LostConfused123 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Well I feel a little better and less panicked after being more informed. BYCS, I'm not angry at you at all. Okay Just want you to feel better and happy because you deserve it!! Thanks to those who responded to me. I can breathe a little better now. 2
LostConfused123 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 She just texted me. She wasn't feeling well. I AM SO SORRY EVERYONE!! I didn't mean to cause more worry. I guess I should have been more patient. I feel like I have aged a whole year in the past hour. She's okay. That's all that matters. Again, I'm so sorry!!!
Still Searching Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I probably shouldn't say this, but you know she's been following this thread for the past how many hours, even if she never responded... 3
stillafool Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 Most people that commit suicide, it comes as a shock to people when it happens because there isn't much pre warning. People that talk about it a lot and reach out like you are feel that emotion but deep down have no intention of following through, suicide is hard there is a lot of fear to actually go through with it. By your posts you still care for life a great deal. Seek a doctor for help. You are correct they do it in private and go to great lengths to hide it because they don't want anyone to stop them. I've had 2 friends and my brother commit suicide and all 3 didn't give anyone a clue that they were planning this act. It was devastating and shocking. I think it's awful and selfish when people cry suicide just for attention. 1
Tayla Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 No need to apologize. Most of us have faith in human nature. I need to back away from this post as I have a keen sense that one is the other and the other is the one....Its possible I suppose to create two active accounts by the same person....? Just feel sad here for all those that genuinely gave valid advice only to be made a fool by someone who may well have an alter ego on board.... 4
Zahara Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I have a keen sense that one is the other and the other is the one....Its possible I suppose to create two active accounts by the same person....? Just feel sad here for all those that genuinely gave valid advice only to be made a fool by someone who may well have an alter ego on board.... Second your every thought.
stillafool Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I'm scared for your well being. I would suggest taking a night off from the internet, and spend the evening having dinner with your family or friends. I think you are in real need of human interaction, and more importantly, showing somebody in person just how dire your emotional situation has become. If you are having depressive and/or suicidal thoughts, these are things you NEED to broadcast to somebody in person. Do not choose to only let emotions out on an anonymous forum. Yes you definitely need to get off this forum and connect with people in real life. I think talking about him all the time and reading about similar breakups is keeping you stuck in your current emotional state. I am not a doctor buy you certainly need to see one about your emotional state. No one here on LS can help you. You are wasting your time and you need to move forward which you aren't able to do here. 1
BC1980 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 One comment in particular made me think she was YNL, but it all makes sense now. I really hope she gets sons help. It's a shame to waste a life like this. 1
LostConfused123 Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I hope those reading don't get discouraged by this. (as far as reaching out when in pain) I think I'm at the tail end of my horrific journey and am more than happy to be available to anyone that may need to talk or whatever. I honestly don't have any experience with suicide or depression. Thank God!! Doesn't make me better or anything but just saying. That kind of suffering requires much more than someone to just vent to. My point is, I made a promise to God, the universe, whatever we believe that when I get out of this nightmare I will always be there for people just beginning it or going through it. ((Hugs!!))
Elias33 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 This is a good thing. Anger is essentially the response to thwarted needs, wants, and desires. Essentially, even though it can become destructive e if acted on improperly, it is a life drive, not a death drive. That's exactly why I was saying that. Way too much anger, way too much frustration. Talking about suicide and thinking about suicide is far more common than we think. It's when the passion seeps out and the silence begins....good points.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 I mean, this sucks, but it's hard to get too fired up to help someone who refuses to help themselves, to someone who would rather start new handles and play the victim instead of getting help. She has potential, but squanders it out of fear and laziness and blames it on everyone else. So I guess this is what I'm reduced to in trying to figure out how to help her: http://i.minus.com/ib0R7hP9cKfKmP.gif I just think she's in need of help that's far beyond our capabilities and nothing is going to improve in her life until she takes to initiative to actually get to the bottom of this instead of cutting corners and looking for fast-food-drive-thru solutions to serious problems.
