firefly2613 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 (edited) My story is posted somewhere else here. Basically, an 18 year old left me after two and a half years, and married the man I guess she left me for three months later. She only knew him four months in total. Well I sent her a message of congrats because I wanted to move on and I don't want to reconcile. Did that. Added her back on Facebook and was totally fine with being civil. Never checked up on her. But then she started liking my posts and commenting on my stuff. I ignored her but she kept on and then I made a big mistake and had a peak at her profile. I guess she's really happy. Way happier than she ever was with me. He is the "love of her life". And what really hurt was seeing her still wearing the necklace I got her even on the honeymoon with him, or both of them going to what used to be our Italian place and even ordering OUR OLD FAVORITE. These were things she knew I loved. I guess I was hoping she would keep something sacred between us, especially after she wore her prom dress (lots of big memories) as a Halloween costume to go with him... Anyways, I was great for awhile til I checked. Felt terrible. So I gave the login info to a trusted friend who deactivated my account for me. I've taken away every form of contact she can have with me as far as I know. But she still knows where I live. I want badly to move but I'm a college student who lives with his disabled Dad and doesn't have much money. Her new guy is some military guy with a big happy family and they're very happy together. I'm glad for her but it just isn't fair that I have to feel all the pain and be stuck while she can just be swept up. I was almost over her before a few days ago and now I mostly feel okay again. It's been a little over three months since our breakup. How can I get over her for good? Edited January 5, 2014 by firefly2613
LadyM Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 They got married during the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Plus the fact that she is so young, there is a good chance this marriage will not last. Our new partner is always "the love of our life" within those first six months. She may be in her own pain in the months to come. She may ever reach out to you again, not that you should wait for that, but it's a possibility. If it's any consolation, not all may be as it seems for her and her new husband.
fixing Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Hey man, your back to square one because you checked up on her and re -added her on facebook. If you used facebook to interact with friends then i suggest u reactivate it and completely block your ex. If you dont need facebook then leave it off. Time will only get you past her. You will be fine man. It sucks that she left you for another man, but whatever, your better than this. Go out and start dating again, socialise. This will all be a foggy memory in a few months time.
strive Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Never believe anything in Fakebook. It's all about posturing and making everyone think you're living a very enviable life. The people who make the most effort trying to make their lives look glamorous are the ones who are most miserable. I've always been a believer of "If you got it, no need to flaunt it. It'll show."
flightplan Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Odds are she'll be divorced before you know it. It's not all milk and honey in their relationship. Wait until they encounter a real issue between them and she'll run just like she did before. They don't sound like they have the tools to make a relationship work. It'll burn out as quick as it started and she'll come whining back about how bad she treated you, blah, blah blah... kick her to the curb and be done with her. Her type is a dime a dozen... and btw, screw facebook. I've never had an account and everything I read on these boards tells me I'm a genius for not falling for the hype.
Sand Man Dan Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 My story is posted somewhere else here. Basically, an 18 year old left me after two and a half years, and married the man I guess she left me for three months later. She only knew him four months in total. Well I sent her a message of congrats because I wanted to move on and I don't want to reconcile. Did that. Added her back on Facebook and was totally fine with being civil. Never checked up on her. But then she started liking my posts and commenting on my stuff. I ignored her but she kept on and then I made a big mistake and had a peak at her profile. I guess she's really happy. Way happier than she ever was with me. He is the "love of her life". And what really hurt was seeing her still wearing the necklace I got her even on the honeymoon with him, or both of them going to what used to be our Italian place and even ordering OUR OLD FAVORITE. These were things she knew I loved. I guess I was hoping she would keep something sacred between us, especially after she wore her prom dress (lots of big memories) as a Halloween costume to go with him... Anyways, I was great for awhile til I checked. Felt terrible. So I gave the login info to a trusted friend who deactivated my account for me. I've taken away every form of contact she can have with me as far as I know. But she still knows where I live. I want badly to move but I'm a college student who lives with his disabled Dad and doesn't have much money. Her new guy is some military guy with a big happy family and they're very happy together. I'm glad for her but it just isn't fair that I have to feel all the pain and be stuck while she can just be swept up. I was almost over her before a few days ago and now I mostly feel okay again. It's been a little over three months since our breakup. How can I get over her for good? Listen man I was with a 19 year old who I truly believed was the love of my life. She cheated on me and left me (I had no idea who she really was, I was so naive) and married the guy 3 months later. People like this have a personality disorder. She was just lovely, but her actions insecurities and pretentiousness made her so ugly. I missed her for a long time and still miss who I thought she was. How trippy is that? I miss someone who never even existed. Don't reason it or try to contact her. She is the type, just like my ex, who is simply a cruel, unstoppable monster of validation, she will truck over anyone in her path to feel secure. Learn from it, and try not to let it ruin your faith in people, as she did to me. I can no longer love freely without fear of being seen as weak in some way or vulnerable because I opened up...I don't think ill ever open up again honestly. But either way I learned a lot and it will probably benefit me sometime in life or whatever 1
