antineutrino Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I was talking to a couple friends, and they said that having a first kiss at the end of the first date is largely something you see in movies/TV, and it's perfectly OK to kiss her beforehand. Is this true? If so, how do you do it? Just randomly stop walking after you've exited the coffee shop (or whatever), and go for it? Also, I had one friend tell me that women don't like it when you grab/touch their neck/face when going for the first kiss -- that it's better to just lean in instead. Is this also true?
somedude81 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 IMO kissing on the first date is too soon unless you really really like the person. Which really shouldn't be the case if it's the first date.
d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I have no problem with kissing during the date. As somedude pointed out, kissing on or at the conclusion of the 1st date is too much for some. It really depends on what your date wants. As for initiating the kiss, if the moment is right & you both feel it, fine. Touching the face is a another personal preference. Some will like it; others won't. A gentle caress is always better than some manhandling.
somedude81 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Oh yeah, you don't have to wait until the end of the date to go for the kiss. If you think she'll let you kiss her in the middle of date two, go for it! Of course, the benefit of waiting till the very end is that if you are rejected, it doesn't matter, the dates already over and your car is right there 2
Maaikekf Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I guess it also depends on the kind of date, and on whether or not you've known the person you're on a first date with beforehand. Just relax, and act natural, and watch her responses during the date. Do what feels natural, don't force anything. For me, I've kissed a couple of guys on the first date, and others, I didn't. I don't feel strongly about a quick, brushing lips kind of kiss. A more intimate kiss would have to wait though, if I didn't know the guy well. And there'd definitely have to feel at least a little attraction to the person I'm dating for me to accept a kiss. Strong attraction may mean a more passionate kiss, but it's just wait and see. Not every (first) date is the same.
organizedchaos Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Kissing on the first date is perfectly acceptable if there is strong chemistry and signals during the date. I just had a first date where we talked and talked and really hit it off. There was touching initiated by both sides, hand holding, etc. went in for a soft kiss, and seeing her again this week. It's always situational, there are no rules. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I've never kissed anyone, period. I don't think any of my dates would have liked it if I had tried to kiss them...
soccerrprp Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I was talking to a couple friends, and they said that having a first kiss at the end of the first date is largely something you see in movies/TV, and it's perfectly OK to kiss her beforehand. Is this true? If so, how do you do it? Just randomly stop walking after you've exited the coffee shop (or whatever), and go for it? Also, I had one friend tell me that women don't like it when you grab/touch their neck/face when going for the first kiss -- that it's better to just lean in instead. Is this also true? I have dated a number of women before the end of the date. Also, I have yet to find a woman turn away b/c I placed my hands on her face or back of neck. Like a lot of things, there are women who have their preferences, but you questions have not absolute answer.
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I've had guys broach the touch barrier by doing something like leaning over to touch or take a better look at my bracelet or ring, that's really nice and a good way to initiate contact, sometimes it'll lead to touching/holding hands a little and a kiss. I rarely kiss anyone on date one. I think the first date is usually for getting to know one another and seeing if you want to meet again... if you go for date two you know for sure both of you are up for a kiss!
Author antineutrino Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 As for initiating the kiss, if the moment is right & you both feel it, fine. Fair enough. I live in NYC, and based on which neighborhood she says she lives in, I think we live along the same subway line. So I feel like it'd be weird to try to kiss her (assuming it went well) on the train or in the station. That's why I was thinking after exiting the date spot, while walking to the subway stop, or before entering it. I know you can't plan things like this, though. Kissing on the first date is perfectly acceptable if there is strong chemistry and signals during the date. I just had a first date where we talked and talked and really hit it off. There was touching initiated by both sides, hand holding, etc. went in for a soft kiss, and seeing her again this week. It's always situational, there are no rules. This makes sense. I'm out of town, so I've been texting her quite frequently the past couple weeks. We've been flirting quite a bit during that time too. So I feel like if that chemistry continues during the first date, it would be fine to kiss her.
Leigh 87 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 IMO kissing on the first date is too soon unless you really really like the person. Which really shouldn't be the case if it's the first date. I've really really liked people on the first date. I kissed current bf on the first date. But only kissed, we wouldn't have dreamed of doing more:sick: he is against that for the first date, if he is genuinely interested. It is when you do more than kissing on date one, where it is clear what guys are after casual sex and who are in it for LTR... The ex before current bf and I had really intense chemistry; we kissed almost right away, since I felt something acute just via phone/text. ...He then proceeded to want to do more first date. I let him. He turned out to just be a horny bastard/ user.
MalachiX Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I think it's totally fine to kiss at the end of the first date if you guys had a good time and would like to go on a second date. I also think it's fine to wait to kiss on a later date (though I wouldn't want to stretch that out too far or it just feels like this is a platonic thing with no chemistry). As for kissing DURING the date, I'm not sure. I tend to think it falls into one of two categories: a.) You're both just kinda horny and one (or both) of you is looking for casual sex. Maybe you're not going in with the objective of casual sex but kissing during the date usually indicates you're the kind of person who is pretty sex-focused in relationships. Even if you see the potential for more, it sends the signal that you plane to have sex pretty fast (at least I think it sends that signal). b.) You feel very comfortable around each other (for whatever reason); and want to kiss just because it feels natural. Kinda like that scene in Good Will Hunting where Mini Driver's character suggests they kiss at the middle of the date so there will be no build up. It's a totally non-sexy moment (as they're both in the middle of eating something messy) but that's part of what makes it sweet. They feel so comfortable with each other that they kiss in a rather mundane way, like an old couple might. I've never experienced this myself but I think it can happen. I think you might just click with someone enough that you feel totally comfortable kissing them whenever you feel like it. That said, usually kissing during the date seems to suggest that you're looking to get laid fast.
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