Crafty Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 He was my first love and we dated only 6 months but i did. I broke it off because I felt like he wasn't into the relationship as much as me and didn't put in the time and effort. 1 week after we split, he got himself a new girlfriend... This hurt of course. You could say it was a rebound but they've now been dating for 6 months.. Through the course of this 6 months he's contacted me numerous times to have a chat/see how I was. All initiated by him. The first message involved him hoping we are still friends and that he's sorry I had to see on fb he got into a relationship. I played it cool. The next time he "accidentally" sent a message to me that was meant for his ex. He quickly realised and apologized. The next few times he messaged to see what I was up to and in these next conversations he would hint he still thought about me. He even accidentally threw in a few "xxx's" and "babe" then apologized and said it was habit when talking to me. Next conversation he admitted he missed me and still loved me, even said he had the. Best times with me. I reminded him about his girlfriend and he said he knows but that's just how he felt. At this point, I still played it fairly cool. I didn't throw myself at him but merely reminded him I still cared since he was my first love. He said he knew that and he's just happy we could be friends and who knows on day we might hate each other or get married. Then, I met someone and we began seeing each other. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. My ex caught wind of this and started asking if I had a boyfriend and he better not be a dick. And he's happy for me. Me and this new guy have only been saying for 2 months. In these 2 months, my ex has occasionally asked how I am and how me and my boyfriend are. My boyfriend is the perfect boyfriend but I don't think the feelings are there. I think I'm going to break up with him. I thought a lot about this but I'm certain my feelings aren't there like his are. My ex recently just messaged me again how I am and my boyfriend. I very briefly told him the fact I'm not sure my bf and I belong together despite he treats me like a princess. He was very keen to talk about this further but I kept it brief. I jokingly said to him why it was always me doing the opening up and asked him how him and his girlfriend were. His response was yeah we're okay. That was it! Obviously my ex still harbours some feelings towards me and visa versa. Now was his chance to communicate about his feelings for his girlfriend to me since I just did the same. And that's all he gives me! He had to go to work after we started speaking so it was a short convo and he ended it with text me whenever you feel like talking. Any idea what is going through his mind?? He gives off signals he still cares for me but he's got a gf. If he was satisfied in his relationship, he surely wouldn't be contacting me so much. And letting me know he misses me. Yet I gave him an opportunity to open up about his current relationship and all he says it's it's okay. My current relationship has made me realise I do love him. There were problems between us but he can annoy the crap out of me and I wouldn't be able to be angry at him for long. I would like us to have another go. Anyone got any ideas on how to play this out? How to get him to reveal his true feelings, including how he feels about his girlfriend. Even if he says he loves her. I'd still be happy with that response because at least I'd know. Ps. I will be breaking up with my boyfriend but the holidays have made it difficult and I need a few days.
Author Crafty Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 I'm also scared to fully admit my feelings to him when he does ask me if I think about him. I always keeps it brief because I don't want to reveal all this to him if he's just using it to get an ego boost
Simon Phoenix Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 You need to stop talking to your ex. Just because he's asking about your love life does not mean that he has interest in re-entering it. You are being foolish by trying to get him to "reveal" his feelings. There might be nothing to reveal. And yes, you need to break up with this other guy, because you aren't giving him a fair shake at all if you keep talking to your ex. You looked to heal by dating someone else instead of taking time and working on you and it predictably hasn't worked. Let the new guy go -- you are doing him dirty right now -- and stop talking to your damn ex.
ravssss Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 no offence ... am not judging u ... but i really think u should take a break from all this ... and when ur breaking up with this guy please do not go the cold hearted classic dumper way .. and making urself safe first ... and this is the 2nd time ur dumping someone ... so realize that u r not making good decisions on this ... 1
Recommended Posts