a suitable mate, then you can move onto other areas of life that will be more satisfying. Not being successful with women doesn't mean you can't be successful in other areas of life. why do you say this???? and I Feel discouraged when I am single in my early 30s as well. why do you say the odds of that are non existant?
normal person Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 why do you say this???? and I Feel discouraged when I am single in my early 30s as well. why do you say the odds of that are non existant? Because of all the facts presented. There are no single women in your town. will I find any singles in the 26-35 age range in a city? thats my preferred age group You'll have a much better chance in a city because there are more people there period. Even if people get married young at the same rate, there are still more single people left. Also, lots of people in cities tend to "play the field" for a while before settling down because they have so many options or are busy with their careers, etc. People in rural areas may tend to get married earlier because there are so few people to marry. what will happen with the ones that married young? and how did you know they married young, you saw that in my comments? I read that in your previous post. What do you mean what will happen with them? They're married already. I wouldn't hold your breath and wait for them to divorce, your time is precious. on match.com many of them havent been on in 3 weeks Maybe because they got tired of doing a search and coming up with the same 20 guys over and over again. They may only have 20 to choose from in your area. In Boston they might have 1200. On Match in New York you'll look at profiles all day and have yours looked at all day, you might never see the same profile twice and no one thinks anything of it. A lot of times when I search smaller out of state cities like Miami or Las Vegas (I do this because I consider living there for 6 months out of the year to avoid paying a fortune in tax) the girl will wonder why I'm looking at her page and message me. There is a larger pool of people in those cities doing OLD but it's still small enough for them to take notice when someone looks at their page. In rural NH, where I can imagine young people very rarely ever move to, they probably haven't logged in because there's no point, they know what their options are and they're not interested in them. There's no new blood for them.
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Because of all the facts presented. There are no single women in your town. You'll have a much better chance in a city because there are more people there period. Even if people get married young at the same rate, there are still more single people left. Also, lots of people in cities tend to "play the field" for a while before settling down because they have so many options or are busy with their careers, etc. People in rural areas may tend to get married earlier because there are so few people to marry. I read that in your previous post. What do you mean what will happen with them? They're married already. I wouldn't hold your breath and wait for them to divorce, your time is precious. Maybe because they got tired of doing a search and coming up with the same 20 guys over and over again. They may only have 20 to choose from in your area. In Boston they might have 1200. On Match in New York you'll look at profiles all day and have yours looked at all day, you might never see the same profile twice and no one thinks anything of it. A lot of times when I search smaller out of state cities like Miami or Las Vegas (I do this because I consider living there for 6 months out of the year to avoid paying a fortune in tax) the girl will wonder why I'm looking at her page and message me. There is a larger pool of people in those cities doing OLD but it's still small enough for them to take notice when someone looks at their page. In rural NH, where I can imagine young people very rarely ever move to, they probably haven't logged in because there's no point, they know what their options are and they're not interested in them. There's no new blood for them. you may be right of this and I really crave to have female companionship like mad. and I want a relationship as good as all my other friends relationships and a girl to be as good to me as friends that went to movies, halloween parties and did stuff for my birthday have been to me. are you sure it will be different else where? I never met anyone on the job as all my co workers were taken what do you mean dont hold my breath for them to get divorced? and Im sure many settled younger cause all they were going to be is a mother and a wife. Why not enjoy life for a while before that? some women I know maried a guy decades older! and one 30 years older! is that bad?
normal person Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 are you sure it will be different else where? I never met anyone on the job as all my co workers were taken Look... where there are more people, you will have more people to choose from. I'm from an average sized town in CT. Sure, I dated people there but by the end of high school I knew everyone there and I was pretty confident the girl for me wasn't among them. Then I went to a big college. Instead of 600 girls to choose from like at my high school, there were 10,000. I met and dated a lot more because there were more to choose from. Now I live in New York City. There are 750,000 single women within a subway ride of me. I could go out with a different one every night if I wanted. They are everywhere. You live in a small town and you can't even find one. Do you see the point I'm trying to illustrate? It's not that you're necessarily inept, it's just that you're trying to go fishing where there are no fish. what do you mean dont hold my breath for them to get divorced? I mean that if you're waiting for a girl to get divorced so that you can marry her, it's a horrible idea. and Im sure many settled younger cause all they were going to be is a mother and a wife. Why not enjoy life for a while before that? You could ask yourself a very similar question. Why do you live in a town with no single women... why not enjoy life for a while before that? (On the assumption that being with women will be enjoyable). some women I know maried a guy decades older! and one 30 years older! is that bad? If they're not happy, it's bad for them. If they are happy, then it's not bad for them. This is pretty much a pair of outliers. Most people marry someone roughly their own age. If you're asking if you could possibly stay in your town and then when you're 50, marry a 20 year old... yes that's possible. But do you think it's likely?
