Loose Contact - delaying the inevitable & I hate myself for it

[imperfectangel]

I am a OW - long distance but have always maintained somewhat loose contact I guess I could never handle it ever been "over"

 

I'm now learning that really it was over a long time ago; never got a merryxmas plus I've been very ill recently and he's never asked how I am (his explanation for this is that its out of his control)

 

I've learnt the hard way that really I was just like a toy to him to play with whenever he could be bothered to

 

for some reason and I think it was really my illness today I'm just feeling so over it and I'm mad at myself for letting it drag on this long

 

there's no spark there anymore I don't get the butterflies when his name pops up on my phone, I'm mad at him for doing this to me and now I'm even more mad at myself for letting him

[Snipercatt]

I'm sorry that you're ill, and sorry for your pain. Sometimes clarity comes in bushels.

 

Anger can serve to propel you forward.

 

Wishing you a speedy recovery and peace of mind.