kart180 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I am 27 going on 30 and currently living on the treasure coast in south FL. I live in a small town of Stuart and all the women are taken. I hate being single and wish I just find a women. I am kinda picky. Never used tobacco or drank alcohol. I do find this as a requirement of a date. Find it hard as most women already have kids from a previous relationship .
M30USA Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 It seems that 90% of people are never "single". They kind of just hop from one person to the next. From what I've seen, people usually get pulled away (so to speak) from their previous interest when someone more suitable comes along. This is precisely why so many people don't consider it an obstacle when a person they have their eyes on is taken or even married. I even know people who get worried and suspicious about a person they like if they ARE single--as in, "What's wrong with them that nobody wants them?" 1
umbongo Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Don't worry about the current situation or 'what might it be like in XX' - focus on what you enjoy and make sure that comes first. In terms of women - no matter where you live there will be singles BUT they might not be where you are looking. An earlier post mentions a strategy; take some time think over where you are currently looking and how active you are in the hunt. Have you reached out to friends for 'friends of friends' - in small communities this can be a surprisingly positive method. Don't focus on next door, or the end of the road - think of the wider community and those communities that are your neighbours. Whether you are 20, 30 or 60 there is always plenty of choice. It won't always stand up and shout about how available it is but I guarantee you many options are out there for you to find. Remember that the hunt is meant to fun and challenging as it makes the prize sweeter Many of us have been in the place I you describe - don't let it get you down!
Eau Claire Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I'm reading this thread. Are you 13 or 31? Not to be harsh but I'm not surprised you are single. My advice is to uproot your life and go elsewhere...Oregon, Alaska, etc. Do a 180 degree turn. Since you have no relationship, few friends then you aren't losing anything by leaving where you are. As the Nike commercial says...Just Do It. You don't want to be in the same position you are in after another 31 years.
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 I Feel the older I get the more I wont find anyone. I am almost 31 and I Am worried what will be left over. Also, I tried asking people to set me up with someone for years and all I hear is "All my friends are married or have boyfriends" will people be available again?
polynomial Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I Feel the older I get the more I wont find anyone. I am almost 31 and I Am worried what will be left over. Also, I tried asking people to set me up with someone for years and all I hear is "All my friends are married or have boyfriends" will people be available again? you need to move to another place with larger population.
Lady2163 Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I don't know if it because of Internet speak or just that you are 13 years younger than I am, but your writing style on this post is very...immature. I'm 44, and single. I have been single since I was 33. The world didn't come to an end. But, in a small town, you have to make some concessions. I'm in a town of 10,000. After looking at the 2010 census and calculating that 80% of all men are in relationships, there are 116 single men in this town who are in my age range. We can easily knock that down to 100 - I'm not attracted outside of my race. Then, there is a HUGE portion of the population that won't date me because I'm Catholic. Long story, but trust me, that knocks out at least 30%, probably more. So I'm stuck with 70 men. We haven't even factored in personality, excessive drinking and other things. The bottom line, one small town person to another, you need to be willing to go to a bigger town for dating opportunity, There may be some driving. 2
Eau Claire Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I Feel the older I get the more I wont find anyone. I am almost 31 and I Am worried what will be left over. Also, I tried asking people to set me up with someone for years and all I hear is "All my friends are married or have boyfriends" will people be available again? If there are no women where you live then do something about it. Stop the self pity. What do you want posters to do..show you a secret storage room full of single women? Give you an address for mail order girlfriends? Women are attracted to men who are resourceful and who have confidence. How important is it to you in life to have a partner...2 out of 10? 8 out of 10? If it is not all that important, then keep on doing what you are doing. If important, then move. Start a new life elsewhere.
Sand Man Dan Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 It seems that 90% of people are never "single". They kind of just hop from one person to the next. From what I've seen, people usually get pulled away (so to speak) from their previous interest when someone more suitable comes along. This is precisely why so many people don't consider it an obstacle when a person they have their eyes on is taken or even married. I even know people who get worried and suspicious about a person they like if they ARE single--as in, "What's wrong with them that nobody wants them?" Nailed it.
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 If there are no women where you live then do something about it. Stop the self pity. What do you want posters to do..show you a secret storage room full of single women? Give you an address for mail order girlfriends? Women are attracted to men who are resourceful and who have confidence. How important is it to you in life to have a partner...2 out of 10? 8 out of 10? If it is not all that important, then keep on doing what you are doing. If important, then move. Start a new life elsewhere. I want female companionship really bad! and its not fair I dont have what everyone else has what do I do if there are no women 26 or older? I Am 31. are there any singles around my exact age or older?