Iguanna Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Life is unpredictable. 31 is not at all an age to get worried cause you are single. I understand your frustration but do not give up hope. Enjoy yourself, do things you like and love will come one day. Do not obsess with the fact you are single, convince yourself it's a phase that will pass and take advantage of this phase to have fun and get to know yourself better.
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Look... where there are more people, you will have more people to choose from. I'm from an average sized town in CT. Sure, I dated people there but by the end of high school I knew everyone there and I was pretty confident the girl for me wasn't among them. Then I went to a big college. Instead of 600 girls to choose from like at my high school, there were 10,000. I met and dated a lot more because there were more to choose from. Now I live in New York City. There are 750,000 single women within a subway ride of me. I could go out with a different one every night if I wanted. They are everywhere. You live in a small town and you can't even find one. Do you see the point I'm trying to illustrate? It's not that you're necessarily inept, it's just that you're trying to go fishing where there are no fish. I mean that if you're waiting for a girl to get divorced so that you can marry her, it's a horrible idea. You could ask yourself a very similar question. Why do you live in a town with no single women... why not enjoy life for a while before that? (On the assumption that being with women will be enjoyable). If they're not happy, it's bad for them. If they are happy, then it's not bad for them. This is pretty much a pair of outliers. Most people marry someone roughly their own age. If you're asking if you could possibly stay in your town and then when you're 50, marry a 20 year old... yes that's possible. But do you think it's likely? I Was saying what if all of them in larger places are married or have boyfriends and what does one do when they are single in an area where they have met everyone they are going ot meet? "Wait for people to be available again"?
normal person Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I Was saying what if all of them in larger places are married or have boyfriends and what does one do when they are single in an area where they have met everyone they are going ot meet? "Wait for people to be available again"? They aren't all married with boyfriends. People marry young in rural areas because they have so few options. Do yourself a favor. Go on match.com. Search for girls 22-30 in Plymouth, NH with whatever other parameters you like (blonde, brunette, ect). I came up with 3 results. Just 3. You can pick from those 3. Now search for girls 22-30 within in ten miles of 02108 (Boston). You get 2000+ search results. You can pick from 2000+ in Boston. Do you get it now? 1
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 They aren't all married with boyfriends. People marry young in rural areas because they have so few options. Do yourself a favor. Go on match.com. Search for girls 22-30 in Plymouth, NH with whatever other parameters you like (blonde, brunette, ect). I came up with 3 results. Just 3. You can pick from those 3. Now search for girls 22-30 within in ten miles of 02108 (Boston). You get 2000+ search results. You can pick from 2000+ in Boston. Do you get it now? yes but I just got the impression that everyone near my age is getting married. why did you say dont hold my breath for them to get divorced?
normal person Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 yes but I just got the impression that everyone near my age is getting married. Well yeah, a lot of people are because you're at an age where most people get married. But you can clearly see now that there are exponentially more women in Boston who aren't getting married just yet than in Plymouth. Now you see the numbers and you can't claim ignorance anymore. why did you say dont hold my breath for them to get divorced? Are you serious? Because if you're just waiting around hoping on the offhand chance some 24 year old girl divorces her husband and is coincidentally perfect for you and decides she wants to marry you instead, it will most likely be a waste of your time because it's so unlikely to happen. It's a passive hope. You need to take action and find a women and not sit around waiting for fairytales to come true.
SunnySide0418 Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 hasnt worked so far. what i f I am single at 33 what will happen? Big deal. I got married at 36 ..it happens
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 ARe you saying that I Will never find anyone as I am at the age where most people get married. are there women older than me that STILL HAVE NOT found the one? one thing said (is this accurate) that 80 percent of women have married before 30, where does that leave me. what do you mean unlikely of getting divorced? theres only so many people here.
hudson701 Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I am nearly 31 and am having the best time of my life being single. Certainly won't be getting a gf for a long yet! Far too much selfish fun to be had including dating/sleeping around being one them. The older you get the better it is. Stop panicking and just enjoy your freedom.
normal person Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 what do you mean unlikely of getting divorced? theres only so many people here. You know what? You're right. Instead of moving to Boston where there are more than 2000 single women online looking for a relationship, you'll have much better luck sitting around in the middle of nowhere waiting for one of 100 girls to get divorced and marry you. Brilliant plan, glad I could help. I usually try hard not to be sarcastic but you're either trolling or you're not being very open minded about this. 1
Eau Claire Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 You know what? You're right. Instead of moving to Boston where there are more than 2000 single women online looking for a relationship, you'll have much better luck sitting around in the middle of nowhere waiting for one of 100 girls to get divorced and marry you. Brilliant plan, glad I could help. I usually try hard not to be sarcastic but you're either trolling or you're not being very open minded about this. Please read Daniel's other thread. He has some issues.
