mattwilly Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 my girlfriend and i broke up at the end of september. though we aren't officially a couple, we still do girlfriend/boyfriend stuff... go out to dinner, have sex...all that its been three months and when our annivesary comes up i'll say happy seven months and stuff like that..she just laughs and will even mention it herself..she has never said it bothers her i know we arent offical but we arent seeing other people..it was more of a "we need to work on ourselves before we commit to each other fully"...we both want to finish school and focus on our jobs she has even said we are still sort of boyfriend/girlfriend, i mean we talk everyday and see each other all the time thursday i said i would take her out tonight..then i realized woah its our nine month anniversary and she said..oh yea it is!! well i didnt take her out tonight due to a snowstorm...i texted her and said..ill talk to you tommorow..love you and happy 9 months....she didnt reply part of me thinks sh emight have been creeped out..though i hve said it before since we broke up should i apologize or ask her tomorrow if it bothers her? i dont want he rthinking im obsessed..i kno we arent "official" and both of us could decide we want something different but is it wrong i said that
ShyGuy5 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 She doesn't want "the talk". Sounds to me like she knows she has you right where she wants you and by avoiding this she avoids "the talk" about what you too are. She wants someone to love her, but don't get it twisted she is ready to bounce when another man comes along. 1
MidwestUSA Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Maybe she's dealing with bigger things. Her power could be out. Maybe she dropped her phone in a snowdrift. All you can do is wait. Stop mentioning those 'monthaversaries' in the future. It's lame even for those who ARE official (yea, I did it, LOL).
veggirl Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 not creepy exactly but I think her non answer IS your answer... she doesn't want to talk about "anniversaries" and love with you. She may flip flop on this and go back & forth, say ILY one day and refuse to another... but thats what happens when you treat someone you are BROKEN UP with as a gf/bf.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Not creepy, more foolish. She treats you as a time filler until she finds a new man. Once that happens, she will break your heart into million pieces. 5
deathandtaxes Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Not creepy, more foolish. She treats you as a time filler until she finds a new man. Once that happens, she will break your heart into million pieces. Agreed. You are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Seems like you want more, because you jokingly say happy anniversary etc. More than she does. Means you're more invested. Why are you doing these couple things with this lady?
organizedchaos Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 You guys are not "working on yourselves before fully committing" by acting the way you are. You do that by disappearing from each other's lives for an extended period of time with no contact. And THEN you see if you've both evolved/changed. You got it all backwards and you will get hurt. It's already starting. 1
Author mattwilly Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Agreed. You are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Seems like you want more, because you jokingly say happy anniversary etc. More than she does. Means you're more invested. Why are you doing these couple things with this lady? because I really do like her and it's really confusing but she has said to me multiple times "we aren't an official couple but we are sort of boyfriend/girlfriend" i mean yes most people will sya shes just waiting for a different guy but she isn't. she said she just isnt ready to commit herself fully yet to a serious relationship. she wants to go to school and finish, take care of her brother and niece. she just doesn't have the time to fully invest. theres things we both need to work on. and it's not like im paying for everything. she still buys me dinner sometimes and yes maybe i shouldnt say happy 8, 9 months or whatever but she never has said anything bad about me saying it
deathandtaxes Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 because I really do like her and it's really confusing but she has said to me multiple times "we aren't an official couple but we are sort of boyfriend/girlfriend" i mean yes most people will sya shes just waiting for a different guy but she isn't. she said she just isnt ready to commit herself fully yet to a serious relationship. she wants to go to school and finish, take care of her brother and niece. she just doesn't have the time to fully invest. theres things we both need to work on. and it's not like im paying for everything. she still buys me dinner sometimes and yes maybe i shouldnt say happy 8, 9 months or whatever but she never has said anything bad about me saying it It's a by default thing that she's waiting for something better to come along. Otherwise she would commit to you! She's happy enough to string you along because you let her. The more you invest in this thing, the worse one of you will be when it ends. Are you wanting a committed relationship?
ShyGuy5 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 because I really do like her and it's really confusing but she has said to me multiple times "we aren't an official couple but we are sort of boyfriend/girlfriend" i mean yes most people will sya shes just waiting for a different guy but she isn't. she said she just isnt ready to commit herself fully yet to a serious relationship. she wants to go to school and finish, take care of her brother and niece. she just doesn't have the time to fully invest. theres things we both need to work on. and it's not like im paying for everything. she still buys me dinner sometimes and yes maybe i shouldnt say happy 8, 9 months or whatever but she never has said anything bad about me saying it And you believe this? I guess you just want the comforting lies instead of the uncomfortable truth.
d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 For her it's the best of both worlds. She's not committed to you. You are still devoted to her. What a huge ego boost for her. What do you get out of this? Why are you settling for so little? 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Dude, this not your GF. She is your FWB. The classic FWB is an ex. Look elsewhere for love use her for what she offers. 2
Author mattwilly Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 bu why is she always calling me to talk and wanting to hang out?
MidwestUSA Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 bu why is she always calling me to talk and wanting to hang out? Are you having sex with her?
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