curiousnycgirl Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 I have no clue what to do. I've been with my b/f for 7 months - however we have not had sex in 4. I have asked him about this and he either does not respond, or tells me he is preoccupied. Otherwise things are excellent - and he is very demonstrative - gives hugs, kisses, etc. and we have a wonderful time when we are together. On thanksgiving I told him I cared for him a lot, but things were not working for me. I asked him if he wanted to end it - that it would be a bitter pill for me to swallow, but he should tell me then. He said no he thought things were better than ever and even thought about marriage. I told him things had to change (really just the lack of the physical) however since I knew he was away most of December - to be fair I didn't expect to see change to January (well it came out better than that). Anyway - he was away Christmas through New Years and I watched his dog. Upon his return he literally did a drive by!!! He did not spend time with me after 2 weeks away - nothing. I brought the dog to his car!!!! That was a week ago. This past week has been very hard for him, lots at work and the dog needed surgery (nothing I did), etc. So I clearly understand lack of communication. His dog is still under the weather, so I understand him wanting to stay close to home - but he still has not indicated any interest in seeing me! We frequently/usually spend the weekends at his house, so asking me to come down would really not have been unusual. I am very confused. What I further don't understand is why his profile (we met online) is back on and totally updated?! I guess my biggest issue here is his lack of honesty, I just don't get it. So here's the big question - WHAT DO I DO? I guess I should just let it go - not call, etc. But how do I fix me? How do I stop wanting to see him and be with him? How do I stop thinking it will change? Now I remember why I avoid relationships like the plague - they feel like this!
Merin Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 Your BF is IMO a Assclown! He is telling you that HE feels things between the 2 of you are better than ever... WTF! You're sitting there telling him that maybe things need to come to an end... and he looks at you and says no, things are good?! Is he really that dense? Seriously it didn't occur to him to ask why YOU feel this way? OR to ask you how HE can make things better for you? Now his profile is all updated... he no longer has any time or desire to spend with you... but he isn't willing to give you the closure here... IMO he is holding onto you as his "back up plan" and seeing what else is out there... I would suggest having one last attempt at a conversation with this idiot... don't ask him IF his profile is updated or beat around the bush here... tell him you know his profile has been updated, you know he isn't wanting to spend time with you, and things between the 2 of you AREN'T good! If he wants to play games and continue being dumb... then don't bother with his stupid butt anymore... ignore him completely and update your profile as well. Good Luck
Weird Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 Yeah doesnt sound like he is realy treating you well and is not caring much about the relationship and thinks you are in the palm of his hand. You should have a really good honest talk with him about this and don't accept him saying "I think things are great" as hius answer...make him open up. As for the sex stuff, I think it is silly that you think that is grounds for breaking up. Maybe the guy doesn't want to have sex again until he is married to you or to someone. It is possible for people to be in a relationship, have sex and then start thinking about how they would rather cool that off until later down the line. However, if this is the case he should explain it to you rather than have you guess. Maybe the sex was clouding his judgment of you and he wanted to see you for the person you are and get closer to you and not see you through the sex. Sex does not make people closer. Sex doesnt make a relationship (at least not a mature & healthy one) so please don't put that much importance in it. Good luck with all this and remember, you need to look out for you. If this guy does not wish to be open to you and you do not want to deal with it (I do find it curious he ahs his dating profile back up and all that jazz...disrespectful to you IMO) then you should end it. Here's hoping that whatever hapens you will end up happy babe.
Author curiousnycgirl Posted January 8, 2005 Author Posted January 8, 2005 Thank you for your responses. I guess since I've already tried confronting him - and that didn't work - I'm just going to let it go. While I hate that - in fact I think it is completely dishonest on both our parts, but he started this BS thing, I just refuse to perpetuate it!!!! Now I am just left hurt and confused and swearing off relationships again! This really sux!
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