Samara11 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 My birthday is coming up next weekend. I'm usually excited about it, but this year, not so much. The main reason is that I don't have many friends where I live now. I have about 3-4, but they're always "busy" and I don't see them very often. I'd love to have a party, or plan some kind of activity, but then I get really depressed, because I realize that I don't actually have anyone to invite who is reliable and who actually cares enough to make it a special day for me, except my husband.. Does anyone else ever have this experience? I'm in my late 20's, and I found that after I finished college/grad school, socializing became really hard. My friends always have excuses, and one of them usually flakes out when we make plans. My other friend recently told me, "I only focus on the people I see on a daily basis. Sorry if I'm aloof." What does that even mean?? I feel like I'm the only one who actually thinks about people when they're not around.. I'm not one of those "out of sight, out of mind" types. I guess birthdays remind me of the fact that I have very few close friends, and just friends in general who are genuine, reliable, and caring. Most of my friends are very absorbed in themselves and their own lives to the point where they don't even think about me.. at all? I guess I'm just wondering how to reconcile not being very important to other people. Sometimes though, I can't tell if it's just my perception, or if others actually don't care much about me. Most days, the only person I have is my husband. I know he cares about me, and he's pretty much my best friend. The most I get on my birthday is some facebook messages saying "happy birthday" where it tells everyone that it's my birthday. It's strange to be in your late 20's, work full-time, be married, and live in the suburbs. I always wonder if its normal to not have a social life. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Volunteer at a charity that helps children or people. They will think about you with gratitude. Either that or get a pet. Link to post Share on other sites
furby19 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I have the exact same problem. I moved away from home when I was in my early 20's to start my career. Since I live so far away, I have grown apart from a lot of my friends. Here are some suggestions that may help you find new people to hang out with and potentially make friends with: -Volunteer for an organization or cause that you feel strongly about. This can help you meet people who share some of your beliefs and values. -Go to Meetup: find your people - Meetup. This website allows you to join different groups and meetup to do fun things with them. -Take a class in something that interests you. -Join a sports team (volleyball, softball, etc.) Hopefully this helps. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samara11 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 Thank you for your suggestions! I'm actually already a member of meetup.com, and I've tried going to some of them, but usually only a few people show up, and those events are very hit-or-miss... I've also volunteered in the past, which is always enjoyable. I suppose I could do that this year. I've just never felt this depressed about my birthday before. It's kind of freaking me out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
furby19 Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 IDK.............I have the same problem but I live in a big city. The events that are posted on the meet up site where I live usually have a big turn out. Link to post Share on other sites
Heatemyheart89 Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 (edited) Hello I have this problem every year. My birthday is in December. My birthday 2012 I decided to not give a **** I went out with one person was cool. This year went out with a group of 'friends' and it was truly awful. People can be really annoying and mostly I feel birthdays are for little kids. You see the pictures on facebook and you think peoples lives are so perfect. But the amount of people who have confessed to me 'you know actually that night was kind of bad, so and so ended up going home in tears/ so and so got too drunk' Try and not get hung up on the birthday thing and put yourself out there and make some new friends or even just one good friend to socialise with. I am doing an evening class to become a counsellor and thus far the people are great I really like them and there is some potential there. I only go three hours a week but it is what I need. Don't give up on the meetup site. I get the feeling your experience is not the norm and that if you try again there may be a better result.Also you have 3-4 friends. I have 1 who I rarely see. Also you have a husband- I know this is not a cure all but it is something to be thankful for. You are doing better than me. If you want to chat pm me. Edited January 6, 2014 by Heatemyheart89 Link to post Share on other sites
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