Fm1234 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Hello, My girlfriend and I, have been together since October 2012. I live in the UK and she lives 5000 miles away in the USA. I told my parents and family earlier last year, and she says that she wishes she'd told hers when I told mine. It doesn't matter now. She hasn't told hers yet, and I'm going to see her in March and she would like me to meet them. However, the problem is, she is very scared about telling her parents as they are very traditional, and she fears that not only will they be angry, she fears they might also throw her out. If it's helpful, she's eighteen and I've just turned twenty. We love each other very much, and we've planned our future, so that we can eventually be together. It's all good, except, as the question suggests, she's doesn't really know what to do about telling her parents. Her brothers know about me, and I've spoken to them many times on Skype. Her friends know, too. Any help, and/or suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thank you!
justwhoiam Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 First of all, would this be the first time you meet her? When I was around your age, I was dating a guy a few years older than me, this went on for 1.5 years. But anyway, down the relationship, they wanted to meet the guy and sort of pushed me to make them meet. So one day I let him in and they said hi, etc. To make a long story short, when we broke up, my mother told me: don't bring any other guy in here unless you're sure about it(him). I can't tell you how that made me feel... it was them wanting to know who he was and meet him. If I didn't, it's because I wasn't sure yet. So, this is to say that if it's your first time meeting her, meeting her parents might be a bit too binding. If you think it's a good idea, don't let it be on day 1 at least. Get some time to know her and see how you feel around her and how she feels around you. Anyway, if her brothers know about you, her friends too, and she made it known over the web, I don't think her parents are so blind they don't know anything. Parents know at times even when they are not saying anything about it. Maybe they are just waiting for her to say something official.
Author Fm1234 Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 (edited) Hi 'justwhoiam' - thanks for replying. Yes, this will be the first time meeting her. After lots and lots of problems, we've pushed the date back about five times! With what you said, I feel the need to add this - when she tells them, I will be meeting them on Skype before I go. And I of course, won't be meeting them on the first day. As to your other point, they do kind of know that she's involved with someone. They've seen her on skype with me, they've seen my picture on her phone, her brothers (who are younger) have mentioned me a few times accidentally, and she has also mentioned me once or twice (deliberately). They know the name, and they think she's involved with someone, they just don't know who, or the situation. The real main problem is, she just doesn't know how to tell them, or what to say to them. Edited January 6, 2014 by Fm1234 Typo
justwhoiam Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Well, they already know about you. I really don't see the necessity of meeting them online prior the meeting with your hopefully soon to be girlfriend. Don't make anything so official before you even meet her! Remember that things can work out just fine, or maybe not, or maybe they are OK but not that great as you would hope. Be prepared for anything. And give yourself the time to know her in person. No matter how many ILUs you exchanged before that.
Recommended Posts