TheNextLawyer Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Hi people. Haven't posted here for ages but now I've come back with a vengeance. So my date tonight. I would rate it 8/10 as an experience in enjoyment, but 3/10 for chemistry. I couldn't be more laid back or jokey, and didn't mind having a contradictory opinion or two. But before the date was over I was told simply "I had a nice time, but I would like to be friends". I didn't want to just nod and smile meekly so I was quite quick to say something back to that, even including "You are very pretty but I wasn't feeling it either". Although I must admit I found her quite attractive and she had some nice stuff to say which kept me interested most of the time. She did explain that she had been in a long term relationship for many years which ended a bit harshly and now was looking for friends and fun times. Well I was hoping to get something sexual going in all honesty as I won't be long around here before flying back home. But she didn't reciprocate any of the gentle touches she gave me, and although there was some good mocking going on, I never felt it was on the lines of flirting. I do think she could sense my lack of satisfaction by being unemployed but I only confirmed that I wasn't making income after the gentle let-down. We ended on a hug and she said to stay in touch but I am in two minds now. Anything you can suggest I did wrong or more detail than please respond. I will be around in other threads to try and repay your precious time.
Author TheNextLawyer Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Well I've been looking for work for half a year and I have not had the best of luck. I think wanting to have a little intimacy, especially in one of the so-called romantic hot-spots in Europe is perfectly legitimate. I really was on a long streak of apathy to any sort of date, so just to get out of the rut was a good step for me. I did a lot of stuff right yesterday but nerves from both ends and a rather icy shield of closed body language, possibly out of her lack of trust post-break-up, made it a mission impossible for me. I did stumble occasionally but my quick wit was on hand, but her level of English perhaps wasn't up to scratch, despite her sentiments that she was much more fluent than she used to be. Anyway I hope someone a bit less glib can answer the question(s) in the OP. Thx
antonio1149 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I did a lot of stuff right yesterday but nerves from both ends and a rather icy shield of closed body language, possibly out of her lack of trust post-break-up, made it a mission impossible for me. I did stumble occasionally but my quick wit was on hand, but her level of English perhaps wasn't up to scratch, despite her sentiments that she was much more fluent than she used to be. Anyway I hope someone a bit less glib can answer the question(s) in the OP. Thx Not having been there, I can't say what you should have said or done differently. Usually, you should just try and be yourself and hope nature takes its course. You have a tough road ahead because most women doing OLD are looking for a relationship, not casual sex. And since they are inundated with messages, then can afford to be extremely picky. So unless you are so amazing that she's ready to forego the 50 new prospects she knows are waiting in her inbox, you're going to get a pass. This, as many of the guys here regularly attest, is just the way it is with OLD. I recently met someone at a dance event who was very cute and personable and substantially younger than me. We both made it clear there was mutual physical attraction and we went on several dates. No way in a million years she would've given me the time of day via OLD, just based on age alone. My conclusion, through much hard-earned experience, is that OLD is a bonanza for women and waste of time for men.
rocketman122 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I think she wasnt attracted and it had nothing to do with you being unemployed. if you were attractive in her eyes, she would blow you right there. maybe youre short, ugly fat who knows. its all about attraction.
rocketman122 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 (edited) Not having been there, I can't say what you should have said or done differently. Usually, you should just try and be yourself and hope nature takes its course. You have a tough road ahead because most women doing OLD are looking for a relationship, not casual sex. And since they are inundated with messages, then can afford to be extremely picky. So unless you are so amazing that she's ready to forego the 50 new prospects she knows are waiting in her inbox, you're going to get a pass. This, as many of the guys here regularly attest, is just the way it is with OLD. I recently met someone at a dance event who was very cute and personable and substantially younger than me. We both made it clear there was mutual physical attraction and we went on several dates. No way in a million years she would've given me the time of day via OLD, just based on age alone. My conclusion, through much hard-earned experience, is that OLD is a bonanza for women and waste of time for men. uh, speak for yourself. I had a lot of luck through old. had a lot of replies from women but most were irrelevant for me. but I stand out from the rest. I saw my competition. guys my age look like crap. and btw, what you say is a bonanza for women is not what it seems. there is quantity vs quality here. men will send to any girl and see who replies. women are selective, or dont even send out messages. and the majority of the messages they get is from guys wanting to screw them and nothing else. its not a compliment to get tons of messages from guys who ONLY want to screw you. I think women have it much harder then men. they have to go through all the crap. if the man looks decent enough, he can be very successful. you as the man may get less offereings/replies but they are way more relevant than her tons of offerings. Edited January 5, 2014 by rocketman122 2
StanMusial Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Did you come right out and say "I'm unemployed?" Because I can't think of any way to come back from that other than being extremely good-looking. Maybe it's different in Europe.
