brokenhearted529 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Me and my guy have already been away from each other for 3 weeks and during those three weeks we went thru so many petty arguments which lead to him saying he needed time. just this weekend he returned saying he was back for good and didn't want to go back bc he missed me and everybody else (his whole life is here). He was living with his lil sisters and their father. When I went to pick him up his lil sisters were mad at him for leaving and told him don't try to come back. Since he's been here their father has called telling him things that he wants to hear and they are all kinda pressuring him to come back. He's actually considering it. I'm trying to talk to him and let him know im here to help him get on his feet again and i'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep him here. The father says that I can come back with him if I want and i'll be like his other daughter. that's cool and all but I have a school aged daughter. I can't just yank her out of school during the middle of the year and move. I told my guy to just give it some time here and we'll plan the move for the summer instead of rushing things. I feel like they are very persuasive and feel like i'm fighting a never ending war. I don't want to have to compete with them bc I feel like i'm going to end up losing in the end. It's his sisters! how can I compete with his lil sisters. and the only reason they want him there is so they can throw one of their friends on him, which in the 3 weeks he was there he's already started a friendship with one of them. he swears to me its only a friendship and that the girl knows about me and I don't have any reason not to believe him, he's always been truthful with me. but I feel if he goes back that friendship is going to escalate into something more and the idea of me moving up there is going to change. He says its not and the whole thing with her isn't going to go any further. i'm not sure bc men have needs just like us women and if im away from him too long he's gonna eventually have the need to for sex and she might be around. what do I do? we were engaged to be married next month
TMichaels Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 we were engaged to be married next month If that's the case, where were you two going to live after you were married? If his whole life is in the area you live, why did he leave and go to be with his family in the first place? Other than the comment from his father saying that he would consider you his daughter if you would come to live with him/them what does his family think of you? Have you had issues with them/them with you in the past? Why would his sisters and family be throwing other women at him if the two of you are engaged and supposed to be married in a month? Have either of you been married before? How old are the two of you? Best, TMichaels 1
Author brokenhearted529 Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 the situation about him leaving is hard to explain and I don't want to go into details (too personal). His lil sisters are just being lil sisters. I've never had an issue with anyone in his family but I know his sister try to throw females at him bc when we first met the youngest sister was talking to me on the phone just fine like everything was good and when I passed him the phone she said "i got somebody over here for you" (not knowing that I could hear her). By hearing that and seeing how they try to get him to talk to their friends I feel like maybe the lil sisters have a problem with me. the rest of the family is fine. they are the only family he has staying in that town. the rest of the family are here. I'm about to be 23 and he's about to be 22. We have an apartment together but under the circumstances of what happened we haven't been staying there.
TMichaels Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 the situation about him leaving is hard to explain and I don't want to go into details (too personal). His lil sisters are just being lil sisters. I've never had an issue with anyone in his family but I know his sister try to throw females at him bc when we first met the youngest sister was talking to me on the phone just fine like everything was good and when I passed him the phone she said "i got somebody over here for you" (not knowing that I could hear her). By hearing that and seeing how they try to get him to talk to their friends I feel like maybe the lil sisters have a problem with me. the rest of the family is fine. they are the only family he has staying in that town. the rest of the family are here. I'm about to be 23 and he's about to be 22. We have an apartment together but under the circumstances of what happened we haven't been staying there. You still didn't answer my initial question. If the two of you were supposed to get married in a month where were the two of you planning to live? Quite honestly, even though you may have a child, the two of you sound like you're not mature enough to be even thinking about marriage. No comment on the maturity level of his little sisters. If *he* was an adult he would remind his little sisters that he's engaged to be married and their suggestion of other women more suitable is laughable and not something he's interested in at all. The fact that he apparently didn't stand up for you and your relationship ought to tell you something. Actions always speak louder than words. Best, TMichaels 1
soccerrprp Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I feel like TMichaels feels. Man, it sounds like neither of you have your crap together enough to make a decision like marriage right now. Your situation sounds very imbalanced and a little chaotic. Step back and breath and reconsider, calmly, with your bf as to what is happening, what is the PLAN and go from there. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 A month away from your wedding, your relationship should be strong enough to survive 3 weeks apart without petty arguments. You two aren't ready to get married. 1
justwhoiam Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 When did you get engaged? Anyway, he now says he needs time... It doesn't seem like he wants to get married.
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