mercuryshadow Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 My conclusive thought to all of this, whether BYCS and YNL are truly one in the same, or not, is that placing your happiness entirely in someone else's hands is always a dead end. It sounds as if her boyfriend completely understood that this was the case and felt too much pressure. I also believe that his knowing that pretty much extinguished any chance of there existing the romantic, in-love kind of love that she was desperate for from him. Not to say that the guy wasn't pretty awful at times, but if we all consider how we would feel with that kind of responsibility placed on us, I don't think the feeling could possibly pave the way for or support the existence of romantic love. I was in a similar situation years ago. Too far removed now to recap my exact feelings then, but I stayed in a dead end relationship where I was absolutely certain there was no future for around 5 years because my mind was just programmed to, well, need him. Rewiring your brain takes a lot of work and is in fact a painful process. The pain can make one out in crazy ways. One of my biggest "pain killers" was to start living for others. To help others, and to rejoice in their happiness, much as if it had become my own. I was able to move on and build a great new life for myself, one that is far better than what I would have had, had my ex remained in the picture. 1
LostConfused123 Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 My conclusive thought to all of this, whether BYCS and YNL are truly one in the same, or not, is that placing your happiness entirely in someone else's hands is always a dead end. It sounds as if her boyfriend completely understood that this was the case and felt too much pressure. I also believe that his knowing that pretty much extinguished any chance of there existing the romantic, in-love kind of love that she was desperate for from him. Not to say that the guy wasn't pretty awful at times, but if we all consider how we would feel with that kind of responsibility placed on us, I don't think the feeling could possibly pave the way for or support the existence of romantic love. I was in a similar situation years ago. Too far removed now to recap my exact feelings then, but I stayed in a dead end relationship where I was absolutely certain there was no future for around 5 years because my mind was just programmed to, well, need him. Rewiring your brain takes a lot of work and is in fact a painful process. The pain can make one out in crazy ways. One of my biggest "pain killers" was to start living for others. To help others, and to rejoice in their happiness, much as if it had become my own. I was able to move on and build a great new life for myself, one that is far better than what I would have had, had my ex remained in the picture. That is so great that you were able to recognize a bad situation and pull yourself out! I really hope BYCS will overcome this. Sent a couple texts this morning and haven't heard from her. I'm hoping she is talking to someone that can help her with her pain. NO DISRESPECT TO EVERYONE HERE. I just mean, talking to someone in person would probably do her a world of good. There is only so much we can do from here and the limited communication I have had with her. I wish her nothing but the best because she deserves it (we all do) I just wish she believed it!!
Natola Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 She hasn't posted at all since a few posters pointed out the other aliases.
pickflicker Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 She hasn't posted at all since a few posters pointed out the other aliases. There appears to be a few months between usernames, so I guess we'll have to wait and see...
veggirl Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 She also may stop posting when they get back together for the 100th time.
JDPT Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Members come, members go, but that old member was very unique in her own league, she went out with a bang. 1
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 (edited) It's fascinating the curiosity you all provoke after the belittling and bullying that was done by a poster who was "only crying wolf and searching for attention" as you all have so nicely put it. Overseeing the very thing that someone was silently screaming...putting a bag over the real issue and shining light on issues that are irrelevant. As much as we all say we hate drama (or whatever you want to label it), we all still have hunger pains for it, which is why you still come here to post on my thread and actively search for ways to get my attention or someone elses...to continue the pointless...only for our selfish reasons to cure our boredom or mundane days and make time go by faster. Someone elses drama is strikingly more interesting then our own mundane life. Which is probably why gossip magazines are so popular and reality TV shows make millions of dollars...Anyways... I actually still come on here time to time and read certain threads, usually right before I'm about to doze off from Klonopin, but for the most part I've avoided this side of the world for a reason. I've been currently preoccupied with reading (The Noonday Demon and several others), staying on top of my medication and keeping busy with family, friends and work. The Lexapro has helped me tremendously and reading has helped a lot also. It's interesting to read about depression. I suggest all of you who flat out told me I'm "searching for attention and crying wolf" to read The Noonday Demon. I think a lot of your questions will be answered and you will have a clearer understanding of what depression really is. No, the ex and I are not back together. I am continuing to move on and heal. I felt like this site, while it helps many others, didn't help me the same way. Instead it just reinforced my obsessive thoughts of my ex partner. But one thing this site did give me was the