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Please read Daniel's other thread. He has some issues. I just want a woman I am happy with. not a relationship where I Am unhappier than before. and what if I lived in rural parts of SOuth DAkota or Colebrook NH (Way up north) then how much worse would it be? I was asking of divorce as there is a divorce rate figure but what is it as I heard 40 percent, 50 percent? I just want to be as happy as my other friends are with their relationships
deathandtaxes Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Please read Daniel's other thread. He has some issues. The single parent thread? Oh yes, OP has something. OP - what are you not understanding with all the feedback in this thread? I think you're intentionally being hard-headed. You're smart enough to find and use this site - why not be smart enough to comprehend what we're all telling you? In one unified voice, we are telling you the same thing - if you want a bigger pool of single women, you have to move to where the single women are. They will not be found in Plymouth, NH.
Lady2163 Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 People, he is just wasting your time. He is less than an hour from Manchester, NH...POPULATION 110,000. He is 40 minutes from Concord, NH, population 42,000. He's just been too lazy to make any effort. He ignores all reasonable suggestions. He's just whining to see how long you will keep posting. 1
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 13, 2014 Author Posted January 13, 2014 People, he is just wasting your time. He is less than an hour from Manchester, NH...POPULATION 110,000. He is 40 minutes from Concord, NH, population 42,000. He's just been too lazy to make any effort. He ignores all reasonable suggestions. He's just whining to see how long you will keep posting. OK I Feel girls wont want t o date a guy over half an hour away thats all.
pickflicker Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 OK I Feel girls wont want t o date a guy over half an hour away thats all. Are you joking? Although, I would suggest, by your other threads, that distance and lack of female population (both of which have been seriously busted), you've got some much bigger issues...
Lady2163 Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 OK I Feel girls wont want t o date a guy over half an hour away thats all. Another excuse, easily busted. If move to Boston. NYC, do you think you're going to meet the woman of your dreams living on the same block or in the same apartment building? It's possible. An hour, 75 minutes, that isn't that bad. If she has a bad day, you could still drive there, spend an evening together and get to work the next morning on time. What is your excuse for not trying a dance class, or yoga or cooking? You have it easy. How are women supposed to meet men? At a football or basketball game? I could buy a ticket, go sit in my assigned seat at the game and just "hope" there's a single guy sitting next me who'd love to talk...during the game. I could spend $300 on a pistol and take a shooting course of some kind. I could spend several thousand on a motorcycle and take a safety course or join a biker club. Men's activities are event driven, women's are people driven. Oh, one other thing...all those women who married in their early 20s? Yeah, they are about to start getting divorced in their early 30s. They are single, but darn, you don't want them to have kids. Your attitude is what will keep you from attracting women. 1
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 13, 2014 Author Posted January 13, 2014 Another excuse, easily busted. If move to Boston. NYC, do you think you're going to meet the woman of your dreams living on the same block or in the same apartment building? It's possible. An hour, 75 minutes, that isn't that bad. If she has a bad day, you could still drive there, spend an evening together and get to work the next morning on time. What is your excuse for not trying a dance class, or yoga or cooking? You have it easy. How are women supposed to meet men? At a football or basketball game? I could buy a ticket, go sit in my assigned seat at the game and just "hope" there's a single guy sitting next me who'd love to talk...during the game. I could spend $300 on a pistol and take a shooting course of some kind. I could spend several thousand on a motorcycle and take a safety course or join a biker club. Men's activities are event driven, women's are people driven. Oh, one other thing...all those women who married in their early 20s? Yeah, they are about to start getting divorced in their early 30s. They are single, but darn, you don't want them to have kids. Your attitude is what will keep you from attracting women. of them getting divorced will I Want them and what attitude, so I can change it! if I meet 50 women who are not interested in me, does that mean no one will ever? how much are cooking classes? EVERYONE has a point, I wont find any single women or what I want in my area. my dad has commented he met my mother here, and my parents say stuff like there are women around! they wont listen that there is only so many people.
Recommended Posts