ILoveVegas Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I was doing good with NO CONTACT for 3 months. I don't know what the hell happened suddenly I contacted my ex 3 days ago to wish her happy new year. She said she is happy to hear from me and suddenly I told her I miss her a lot and she said she misses me too. and stupid me thought that I'll make a move on her. I told her I wanted to get back with her. She said It would be unfair because she is happy being single now and she knows that it still hurts but she still feels the same about everything. I told her it's ok I understand I wish her the best and told her I hope when he met someone, he will take care of her and he will never hurt her. She said Thank you for understanding and I'm so sorry for hurting you and Don't hesitate to contact me. You can contact me whenever you want. Now It feels like I'm back to being broken up again! I don't even know why I broke no contact.. Keep telling myself how stupid I am breaking no contact. I can't blame anyone but myself cause I did this to myself! Guys I thought I was doing good for 3 months but I was wrong and my heart feels shuttered as she is happy going out being single probably talking to a lot of guys and me here sitting at home thinking about her all day! It sucks and I hate myself!! When does it get better??
TylerDurdenn Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 It gets better when you move on. Apparently. 3
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 It gets better when you let go of hope. Unfortunately, you've hit the reset button. It's time to delete her number and move forward. 1
polynomial Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Nothing much you can do. At least now you know NOT to contact her under any circumstance or urge you might feel.
Author ILoveVegas Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Sometimes I just can't believe how a one person who cares and love you so much before can turn into someone who like doesn't care about you anymore.. She also change her lifestyle as she is going out a lot lately going to clubs, bars.. she is not like that before she even told me she already passed that partying stage in her life.. but now what is she doing?? Sucks!
polynomial Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Sometimes I just can't believe how a one person who cares and love you so much before can turn into someone who like doesn't care about you anymore.. She also change her lifestyle as she is going out a lot lately going to clubs, bars.. she is not like that before she even told me she already passed that partying stage in her life.. but now what is she doing?? Sucks! You will never truly know what people think or feel. You just have to let it go, it is what it is. 1
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Sometimes I just can't believe how a one person who cares and love you so much before can turn into someone who like doesn't care about you anymore.. She also change her lifestyle as she is going out a lot lately going to clubs, bars.. she is not like that before she even told me she already passed that partying stage in her life.. but now what is she doing?? Sucks! Living her life...
Simon Phoenix Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 It gets better when you accept reality. You haven't yet. 2
Author ILoveVegas Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Actually for the past month I did accept that is over.. I don't even know why suddenly I contacted her. Probably this time I can finally move on.. It's just hard though. Feels like I wasted 3 months of recovery..
Author ILoveVegas Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Do you guys think I lose my dignity again asking her back?
CelticGibson Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 The blunt truth is, you did waste the last three months of recovery by contacting her. The whole point of No Contact is to never make that mistake of first contact. If anyone has to contact anyone it's her and only when she is making it absolutely clear that she's interested in reconciliation. Anything less is just breadcrumbs and should be accepted as over and done... The one good thing you got out of this contact is that you now know it's really over and she's not interested in anything more than friends. Let that sink in and kill all hope, kill it dead, delete all contact details for her and move on... You will accept reality eventually... 1
polynomial Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Do you guys think I lose my dignity again asking her back? you mean like, again after now that you already asked it?
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Did she dump you? If so, then yes. The dumper does the asking.
eachcomingnight Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 The one good thing you got out of this contact is that you now know it's really over and she's not interested in anything more than friends. Let that sink in and kill all hope, kill it dead, delete all contact details for her and move on... I agree with this, BUT I also don't think your whole three months was totally wasted. If you did get to a point where you more or less accepted it, at least you know now that you CAN get there, it's just a matter of time and effort being put into the right place. You now have the final word and you know that you did everything that you could. She wants to be single and "live her life" and there is nothing that you can do about that. So let go and live your own! Good luck!
BC1980 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I broke NC after 3 months, and I had to relive the breakup. Have I wanted to break contact since then? Yes. But I've always talked myself down rationally. It's endurance. You have to push through to the other side when it gets tough. Anticipate that you will want to break NC again, and be ready for it. I think breaking NC is a way to deny it's over and put off feeling the immense pain of the loss. It hurts like hell, but you have to feel the loss to break through. Just go ahead and do it because avoidance doesn't change the reality. I would try to bargain my way into a friendship when it was too painful, but now I feel the pain and then get up and keep going. You want to contact because you think your ex can cure your pain, but it's a temporary high. You crash down even worse. It's sh$tty no doubt, but you must face it head on. Otherwise, you will stay in a paralyzed state and never be open to a better relationship should it come your way. 2
legion113 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Do you guys think I lose my dignity again asking her back? Sure did buddy, but I think you already knew that.
lolitahaze Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Please be strong and do not contact her anymore. I'm sorry you are going thru this. I feel you...I made a fool of myself too asking my ex if he ever wanted to come back (he dumped me after 3 years together because he has feelings for another woman) in my case his answer was: "puede ser" (it could be). I will never forget those two words, how I tried to analyse them. Oh god, I felt so hurt he didn't want to run into my arms...Now I know I should have stayed no contact since he dumped me, talking to him has only meant more pain for me and it has delayed my healing two months. Now it's been a couple of days since I deleted his number for good. Stay strong! good luck, everybody says it gets better, it has to be true. xx 3
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