courage to get help, so thank you for that. I watched the movie "Her" over the weekend. One quote stuck with my the most: Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt. Depression feels like that.Heartbreak also. It's scary and if you have never experienced it, you don't really know. I think in such a public forum, there should be extra doses of love and care, more empathy than sympathy. More concern/compassion than unprofessional, inexperienced labeling and false diagnoses of strangers you hardly know. After all it is called "love"shack. I also suggest a lot of you (the ones who minimize one's serious bout of depression) to watch the clip by a 19 year old: Kevin Breel, 19-Year-Old, Explains What It Feels Like To Be Depressed In Beautiful TEDxYouth Speech (VIDEO) Here are a couple of quotes from the video: Real depression isn't being sad when something in your life goes wrong. Real depression is being sad when everything in your life is going right. That's what I suffer from. And to be totally honest, that's hard for me to stand up here and say. It seems to be hard for everyone to talk about. So much so that no one's talking about it. My story is this. Four simple words: I suffer from depression. For a long time I think I was living two totally different lives, where one person was always afraid of the other. I was afraid that people would see me for who I really was. That I wasn't the perfect, popular kid in high school everyone thought I was. That beneath my smile there was struggle. And beneath my light there was dark. And beneath my big personality just hid even bigger pain. Unfortunately we live in a world where when you break your arm, everyone runs over to sign your cast. But if you tell people you're depressed, everyone runs the other way. That's the stigma. We are so so so accepting of any body part breaking down, other than our brains. The world I believe in is where where embracing your light doesn't mean ignoring your dark. The world I believe in is one where we are measured by our ability to overcome adversities not avoid them. The world I believe in is one where I can look someone in the eye and say, "I'm going through hell," and they can look back at me and go, "Me too," and that's okay. Because depression is okay.I encourage the lot of you to become more aware of depression before writing it off as some drama induced stigma. I'd caution a lot of you to be more careful with your words when someone is seriously depressed and calling out for help. Anyways, I thought I would just share this post with all of those who are curious or who say they aren't. I hope everyone is doing well. Most importantly, I'm taking care of myself and I am doing "better". I still have my rough times and suicidal thoughts, but overall I'm hanging in there. Edited January 20, 2014 by BlessYourCottonSocks spelling
Natola Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Under this ID anyway. One thing I find consistent is that you come on here and ask for advice and don't follow any of it or do the exact opposite. And honestly, when you posted that you had changed your number but then texted him made me as well as I'm sure everyone else here that's followed your threads decide why even bother any more? And then you try the suicide angle. Do you think anyone takes you seriously when you don't take anyone here seriously? 1
pickflicker Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 (edited) It's fascinating the curiosity you all provoke after the belittling and bullying that was done by a poster who was "only crying wolf and searching for attention" as you all have so nicely put it. Overseeing the very thing that someone was silently screaming...putting a bag over the real issue and shining light on issues that are irrelevant. As much as we all say we hate drama (or whatever you want to label it), we all still have hunger pains for it, which is why you still come here to post on my thread and actively search for ways to get my attention or someone elses...to continue the pointless...only for our selfish reasons to cure our boredom or mundane days and make time go by faster. Someone elses drama is strikingly more interesting then our own mundane life. Which is probably why gossip magazines are so popular and reality TV shows make millions of dollars...Anyways... I actually still come on here time to time and read certain threads, usually right before I'm about to doze off from Klonopin, but for the most part I've avoided this side of the world for a reason. I've been currently preoccupied with reading (The Noonday Demon and several others), staying on top of my medication and keeping busy with family, friends and work. The Lexapro has helped me tremendously and reading has helped a lot also. It's interesting to read about depression. I suggest all of you who flat out told me I'm "searching for attention and crying wolf" to read The Noonday Demon. I think a lot of your questions will be answered and you will have a clearer understanding of what depression really is. No, the ex and I are not back together. I am continuing to move on and heal. I felt like this site, while it helps many others, didn't help me the same way. Instead it just reinforced my obsessive thoughts of my ex partner. But one thing this site did give me was the courage to get help, so thank you for that. I watched the movie "Her" over the weekend. One quote stuck with my the most: Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt. Depression feels like that.Heartbreak also. It's scary and if you have never experienced it, you don't really know. I think in such a public forum, there should be extra doses of love and care, more empathy than sympathy. More concern/compassion than unprofessional, inexperienced labeling and false diagnoses of strangers you hardly know. After all it is called "love"shack. I also suggest a lot of you (the ones who minimize one's serious bout of depression) to watch the clip by a 19 year old: Kevin Breel, 19-Year-Old, Explains