WP4046 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Hi people. Haven't posted here for ages but now I've come back with a vengeance. So my date tonight. I would rate it 8/10 as an experience in enjoyment, but 3/10 for chemistry. I couldn't be more laid back or jokey, and didn't mind having a contradictory opinion or two. But before the date was over I was told simply "I had a nice time, but I would like to be friends". I didn't want to just nod and smile meekly so I was quite quick to say something back to that, even including "You are very pretty but I wasn't feeling it either". Although I must admit I found her quite attractive and she had some nice stuff to say which kept me interested most of the time. She did explain that she had been in a long term relationship for many years which ended a bit harshly and now was looking for friends and fun times. Well I was hoping to get something sexual going in all honesty as I won't be long around here before flying back home. But she didn't reciprocate any of the gentle touches she gave me, and although there was some good mocking going on, I never felt it was on the lines of flirting. I do think she could sense my lack of satisfaction by being unemployed but I only confirmed that I wasn't making income after the gentle let-down. We ended on a hug and she said to stay in touch but I am in two minds now. Anything you can suggest I did wrong or more detail than please respond. I will be around in other threads to try and repay your precious time. Men are not supposed to date when they don't have a job
WP4046 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Not having been there, I can't say what you should have said or done differently. Usually, you should just try and be yourself and hope nature takes its course. You have a tough road ahead because most women doing OLD are looking for a relationship, not casual sex. And since they are inundated with messages, then can afford to be extremely picky. So unless you are so amazing that she's ready to forego the 50 new prospects she knows are waiting in her inbox, you're going to get a pass. This, as many of the guys here regularly attest, is just the way it is with OLD. I recently met someone at a dance event who was very cute and personable and substantially younger than me. We both made it clear there was mutual physical attraction and we went on several dates. No way in a million years she would've given me the time of day via OLD, just based on age alone. My conclusion, through much hard-earned experience, is that OLD is a bonanza for women and waste of time for men. And that what's annoys me, every ad I see it's a woman saying she wants a relationship lol
Author TheNextLawyer Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 I think she wasnt attracted and it had nothing to do with you being unemployed. if you were attractive in her eyes, she would blow you right there. maybe youre short, ugly fat who knows. its all about attraction. I didn't come out and say my employment status etc before she said that wanted to be friends. I am a '5' these days and plenty of women in the past as high as '8' have shown interest. But I am larger than I used to be, have a slow metabolism. I guess I am quite short compared to her country of origin's average, but still had 3 inches on her. Funnily a lot of short girls don't like me and quite a few of same height and higher do. She wasn't quite as pretty in person as online.
soccerrprp Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Funnily a lot of short girls don't like me and quite a few of same height and higher do. Interesting. I hear this a lot. Interesting.
rocketman122 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I didn't come out and say my employment status etc before she said that wanted to be friends. I am a '5' these days and plenty of women in the past as high as '8' have shown interest. But I am larger than I used to be, have a slow metabolism. I guess I am quite short compared to her country of origin's average, but still had 3 inches on her. Funnily a lot of short girls don't like me and quite a few of same height and higher do. She wasn't quite as pretty in person as online. I found it about 50/50. at times I was pissed they would post pics of themselves that clearly looks nothing like them and thats deceiving in my eyes and other times where I was very happy and they looked better. youre 5 feet? 3 inches is nothing. she wears a 5 inch heel and youre done. its known women love tall men. I guess that why I was so successful. men are short on average in my country. not many men are taller than 180cm in the world. got feedback from many women who told me when they first saw their dates they were disappointed because they were shorter than what they wrote. you ever see this? short people have it tough. Short Men Get Short Shrift - YouTube I like most women know the instant I see the person if there will be a 2nd date. even if I knew there would be no 2nd date, I would be polite and continue the date. but I knew we wouldnt meet again. and im certain she knew it too. doesnt matter what you said. she was not attracted. many times I have seen this look when they first met. the kind of look where their eyes light up and no matter what you say, it doesnt matter. theyre simply attracted and wowed. you never had a chance. dont give up though.