Lady2163 Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Have you been to church? Take a yoga class Take a cooking class Take a water aerobics class Go to the library Go to other churches as a guest. Usually I give people some unconditional positive regard, but I'm starting to think all you do is complain. It is easy to meet women. Men, not so much. 1
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Have you been to church? Take a yoga class Take a cooking class Take a water aerobics class Go to the library Go to other churches as a guest. Usually I give people some unconditional positive regard, but I'm starting to think all you do is complain. It is easy to meet women. Men, not so much. what if I cant find anyone near my age range? and of that post someone said of living in a smaller town and making concessions, what do they mean?
Lady2163 Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Concessions - you will have to drive. You will probably have to have a long distance relationship. For a log distance relationship to work one or the other person is eventually going to have to move. You're going to have to put some work into this. I kind of doubt you are going to do that. Meetups.com Contact your chamber of commerce. Find out what activities are available. Co-Ed volleyball, coed softball? Other towns in the area have adult Ed classes? Ooohh....dance classes...if you have a place in driving distance that offers dancing, they are always overloaded with women. Uh..the more intense the workout, the higher the odds are there are going to be 20 somethings in it. A Zumba class will probably have more youngish women than a yoga class.
Lady2163 Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Concessions - you will have to drive. You will probably have to have a long distance relationship. For a log distance relationship to work one or the other person is eventually going to have to move. You're going to have to put some work into this. I kind of doubt you are going to do that. Meetups.com Contact your chamber of commerce. Find out what activities are available. Co-Ed volleyball, coed softball? Other towns in the area have adult Ed classes? Ooohh....dance classes...if you have a place in driving distance that offers dancing, they are always overloaded with women. Uh..the more intense the workout, the higher the odds are there are going to be 20 somethings in it. A Zumba class will probably have more youngish women than a yoga class. I just did a google search. You have a college in town. You,have dance lessons in Bristol. You have an ice arena. You have over 40 churches in the area. You haven't tried very hard, have you? 1
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 I just did a google search. You have a college in town. You,have dance lessons in Bristol. You have an ice arena. You have over 40 churches in the area. You haven't tried very hard, have you? I never meet any singles to where I am discouraged.
Johnson1 Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Don't feel bad. I just turned 50 and got separated after 32 years because we grew apart. I'm confident I can find someone else, so you should be. Besides, marriage and long term relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be. After enough time passes the magic wears off and you stop trying to please each other, then indifference sets in. Take it from me. I know.
deathandtaxes Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I like Lady2163's advice on activities, especially dance and yoga. I have never met so many women as when I was taking dance and ballet. I'm usually the only guy or one of two guys in a class of anywhere from ten to twenty. The women are of all ages, from college age up to 50's. Yoga doesn't quite have the sex ratio that dance and ballet will, but the classes I have been to are heavily skewed towards women. And a wonderful side effect of these classes? You get fit! And more attractive to the ladies! What are you doing to meet women? 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 It seems that 90% of people are never "single". They kind of just hop from one person to the next. From what I've seen, people usually get pulled away (so to speak) from their previous interest when someone more suitable comes along. This is precisely why so many people don't consider it an obstacle when a person they have their eyes on is taken or even married. I even know people who get worried and suspicious about a person they like if they ARE single--as in, "What's wrong with them that nobody wants them?" This is the harsh reality which many people feel too moral to embrace. Very few people are 100% single. By which I mean not involved with, or interested in anybody at all, with no body interested in them at all. Even people who haven't "dated" or been "in a relationship". People choose the best mate they can of who is available. Competition for better mates, which implies some degree of winning a mate from another person, is part of life. Sometimes you win sometimes you loose. OP if you don't want to move from where you are you need to be willing to take a "taken" woman away from her man. If a woman is in her 30's and he hasn't put a ring on it, she may be looking to jump ship. Know this, many women just keep a guy around even if they don't like him all that much...then they "monkey branch" to the next best man. By "monkey branch" I mean they do not let go of one man until a new man is safely in hand. Plenty of men do that too. 1
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 This is the harsh reality which many people feel too moral to embrace. Very few people are 100% single. By which I mean not involved with, or interested in anybody at all, with no body interested in them at all. Even people who haven't "dated" or been "in a relationship". People choose the best mate they can of who is available. Competition for better mates, which implies some degree of winning a mate from another person, is part of life. Sometimes you win sometimes you loose. OP if you don't want to move from where you are you need to be willing to take a "taken" woman away from her man. If a woman is in her 30's and he hasn't put a ring on it, she may be looking to jump ship. Know this, many women just keep a guy around even if they don't like him all that much...then they "monkey branch" to the next best man. By "monkey branch" I mean they do not let go of one man until a new man is safely in hand. Plenty of men do that too. I WONT Steal someones girlfriend, thats NOT fair to the guy. I live in a town that has 6000 ppl and the towns around it are 2000 ppl. for years no luck.
