Sludge_Factory Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 So,hey people,i used to write here a long time ago when i first had my 2 break ups with my bf,but i lost my account informations. To sum it up:Boyfriend and i have been LD for 3 years,We're 22,23,met through the internet,different states,knew each other for 3 years before getting into it.Spent together months at the time,and months apart.We had our ups and downs and we had some issues like jealousy and him not wanting to move in with me. 1 st break up:We broke over fights about not him knowing what to do in life,He sends a mail after 2 weeks explaining why we broke up,leaves an opening.he calls me a month later,professes love,we end up back together.Things are going good and we're spending a lot of time together. 2 nd break up I come to his home and we have one huge fight,where he just drops me off at the bus station and goes home,we later break up,Tells me to call him if i have any issues,leaves an opening i send him a mail after a month and a half that i miss him,he responds,we get back together. After this ,we had a really hard year,both of us had very little to no money ,i haven't seen him for some 3 months,he later spends 2 months at my house and we're searching mainly jobs for him,but me too.He goes home,says he needs space,i give him some space ok. Prior to break up he tells me was happy to come home and that he felt wrong about that, and that we didn't pass the test of living together(but we were with my folks and we have some problems in the home).he gets an interview notification a day before he has to go,misses it,goes back home and tells me he is afraid and may never be ready to move in.I'm frightened but i say ok. Tells me it's mostly my fault and that it has been hell,i ask him if he still loves me,says he does,makes me break up,i do it over skype,he is relieved,tells me to call him in about 4 months when things settle,i tell him that it would take 4 years for me,he says well ok then 4 years. He also tells me that we're not for eachother and that he is not for our relationship and wouldn't be able to commit(whereas in the past he was)I tell him to take care,he tells me back that i should take care a lot,says he needs to go to sleep like it's nothing,i'm all crying there,he doesn't say goodbye,just stands there looking like we will hear each other tomorrow.Says he'll either send some of my stuff back or put it in a box,i ask about a certain item and he says that it's all worn out and of no use to me anyway(probably because the shipment is expensive)has a bunch of clothes and stuff forgotten at my place,doesn't ask for it. There is much more complications to this but the thing is he always blocks me from everything,starts adding random people and being all chatty and happy (i've checked a few times in the past) but leaves a huge hole of unsolved things between us and acts like he's the life of the party and then suddenly,he's back and tells me he's been miserable without me. I'm still in shock and denial because i actually love him so much and i had issues but i gave a lot for that relationship too.Do you guys think he will be back again,and if so,why,and what should i do.I've already taken my stance to not let him in my life again,but a part of me is still hoping that he actually cares for me and will be ready to give it another chance.
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 People who break up multiple times with you, do not come back because they love you so much that they can't live without you. They come back because they're using you. If he doesn't know after 3 years whether he wants to move in with you, that's code for "you're not the one". Purge him from your life.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 You've broken up three times -- what the hell is the point of a fourth go-round? He comes back to you because you are a pushover, and you go back to him because you are co-dependent and have little self-esteem. You are in a crappy cycle. Time to break from it.
Author Sludge_Factory Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 (edited) Well,i have heard stuff from my friends,one said he was probably going to get back,but i shouldn't let him,the other one said that he's bound to get back because he was an emotional vampire and i was giving him everything. I have heard from 3 of my closest friends today,that any guy would be lucky to have me because i posess all the qualities which make a dedicated and good partner,and i rarely heard him mentioning things he likes about me. He wasn't always all that bad and i've become emotionally attached to him over the course of these 3 years in a way where we used to have a good communication going on,played online games together,i've met his parents and friends and he met mine,exchanged gifts and backed each other up when needed,and we went through a lot of things together,one of them being sleeping in the same bed together and living for an extended period of time like a normal moved-in couple does.There actually isn't a thing we didn't do together and it's painful because everything is a reminder.We also used to talk for long periods of time and never ran out of interesting things to say,and after all that,he now tells me that we're not compatible and we can't continue like this. I'm cursed to remember all the good times and it's making me miserable and ill both physically and mentally. Edited January 5, 2014 by Sludge_Factory
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