daydreamer0830 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I'm so happy to have found this site. To give you a little history, I am in an A with a MM which has been going (slowly) for the last 8 months. I have really held back on my feelings and letting him get close to me because I knew that I would fall for him big time. He is pretty high profile and travels frequently for work. He is also very involved with his children, all of whom have medical disorders. We manage to see each other every couple of weeks, sometimes just for lunch/coffee, other times for more. We don't discuss our marriages or spouses. My gut tells me that he is a very decent man (apart from the obvious!) and is honest with me. Last month he opened up to me and told me that he'd fallen for me more than he ever believed possible. I don't know why, but this has really unsettled me. I guess the dynamic has changed and now this whole emotional element has been added to something that I felt I had control over. It sounds silly, but now for the first time, I'm wondering if he's manipulating me. We text every few days, never chat on phone but I was OK with this as it helped me keep my emotions in check. Now I'm beginning to wonder if he's using me as a booty call. Has anybody been through something similar or have insight as to why I'm feeling like this? I'd be so grateful for feedback. Thanks!
Shhhlonely Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 (edited) I'm so happy to have found this site. To give you a little history, I am in an A with a MM which has been going (slowly) for the last 8 months. I have really held back on my feelings and letting him get close to me because I knew that I would fall for him big time. He is pretty high profile and travels frequently for work. He is also very involved with his children, all of whom have medical disorders. We manage to see each other every couple of weeks, sometimes just for lunch/coffee, other times for more. We don't discuss our marriages or spouses. My gut tells me that he is a very decent man (apart from the obvious!) and is honest with me. Last month he opened up to me and told me that he'd fallen for me more than he ever believed possible. I don't know why, but this has really unsettled me. I guess the dynamic has changed and now this whole emotional element has been added to something that I felt I had control over. It sounds silly, but now for the first time, I'm wondering if he's manipulating me. We text every few days, never chat on phone but I was OK with this as it helped me keep my emotions in check. Now I'm beginning to wonder if he's using me as a booty call. Has anybody been through something similar or have insight as to why I'm feeling like this? I'd be so grateful for feedback. Thanks! Hello fellow newbie (I'm new here too after lurking a bit) I'll try to offer what I can. I think you need to figure out why you are questioning his intentions now that he has shared feelings? In the first part of your post you said you hold back feelings is this a way of self protection? Now that he has shown feelings are you trying to find ways to make his feelings less so that you can control yours? I am asking because that is what I do. I have this wall with my MOM regarding emotions and thankfully he does too. What I mean is we never say ILYs, if that happened I honestly would run as then I'd have to admit out loud I feel the same. Admitting that for me would be losing control. I honestly don't think you are a booty call as you stated sometimes you meet just to connect (lunch/coffee), if you were just a booty call that wouldn't happen. To me a booty call is ONLY contacting a person the day you want to meet them, not actively reaching out every few days. Did you respond when he opened up about his emotions? Edited January 5, 2014 by Shhhlonely Error
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