Author firefly2613 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Hey man, your back to square one because you checked up on her and re -added her on facebook. If you used facebook to interact with friends then i suggest u reactivate it and completely block your ex. If you dont need facebook then leave it off. Time will only get you past her. You will be fine man. It sucks that she left you for another man, but whatever, your better than this. Go out and start dating again, socialise. This will all be a foggy memory in a few months time. Never believe anything in Fakebook. It's all about posturing and making everyone think you're living a very enviable life. The people who make the most effort trying to make their lives look glamorous are the ones who are most miserable. I've always been a believer of "If you got it, no need to flaunt it. It'll show." I got rid of Facebook for exactly this reason. Just got tired of seeing everyone pretending and I wanted to stop pretending myself. Everyone on there does it to some degree. 1
Author firefly2613 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 They got married during the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Plus the fact that she is so young, there is a good chance this marriage will not last. Our new partner is always "the love of our life" within those first six months. She may be in her own pain in the months to come. She may ever reach out to you again, not that you should wait for that, but it's a possibility. If it's any consolation, not all may be as it seems for her and her new husband. Odds are she'll be divorced before you know it. It's not all milk and honey in their relationship. Wait until they encounter a real issue between them and she'll run just like she did before. They don't sound like they have the tools to make a relationship work. It'll burn out as quick as it started and she'll come whining back about how bad she treated you, blah, blah blah... kick her to the curb and be done with her. Her type is a dime a dozen... and btw, screw facebook. I've never had an account and everything I read on these boards tells me I'm a genius for not falling for the hype. You both say very similiar things. Realistically, you are both probably right? So why is it so difficult for me to imagine them anything other than happy? And rest assured, I would never take her back if she tried. I just want to move on completely.
mantlefan Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Even if you are at square 1 again in the breakup process, you are still in the PROCESS. That's a good thing. I found this 5 months and 5 thousand mistakes after my ex dumped me: Topics of Breakup Recovery Guide Even though a lot of it is starting later than I should, it helps.
Author firefly2613 Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 Even if you are at square 1 again in the breakup process, you are still in the PROCESS. That's a good thing. I found this 5 months and 5 thousand mistakes after my ex dumped me: Topics of Breakup Recovery Guide Even though a lot of it is starting later than I should, it helps. That's very helpful, thank you. Most of those I have been doing. I get 95% there but it's that last 5% that's being pesky.
Author firefly2613 Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 Listen man I was with a 19 year old who I truly believed was the love of my life. She cheated on me and left me (I had no idea who she really was, I was so naive) and married the guy 3 months later. People like this have a personality disorder. She was just lovely, but her actions insecurities and pretentiousness made her so ugly. I missed her for a long time and still miss who I thought she was. How trippy is that? I miss someone who never even existed. Don't reason it or try to contact her. She is the type, just like my ex, who is simply a cruel, unstoppable monster of validation, she will truck over anyone in her path to feel secure. Learn from it, and try not to let it ruin your faith in people, as she did to me. I can no longer love freely without fear of being seen as weak in some way or vulnerable because I opened up...I don't think ill ever open up again honestly. But either way I learned a lot and it will probably benefit me sometime in life or whatever Yeah, hurts like hell being burned. I'm worried I won't be able to trust anybody again because this was my first.
mantlefan Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 (edited) Same here. At first, she seemed truly regretful about the breakup (she wanted kids, I wasn't sure, she still loved me and wanted me to find someone who wanted what I wanted). But then afterwards, I found out that there was another guy in the picture. I don't think she cheated on me, and I don't think she broke up with me for him, but realistically, I think he was a part of it, but this guy was my friend. I confided in him about the breakup for months afterwards. She was after him since 2-3 weeks after the BU and he never told me until I straight up asked. I felt like a horrible person for being suspicious that they were starting something, and didn't want to hurt him or her by accusing, but I was 100% right to be suspicious. I am a bit too honest sometimes, and I want to find someone who is like that as well. Someone who will hurt you because it's the truth, and who you will love and will love you anyways. Edited January 6, 2014 by mantlefan
JDPT Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 I just can't resonate with the whole Fictitious Book, because I just can't subscribe to it. I think it's one of the most evil creations by way of technology. But what I can certainly resonate with is your pain. It's time to start thinking about yourself and no one else. There is not such thing as keeping things "civil" when it comes to issues with the heart. I think this is a wake up call for you to understand that the relationship should remain in the past untouched. Learn from that experience and start looking out for yourself. Be strong my friend, life goes on. As painful as this may be now, know that it will eventually subside.
Recommended Posts