normal person Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I live in a town that has 6000 ppl and the towns around it are 2000 ppl. for years no luck. Well that's your problem. There are plenty of fish, but you're looking for them in a puddle when you should be looking in a lake. You're limited to the few dozen single women in your area unless you move somewhere that's more densely populated. Try Boston if you want to stay relatively local. Try New York and you'll kick yourself for not doing it sooner. You can't turn a corner without seeing a group of young, attractive women. My advice is to uproot your life and go elsewhere...Oregon, Alaska, etc. Do a 180 degree turn. Since you have no relationship, few friends then you aren't losing anything by leaving where you are. I agree that this guy has to move, but the LAST place he should go is somewhere as rural and sparsely populated as the place he left. Alaska? That will not solve this guy's problem. He needs to be in a largely populated city on the east coast as soon as possible. For most cities in the east, there are more females than males. It's the opposite out west. He needs a large pool of women to pick from, not a handful.
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Well that's your problem. There are plenty of fish, but you're looking for them in a puddle when you should be looking in a lake. You're limited to the few dozen single women in your area unless you move somewhere that's more densely populated. Try Boston if you want to stay relatively local. Try New York and you'll kick yourself for not doing it sooner. You can't turn a corner without seeing a group of young, attractive women. I agree that this guy has to move, but the LAST place he should go is somewhere as rural and sparsely populated as the place he left. Alaska? That will not solve this guy's problem. He needs to be in a largely populated city on the east coast as soon as possible. For most cities in the east, there are more females than males. It's the opposite out west. He needs a large pool of women to pick from, not a handful. and so many woman here got married at 21, which reduced my dating chances, (I Was in Alaska 3 months ago for travel).. ITs expensive to move and I know relationships are not guaranteed to last. I always looked in bars to meet women, for 8 years. I have heard many lately say I wont meet her at the bar.
normal person Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I always looked in bars to meet women, for 8 years. I have heard many lately say I wont meet her at the bar. At your age, you're unlikely to meet an available woman in a town of 6000 period. Be it at a bar or otherwise. It hasn't worked for 8 years and you still keep doing it. You said it yourself, the women who are your age now married at 21. The current 21 year olds are marrying someone other than you. You need to be in a place with more women, it's that simple. I can work from anywhere and I live in New York City, which is expensive as all hell. Why? Because I like women and this city is flooding with them. I can pretty much have my pick. I maximized my search potential. Why anyone in their 20s-30s trying to find a partner would willingly limit themselves to small towns is so beyond me. It's simple math, you can stay in your small town and be limited to the handful of available women there. Or move somewhere more populated and pick from the thousands of girls there. Please don't go to Alaska to look, you'll have the same problem.
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 At your age, you're unlikely to meet an available woman in a town of 6000 period. Be it at a bar or otherwise. It hasn't worked for 8 years and you still keep doing it. You said it yourself, the women who are your age now married at 21. The current 21 year olds are marrying someone other than you. You need to be in a place with more women, it's that simple. I can work from anywhere and I live in New York City, which is expensive as all hell. Why? Because I like women and this city is flooding with them. I can pretty much have my pick. I maximized my search potential. Why anyone in their 20s-30s trying to find a partner would willingly limit themselves to small towns is so beyond me. It's simple math, you can stay in your small town and be limited to the handful of available women there. Or move somewhere more populated and pick from the thousands of girls there. Please don't go to Alaska to look, you'll have the same problem. are you saying I Will be single forever? and what do you mean (And why) do you say at my current age I Am unlikely to meet a woman my town at my current age,
deathandtaxes Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 are you saying I Will be single forever? and what do you mean (And why) do you say at my current age I Am unlikely to meet a woman my town at my current age, Look at the census information for your town. There aren't that many women that are going to be single in your town. Expand your range. County. Surrounding counties. Now you're talking. Either you look further afield or accept that your playing field is rather tiny. What's holding you to your town?
Author DanielFife83 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Look at the census information for your town. There aren't that many women that are going to be single in your town. Expand your range. County. Surrounding counties. Now you're talking. Either you look further afield or accept that your playing field is rather tiny. What's holding you to your town? what if I stay in my town? why wont there be many in my town, cause they felt when they graduated high school? all they are going to be is a wife and a mother? I have never been in a relationship even as there was never many to date. Laconia, 25 miles from me, is the problem.
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