What It Feels Like To Be Depressed In Beautiful TEDxYouth Speech (VIDEO) Here are a couple of quotes from the video: I encourage the lot of you to become more aware of depression before writing it off as some drama induced stigma. I'd caution a lot of you to be more careful with your words when someone is seriously depressed and calling out for help. Anyways, I thought I would just share this post with all of those who are curious or who say they aren't. I hope everyone is doing well. Most importantly, I'm taking care of myself and I am doing "better". I still have my rough times and suicidal thoughts, but overall I'm hanging in there. If you're getting help, I think that is excellent. Hopefully you will take control of yourself and no longer submit to being a helpless victim. There has been a wealth of support and encouragement on here for you. To bite the hand that feeds you is pretty low. I encourage you to look at the advice for what it is, take it on board, and work towards being a stronger person who is control of her own life, rather than abdicating responsibility to the internet community. I wish you all the best. Edited January 21, 2014 by pickflicker 3
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 Under this ID anyway. One thing I find consistent is that you come on here and ask for advice and don't follow any of it or do the exact opposite. And honestly, when you posted that you had changed your number but then texted him made me as well as I'm sure everyone else here that's followed your threads decide why even bother any more? And then you try the suicide angle. Do you think anyone takes you seriously when you don't take anyone here seriously? How many times have you taken the advice of others? It's a well known fact that it's easier to dish out advice then to take it. Especially when love is involved. WHICH is why this site exists, countless posters never take each others advice. The main reason we give advice is to actually help ourselves for therapeutic reasons. And IF, IF you are perfect, and have taken all the advice you have ever been given then you are the few lucky. "And then I try the suicide angle" WOW. Just absolute wow. I'm not even going to rebel that because it's ludicrous, ignorant and I don't even know you to care to put in an effort to explain myself. You would probably rebel against whatever I say anyways. Let's reverse that last line here: Do you think I take anyone seriously when they don't take ME seriously? Please do yourself a favor and read the book I read, "The Noonday Demon" and then you can come back here and tell me whatever you want when you have more knowledge. At the end of the day, NO MATTER how many of you go against me, I will continue to stand up for myself even if it is alone. I have grown stronger because most of my life I had to do things alone, I had to stand alone. Last I checked, this is my life and I should be able to do whatever makes me happy (even if it goes against everyone else's advice). Which is probably why I love being alone so much, as a natural introvert, I look forward to coming home by myself...just being away from people. Here I go again...going off topic. Anyways, I truly don't hate any of you. I appreciate all the advice, even the advice I don't agree with. We each our own people, that's what makes the world go round. We have our own beliefs, views and differences. But at the end of the day, my own happiness (and your own happiness) is all that matters.
Zahara Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 (edited) Do you think I take anyone seriously when they don't take ME seriously? Posters have given you pages and pages of advice under YNL89, Alwasycoffee and BYCS. If no one had taken you seriously, people would not have put time and effort into constructing their opinions, thoughts and wisdom to help you deal with your situation. The thing with you is that when advice doesn't coddle you or entertain your drama, you rail against everyone about how no one understands, how everyone is attacking you, how everyone can't understand you issues and how no one supports you. The only person that doesn't take you seriously is you. Look at the many names you've posted under 3 different usernames. Who can take you seriously? The many times you've gone against your own words. The many times you've cried suicide like it's a common greeting in the morning -- and even recently changed your number but used that number to engage in contact. It's futile. The consensus is true. You are accountable for your own well being. You've cried suicide using all your usernames -- do something about it. Don't come on here and rile everyone up. This is not a game. It isn't fair to those that cannot help you through a screen when you cry suicide. If you feel suicidal, engage with your family, call your doctor, call a friend -- this has gone on for far too long. You deserve to be happy but that would mean for you to find professional help. Coming on LS and doing the same song and dance will garner you nothing. Edited January 21, 2014 by Zahara 1
Saurren Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 If you really need a friend BlessYourCottonSocks then I will be your friend. 1
Allumere Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I'm not reading this whole thread although I thin kI have hit the highlights. Ok BYCS, as the suggestions/direction provided by posters in response to you crisis were not well received (including some pretty brave admissions by otheres who suffer form depression...) why don't you tell us in your words what you think you needed when at a low point. I don't have time to read a book but that doesn't mean I am not interested in learning/understanding. What is difficult in communicating with someone with depression or a mood disorder is that the logic switches that work for someone without those conditions are not engaged when the affected person is in crisis. 1
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