StanMusial Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I didn't come out and say my employment status etc before she said that wanted to be friends. She carefully placed the nails on the coffin lid, and you nailed the lid shut securely, lowered it into the ground, and covered it with an impenetrable mound of dirt. 1
Author TheNextLawyer Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Lol, you were so keen to contribute a reply that you didn't read enough of what you needed to. I meant that I consider my looks as a whole as an average. I think in my very hey day I was a solid 7. I was never the GQ model, but I had my 'fan-club' in college in a way. I'm not all that tall at 5'9. But I have had eyes light up in all sorts of unexpected ways and it came down to my posture, eye contact etc. I think you are being a little primitive in how you want to encourage me, and I will reply to you but not take any advice on board.
Author TheNextLawyer Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 She carefully placed the nails on the coffin lid, and you nailed the lid shut securely, lowered it into the ground, and covered it with an impenetrable mound of dirt. Funny joke, meant in the right spirit. I'll like all your posts from no on if they are anywhere near good as this.
rocketman122 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Lol, you were so keen to contribute a reply that you didn't read enough of what you needed to. I meant that I consider my looks as a whole as an average. I think in my very hey day I was a solid 7. I was never the GQ model, but I had my 'fan-club' in college in a way. I'm not all that tall at 5'9. But I have had eyes light up in all sorts of unexpected ways and it came down to my posture, eye contact etc. I think you are being a little primitive in how you want to encourage me, and I will reply to you but not take any advice on board. you should not be taking advice from anyone on forums like this at all. you are very naive. anyone can be anyone on the net. who the hell would be dumb to take starngers advice? imo it should be for humor only. you cant believe how many bitter single people here give advice to others. I cant imagine how many relationships people have ruined by the bad advice. she wasnt interested, move on, find someone else. no bid deal. you cant imagine how many dates I was on that didnt lead to anything. I didnt come to sites to whine about it. I went back and found another. it will stick sometime or another. you sound immature and lack experience.
Author TheNextLawyer Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Well I didn't whine all that much as I said the experience was at least 80% enjoyable on all other levels than sex. If I state your advice is weak, and others here is better, and you try to contradict me then that's fine but we must agree to disagree. I can't simply force a woman to be my date the very next day, and I like to have some down time. If you can date a woman every other day good for you but we all have our preferences. And yes I lack experience compared to most but I have had a rich life with many ups and downs and shown mental toughness. Regards from one cynic to another.
rocketman122 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Well I didn't whine all that much as I said the experience was at least 80% enjoyable on all other levels than sex. If I state your advice is weak, and others here is better, and you try to contradict me then that's fine but we must agree to disagree. I can't simply force a woman to be my date the very next day, and I like to have some down time. If you can date a woman every other day good for you but we all have our preferences. And yes I lack experience compared to most but I have had a rich life with many ups and downs and shown mental toughness. Regards from one cynic to another. My pocket took a huge hit when I was dating but I wasnt dating every other day. I too had a lot of dates where we got along well and I was so upset because I thought wed be a perfect match but I just wasnt attracted. so be it. but youre just looking for a little fun, no? that may be harder..
winny Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 uh, speak for yourself. I had a lot of luck through old. had a lot of replies from women but most were irrelevant for me. but I stand out from the rest. I saw my competition. guys my age look like crap. and btw, what you say is a bonanza for women is not what it seems. there is quantity vs quality here. men will send to any girl and see who replies. women are selective, or dont even send out messages. and the majority of the messages they get is from guys wanting to screw them and nothing else. its not a compliment to get tons of messages from guys who ONLY want to screw you. I think women have it much harder then men. they have to go through all the crap. if the man looks decent enough, he can be very successful. you as the man may get less offereings/replies but they are way more relevant than her tons of offerings. True. OLD is hard for women too.
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